grandmother driving us crazy

[tired_of_it]

What is the name of your state? mississippi

My husband and I are still married. And for awhile now his mother has been doing things that are driving both of us crazy! She does not like me and goes around spreading lies about me. She has even took to saying bad things about me in front of my children. We have tried to talk to her and get her to stop but it has not worked. I do not think that it is healthy for a child to be around someone that runs their parents down. I want to get her out of our life so we can live in peace. There is just too much drama and it is rapidly causing problems. If we do not allow our daughter to be around her anymore can she take us to court for visitation?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

If we do not allow our daughter to be around her anymore can she take us to court for visitation?

My response:

No. You have a Constitutional right to rear and guide your child in any lawful manner you see fit. And, that includes allowing, or not allowing, anyone to see or visit with her - - including Granny.

Grandchildren make wonderful carrots! Start dangling!

IAAL

 

[tired_of_it]

I would like to add another thing.... If there was anyway possible to change the way things are and have a normal family enviornment between us all, I would gladly do it and put the past in the past. Family is very important to me and my husband This is a last resort. My husband loves his mother very much but it is putting a strain on our sanity and our marriage and we feel there is no other alternative.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I would like to add another thing.... If there was anyway possible to change the way things are and have a normal family enviornment between us all, I would gladly do it and put the past in the past. Family is very important to me and my husband This is a last resort. My husband loves his mother very much but it is putting a strain on our sanity and our marriage and we feel there is no other alternative.

My response:

I fully understand. So, you tell your mother-in-law that she's not allowed in your trailer any longer - or, at least until she learns to keep her big mouth shut - and that she won't be seeing Sally Jo any longer until she shapes up.

There's not a damn thing she can do about it, either.

IAAL

 

[tired_of_it]

I have been told that she has been considering taking us to court to try and get custody of our daughter. Can she do that? Dont she have to be able to prove us unfit. And what do courts consider unfit?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

This is your Mother-in-Law, a certain amount of craziness is attached to the title no matter reality. Teach your children well and they will make you proud in the longrun no matter what granny may say or do, kids are very astute. Let them have a relationship with their gramdmother and I'll bet the things that bother you will be less. Teach your children tolerance and respect and they will be there when you grow old, shut Granny out and they will do the same to you. I could give you stories that wuld make your hair stand on end with my MIL, but I still taught my children to respect her and the accepted her knowing the truth and her unique view on life. I was also the only one she knew or trusted when she was delusional in the hospital in her last days and she only remembered me in the best of ways and her own daughter abandoned her. She was so stranage that when we had large family gatherings, you know the type where you set up the card table for the children, that we had to buy a second full size table to accommodate all the adults who wanted to volunteer to sit with the children, leaving the rest to entertain Granny . What goes around, comes around.

 

[tired_of_it]

My daughter is very young and I feel she is to young to form her own opinion about these things. She is at the age that she is very vulnerable to what she hears. She has even called me ugly names because she heard it from granny. Is that really something I should dismiss.
And for the family meals that you refered to, we do not do that or let me correct myself, they do, but I am not included in family gatherings.
I did at one time think that it would go away with time but it only seems to get worse.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

My daughter is very young and I feel she is to young to form her own opinion about these things. She is at the age that she is very vulnerable to what she hears. She has even called me ugly names because she heard it from granny. Is that really something I should dismiss.
And for the family meals that you refered to, we do not do that or let me correct myself, they do, but I am not included in family gatherings.
I did at one time think that it would go away with time but it only seems to get worse.

My children were also very young but grew into tolerant and caring adults in spite of Granny. If your daughter repeats ugly or inappropriate things she learns from Granny or anyone, she doesn't know what they mean anymore than she can form an opinion. It is just a word that gets a reaction from you, in other words, attntion. If you think it is bad wait until she goes to school, you would be limiting most of the other students at some point. It is a phase children go through. Be patient, explain what is proper and correct her, that is your job as a parent, to teach. This is a part of teaching your child appropriateness and social interaction, that is how she learns to form opinions and how to act, she learns from you more so than from Granny. If you force a rift, she will notice that more than you think.

Yes you may be excluded and perhaps that is easier than interracting with his relatives. I remember my first Christmas with my inlaws, at their place because it HAD to be at their place, there were a number of Christmas presents addressed to me and an equal number addressed to my SIL, everytime I opened my gift, my MIL would say, "Oh! That is for XXXX not you" in the end my only gift was a stained sweater missing buttons from a thrift store (tag was left on with it's .50 price) his whole family thought this was totally appropriate! Do you think I wanted ot be there?

Eventually, I requested to hold the holiday meals at our place which put me in control.
ls

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? mississippi

My husband and I are still married. And for awhile now his mother has been doing things that are driving both of us crazy! She does not like me and goes around spreading lies about me. She has even took to saying bad things about me in front of my children. We have tried to talk to her and get her to stop but it has not worked. I do not think that it is healthy for a child to be around someone that runs their parents down. I want to get her out of our life so we can live in peace. There is just too much drama and it is rapidly causing problems. If we do not allow our daughter to be around her anymore can she take us to court for visitation?

Yes, under the laws of the state of MS she does have standing to sue for grandparent visitation rights. However, having the standing to sue does not guarantee that she would actually win the case. Only parents automatically get visitation unless they are a total danger to the child. Third parties (ie, grandparents) in MS must first prove that you have unreasonably denied visitation and that the visitation would be in the child's best interest.

Grandma would have to show sufficient evidence to overcome the presumption that fit parents act in their children's best interest. Due to the fact that you and your husband are united in this, and due to the fact that it is not healthy for child to have people bad-mouthing/lying about their parent, it would be a difficult thing for grandma to prove.

If grandma did win, its likely that visitation would be much more limited than she would anticipate. It would most likely be just once a month and the judge would specifically restrict her from badmouthing the parents. That might not stop her from doing so, but it might cause the judge to vacate the order if she persists.

Grandma would not have standing to sue for custody, as there is no disruption in your family.

 

[BL]

If she were to gain limited visits . an Order could be placed in the Orders to State , Neither Parent,Friends,nor Guest will speak derogatorily in front of or to the child(ren) about each other , or their household members .

After filing about 6 or 7 contempt Petitions , the Courts will be tired of seeing the Parties in the Court Room , and eventually cut the strings .

I disagree with letting granny continue this destructions .

Kids brains are sponges , they take that garbage in , and it Damages Immediate Family relationships . Especially in the young growing stages .
I'd be dammed If I let a child in my household keep calling me names granny implanted in their heads .

This goes on long enough ,permanent damage will occur .

Who in the hell is granny ?

I also agree tell granny to shut the hell up .

 

[tired_of_it]

Up untill now Granny has had visitation with my daughter every other weekend. Because she has had her on a regular schedule does that make her chances better of winning visitation in court?

 

[LdiJ]

Up untill now Granny has had visitation with my daughter every other weekend. Because she has had her on a regular schedule does that make her chances better of winning visitation in court?

Yes, that does make her chances greater. It still by no means guarantees her a win, but it does increase her chances.

 

[titansfan]

grandma is a fruitcake

since shes pulling all this crap, i wouldnt let her see your child. she doesnt deserve it.id tell grandma to go to hell

 

[tired_of_it]

O.k I just spent the last few hours going thru MS codes and laws. There is a Grandparents law in MS. It says something about death of one parent and if the grandparent has supported the child for 6 mths or longer. But it does not mention anything else. I dont know much about how the law works or court stuff, So my question is...Since the the law only mention those things does that mean those are the only cercumstances that she can take me to court under?
Granny has struck again. I received a phone call that Granny now says that I am into witch craft and that I am not suitable to be around my daughters or step children. A VERY long time ago when I was young and confused about "who I was" I did experiment with those type things. But that was over 11 years ago. People go thru many changes and phases when they are young and growing into a responsible adult. Some of which we are not proud of. That kind of thing was only a phase and way in my past .Since then I have been a member of a christian church and do not even hold conversation with anyone concerning witch craft. At the present I do not attend any church but that in no means shows that I am back into witch craft. I feel in my heart that I am still a christian regaurdless of whether I attend church or not...... Will the lies, munipulation, need of control and hate ever stop.

 

[BL]

O.k I just spent the last few hours going thru MS codes and laws. There is a Grandparents law in MS. It says something about death of one parent and if the grandparent has supported the child for 6 mths or longer. But it does not mention anything else. I dont know much about how the law works or court stuff, So my question is...Since the the law only mention those things does that mean those are the only cercumstances that she can take me to court under?
Granny has struck again. I received a phone call that Granny now says that I am into witch craft and that I am not suitable to be around my daughters or step children. A VERY long time ago when I was young and confused about "who I was" I did experiment with those type things. But that was over 11 years ago. People go thru many changes and phases when they are young and growing into a responsible adult. Some of which we are not proud of. That kind of thing was only a phase and way in my past .Since then I have been a member of a christian church and do not even hold conversation with anyone concerning witch craft. At the present I do not attend any church but that in no means shows that I am back into witch craft. I feel in my heart that I am still a christian regaurdless of whether I attend church or not...... Will the lies, munipulation, need of control and hate ever stop.

The ONLY reason Granny strikes again , IS because you and your Husband alow it .