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Girlfriend and mother of my children wants to be on title.

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Ataloss1000

New member
My girlfriend and mother of my 2 children wants to be on the title of a home that we close on Tuesday. My parents have loaned me the money to pay in cash and I will repay them over about 10 years. I am selling my previous house that we lived in together for 3 years to make a down payment. I paid off the 1st house entirely myself. She is very upset that I dont plan on putting her on the title immediately. I told her that it can always be changed later on. We have not discussed if she will be putting equity into the house as I have planned to pay for it myself, but that could change I suppose. State of residency is Ohio. I feel ncomfortable putting her on the title because my family has put forward all of the money and I plan on repaying it all within the next 10 years. I think we both believe the other is being unreasobable, me for ot letting her be on title, and her for asking to be on it without contributing anything financially.
 


BuyLowSellHigh

Active Member
First get your loan agreement with family reviewed by an attorney.

Marriage with Prenup, give her the home in your will, or are you willing to gift her half of the equity in the home to stay in this relationship?
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
What alternatives other than putting her on the title at the time of closing do I have?

The other alternative at the closing is not putting her on the title. You don't want to put her on the title without a very solid contract between you as to how the the arrangement will work: what share of the property she gets, what she has to contribute, etc. That agreement should be drafted by a lawyer and you each ought to have your own separate lawyers review it. Once you put her name on the deed she'll own a portion of it, and the presumption if there is nothing in writing will be that she owns half. Without a good solid contract in place you may find you lose half the property should you break up with her later. You really should have sat down and worked out how the finances are going to work between the two of you well before committing to buying this place. A few days before closing isn't going to give you much time to get that done now. And financial disagreements are one of the biggest things that breaks up most couples.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
The other alternative at the closing is not putting her on the title. You don't want to put her on the title without a very solid contract between you as to how the the arrangement will work: what share of the property she gets, what she has to contribute, etc. That agreement should be drafted by a lawyer and you each ought to have your own separate lawyers review it. Once you put her name on the deed she'll own a portion of it, and the presumption if there is nothing in writing will be that she owns half. Without a good solid contract in place you may find you lose half the property should you break up with her later. You really should have sat down and worked out how the finances are going to work between the two of you well before committing to buying this place. A few days before closing isn't going to give you much time to get that done now. And financial disagreements are one of the biggest things that breaks up most couples.
HE'S buying it. They are not married. Right now, should they part ways, the only thing she is entitled to is child support.

I see no reason for them to co mingle finances and assets if they aren't committed enough to get married. And if the idea of marrying, and future increase in home equity and income being a marital assets/income, gives OP anxiety, then he's not really in the relationship for the long haul, and certainly should NOT add the girlfriend to the title.

If he wants to make sure that the children are provided for, he should instead look into a will and life insurance.

What alternatives other than putting her on the title at the time of closing do I have?
Would she be satisfied with a will and life insurance?
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
HE'S buying it. They are not married. Right now, should they part ways, the only thing she is entitled to is child support.
He's buying it, but if he puts her on the deed, she'll own part of the home. It's not unusual for unmarried couples living together to buy a home together. And those arrangements can work out fine — if they sit down and work out how the financial arrangements will work and, with respect to the house, enter into a well drafted written contract that lays out the deal they struck. We see the posts on these boards of what happens when they don't do that. It can be a mess.

I see no reason for them to co mingle finances and assets if they aren't committed enough to get married. And if the idea of marrying, and future increase in home equity and income being a marital assets/income, gives OP anxiety, then he's not really in the relationship for the long haul, and certainly should NOT add the girlfriend to the title.
But you are not the OP and also do not know the OP's situation in any detail. So while refusing to commingle your finances with a live in girlfriend/boyfriend would be right for you, for other couples it's important for them to share the finances. And done right it can work well. I've seen it work well. But they have to have those conversations about finances that all many couples — even married couples — avoid and because they lack the protections that marriage provides they have to do the next best thing of using contracts to set in place what they decided upon.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
My girlfriend and mother of my 2 children wants to be on the title of a home that we close on Tuesday. My parents have loaned me the money to pay in cash and I will repay them over about 10 years. I am selling my previous house that we lived in together for 3 years to make a down payment. I paid off the 1st house entirely myself. She is very upset that I dont plan on putting her on the title immediately. I told her that it can always be changed later on. We have not discussed if she will be putting equity into the house as I have planned to pay for it myself, but that could change I suppose. State of residency is Ohio. I feel uncomfortable putting her on the title because my family has put forward all of the money and I plan on repaying it all within the next 10 years. I think we both believe the other is being unreasonable, me for not letting her be on title, and her for asking to be on it without contributing anything financially.
You are in the right in my opinion. Just make sure that you do not accept one penny of money from her towards the house payment, decorations or maintenance. Pay for all of that yourself. If you let her put money into the house it could cause legitimate resentment on her part. You have children together so you would want any breakup to be as civil as possible.
 
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not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
He's buying it, but if he puts her on the deed, she'll own part of the home. It's not unusual for unmarried couples living together to buy a home together. And those arrangements can work out fine — if they sit down and work out how the financial arrangements will work and, with respect to the house, enter into a well drafted written contract that lays out the deal they struck. We see the posts on these boards of what happens when they don't do that. It can be a mess.
And it's pretty clear that OP believes that, should they part ways, the house should be considered his, and his alone.

So why put her name on it?
 

Taxing Matters

Overtaxed Member
And it's pretty clear that OP believes that, should they part ways, the house should be considered his, and his alone.

So why put her name on it?
That's a choice he has to make taking into account both his relationship with the girlfriend and the risks involved in adding her to the deed. Again, the details of their particular situation matter and I'm not going to sit here with insufficient facts and opine that he absolutely should not do it. It's easy for anyone here to say he absolutely shouldn't do it, but we aren't in that relationship either. He's the one that has to live with the consequences of the decision on the relationship. We don't.

But if he does decide to do it, he ought to take the steps I've indicated to reduce those risks.
 

zddoodah

Active Member
My girlfriend and mother of my 2 children wants to be on the title of a home that we close on Tuesday.
Did you really mean "we close"? Sounds more like you meant to write, "I close." Who is/are the buyer(s) named on the purchase/sale contract? Is it just you, or is it both you and your girlfriend?

My parents have loaned me the money to pay in cash and I will repay them over about 10 years. I am selling my previous house that we lived in together for 3 years to make a down payment.
So...you won't be taking out a mortgage? Are your parents going to take a lien against the property, or is their loan to you going to be unsecured?

I feel ncomfortable putting her on the title because my family has put forward all of the money and I plan on repaying it all within the next 10 years.
Only you? Your girlfriend isn't going to contribute anything to the repayment of the loan from your parents?

What alternatives other than putting her on the title at the time of closing do I have?
Ummm...the alternative to putting her on title is not to put her on title. What did you intend by this question?

Let me point out a few things:

First, starting to think about this only two business days before closing is not good because you have a lot to think about and probably not enough time to do it.

Second, you're not married but claim to have two children with this woman. Between not wanting to make a commitment to a marriage and your (reasonable) reluctance to put her on title, I have to wonder about your level of commitment to this relationship.

Third, has your paternity of the kids ever been established? If so, how was it established.

Fourth, let's say you refuse to put your girlfriend on title. What do you think she's going to do, given that you're not married and depending on your answer to my question about paternity? In other words, but for the kids, this would be a no-brainer for you given that you're the only one putting money into this purchase. However, if there's a risk that this woman packs up and leaves with the kids, it's a much more difficult choice.
 
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FlyingRon

Senior Member
I should point out that being on the title isn't like some sort of club membership. You're outright giving her, irrevocably, half the property. This is the implication you need to deal with.
 

bcr229

Active Member
Since your parents are loaning you the money for the house, have you asked them their opinion of you putting your girlfriend on the deed and effectively giving her half of the property? Because if you were my child I'd be upset that you'd even entertain the idea.
 

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