grandma is now saying she doesn't want to go to court

[catlvr976]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hello, I've posted here before about my former mother in law.

We had a review last month about the visitation she received that had been changed due to my moving.

Earlier this month, she missed her monthly visit since the review (actually the first of any visits since the review), saying she doesn't have the money to come up and visit my kids. We live about 2 hrs away, and we were to split the travel time-one month she comes up, the next month, I travel and there is to be yet another review come Mar. She was very angry at the last one, saying that she didn't get what she wanted, and what she was given didn't give her the "power" that she wanted. This was told to me by my attorney who heard her screaming at her attorney after the review.

Yesterday I spoke with her about the visit for next month, and she is now saying that she is tired of fighting to prove she's a good gma, her unemployment ran out and she just won't have the money to travel up here and that she is supposedly going to contact her lawyer and tell her that she is not going back to court again. My question is this, if she does that, what happens next? Will we have to go to court again to end the current order?

I'm not holding my breath here, but was wondering what might happen next, and what would happen in the future if she were decide, once again, to take me back to court? My kids will be very happy about this, as they are not too pleased with having to travel to see her (yesterday was the first time she's spoken with them since Aug).

Again, I thank you kindly for any advice.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hello, I've posted here before about my former mother in law.

We had a review last month about the visitation she received that had been changed due to my moving.

Earlier this month, she missed her monthly visit since the review (actually the first of any visits since the review), saying she doesn't have the money to come up and visit my kids. We live about 2 hrs away, and we were to split the travel time-one month she comes up, the next month, I travel and there is to be yet another review come Mar. She was very angry at the last one, saying that she didn't get what she wanted, and what she was given didn't give her the "power" that she wanted. This was told to me by my attorney who heard her screaming at her attorney after the review.

Yesterday I spoke with her about the visit for next month, and she is now saying that she is tired of fighting to prove she's a good gma, her unemployment ran out and she just won't have the money to travel up here and that she is supposedly going to contact her lawyer and tell her that she is not going back to court again. My question is this, if she does that, what happens next? Will we have to go to court again to end the current order?

I'm not holding my breath here, but was wondering what might happen next, and what would happen in the future if she were decide, once again, to take me back to court? My kids will be very happy about this, as they are not too pleased with having to travel to see her (yesterday was the first time she's spoken with them since Aug).

Again, I thank you kindly for any advice.

She doesn't have the power she wants, or money to spend, therefore she doesn't want to play anymore. Its not uncommon.

Just sit back an wait to see what happens for six months or so...maybe even give it a year. After that you can file to have the orders vacated based on the lack of visitation by grandma.

Unless of course her attorney takes her at her word and actually files to dismiss the case now.

 

[CJane]

She doesn't have the power she wants, or money to spend, therefore she doesn't want to play anymore. Its not uncommon.

Just sit back an wait to see what happens for six months or so...maybe even give it a year. After that you can file to have the orders vacated based on the lack of visitation by grandma.

Unless of course her attorney takes her at her word and actually files to dismiss the case now.

Isn't the parent still obligated to travel with the child to visit grandma every other month?

 

[LdiJ]

Isn't the parent still obligated to travel with the child to visit grandma every other month?

Maybe...it all depends on how grandma follows through. These were interim orders and if grandma doesn't follow through or if her attorney asks for the case to be dismissed then it would likely revert back to the original orders...which from my understanding all took place at OP's home.

I have seen this happen alot. Grandparents who are not in it for the right reasons give up when their money runs out or its clear that they will not get what they want...and then they are not interested in seeing the children at all. Or, they realize that the children really do not give them the "love" they thought they were going to get and then they give up as well.

There was one pre-Troxel case (which the USSC later also ruled on without actually hearing the case, Dodge vs Graville, out of AZ). In that case at one point the grandparents stated that they did not want any more visits until the children attended therapy and were taught to love them again by the therapist. The judge actually ORDERED that! That part did get overturned by the appeal court in AZ.

 

[catlvr976]

I just happened to come back here today and saw the new replies.

Yes, the visits originally always took place at my home prior to these changes.

I have yet to hear anything from my attorney or hers.

Wouldn't the courts ever have take her rights away? I wish she'd just go away, since she has only spoken to my children that one time - since she last saw them in August - and hasn't even called them for their birthday.

I don't know what her deal is and I don't know if I should tell my attorney what she told me last month. I haven't said anything to him yet and don't know if I should just let it go for now. She did seem like she was pretty straightforward when she told me she wouldn't be coming up to visit.

I think she's mad that she's not getting what she wants. She pretty much left it all up to me whether or not my kids have a relationship with her; saying that if I don't bring them down, maybe someday they'll "look her up."

 

[Proserpina]

Maybe...it all depends on how grandma follows through. These were interim orders and if grandma doesn't follow through or if her attorney asks for the case to be dismissed then it would likely revert back to the original orders...which from my understanding all took place at OP's home.

I have seen this happen alot. Grandparents who are not in it for the right reasons give up when their money runs out or its clear that they will not get what they want...and then they are not interested in seeing the children at all. Or, they realize that the children really do not give them the "love" they thought they were going to get and then they give up as well.

There was one pre-Troxel case (which the USSC later also ruled on without actually hearing the case, Dodge vs Graville, out of AZ). In that case at one point the grandparents stated that they did not want any more visits until the children attended therapy and were taught to love them again by the therapist. The judge actually ORDERED that! That part did get overturned by the appeal court in AZ.

LD, given OP's most recent post is it possible (likely?) that the visitation can be stopped?

Does OP have to wait?