Grandmother wants custody of grandson

[mskad]

What is the name of your state? PA child resides in WV
This is a bit complicated but I will try to make it as simple as possible:

My nephew is 9 years old and lives in WV. Parents were never married. Paternity established, there is cs order but no visitation order. Dad sees his son anytime he wants; basically, mom smokes meth and can't be bothered with her son. When dad doesn't have his son, maternal grandmother does. Maternal grandmother also has my nephews older sister living with her although not by court order.

Maternal grandmother's husband doesn't want all these kids in his house, but when he tells my nephew he needs to go home to mom, he does not want to go. His dad usually takes him home with him.

There is so much more to the story than this but I'm trying to be brief. In essence, my mother (paternal grandmother) wants to obtain custody of my nephew in order to give him a more stable life. Maternal grandmother is all for this but says it's up to the childs' mom (which legally it is). But mom won't want to give up the cs even though it has been months since she's even seen my nephew. At one point my nephew stayed with his dad for 6 months with absolutely no contact from mom. I tried to get my brother to file for visitation as a first step to obtaining custody but it's like getting blood from a turnip to get him to make the first move. He is also agreeable to my mom having custody.

What does my mom need to do to prove it is in the best interest of the child for her to have custody? My mom lives in PA.What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? PA child resides in WV
This is a bit complicated but I will try to make it as simple as possible:

My nephew is 9 years old and lives in WV. Parents were never married. Paternity established, there is cs order but no visitation order. Dad sees his son anytime he wants; basically, mom smokes meth and can't be bothered with her son. When dad doesn't have his son, maternal grandmother does. Maternal grandmother also has my nephews older sister living with her although not by court order.

Maternal grandmother's husband doesn't want all these kids in his house, but when he tells my nephew he needs to go home to mom, he does not want to go. His dad usually takes him home with him.

There is so much more to the story than this but I'm trying to be brief. In essence, my mother (paternal grandmother) wants to obtain custody of my nephew in order to give him a more stable life. Maternal grandmother is all for this but says it's up to the childs' mom (which legally it is). But mom won't want to give up the cs even though it has been months since she's even seen my nephew. At one point my nephew stayed with his dad for 6 months with absolutely no contact from mom. I tried to get my brother to file for visitation as a first step to obtaining custody but it's like getting blood from a turnip to get him to make the first move. He is also agreeable to my mom having custody.

What does my mom need to do to prove it is in the best interest of the child for her to have custody? My mom lives in PA.What is the name of your state?

Your mom needs to get a consult with a local attorney. What you are proposing that she do is not at all simple...and its not at all guaranteed that she has "standing" to file.

 

[mskad]

Your mom needs to get a consult with a local attorney. What you are proposing that she do is not at all simple...and its not at all guaranteed that she has "standing" to file.

I've been researching WV Family Law statutes and they do make provisions for grandparents to file for visitation, so how far of a stretch is it to file for custody? My nephew is such a sweet kid and he deserves far better than what he's getting. We all only want to do what's best for him.

 

[LdiJ]

I've been researching WV Family Law statutes and they do make provisions for grandparents to file for visitation, so how far of a stretch is it to file for custody? My nephew is such a sweet kid and he deserves far better than what he's getting. We all only want to do what's best for him.

Even visitation would be a serious stretch for your grandmother....because your brother is alive and well and has plenty of time with the child that he can share with his family.

In order for a grandparent to take custody away from a parent, there has to be really serious, PROVEN (with hard evidence) abuse, neglect or abandonment going on. You don't appear to have that.

Your brother however is on an equal legal level to mom, therefore his chances are far greater.

 

[Zephyr]

if mom is so horrible why in the world isn't dad filing for custody?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? PA child resides in WV
This is a bit complicated but I will try to make it as simple as possible:

My nephew is 9 years old and lives in WV. Parents were never married. Paternity established, there is cs order but no visitation order. Dad sees his son anytime he wants; basically, mom smokes meth and can't be bothered with her son. When dad doesn't have his son, maternal grandmother does. Maternal grandmother also has my nephews older sister living with her although not by court order.

Maternal grandmother's husband doesn't want all these kids in his house, but when he tells my nephew he needs to go home to mom, he does not want to go. His dad usually takes him home with him.

There is so much more to the story than this but I'm trying to be brief. In essence, my mother (paternal grandmother) wants to obtain custody of my nephew in order to give him a more stable life. Maternal grandmother is all for this but says it's up to the childs' mom (which legally it is). But mom won't want to give up the cs even though it has been months since she's even seen my nephew. At one point my nephew stayed with his dad for 6 months with absolutely no contact from mom. I tried to get my brother to file for visitation as a first step to obtaining custody but it's like getting blood from a turnip to get him to make the first move. He is also agreeable to my mom having custody.

What does my mom need to do to prove it is in the best interest of the child for her to have custody? My mom lives in PA.What is the name of your state?

I'll try to simplify what LdiJ posted: Parents have a Constitutional Right to Parent their children. If a parent (Mom) is unfit, then that must be proven in court & custody changed to the other parent (Dad). Even then, that does not Terminate Mom's Parental Rights...and she would still have the option for visitation (albeit probably with restrictions such as drug classes/testing &/or Parenting Classes &/or Supervised visitation, etc.)

And none of the above means a court would allow the child to be removed from the state of BOTH of his parents.

Without an attorney it's virtually impossible~ and with an attorney it's a longshot.

If Dad has continuing contact with the child, WHY would he agree for the child to be removed from the state & from BOTH of his parents' lives?

 

[mskad]

Sorry for the delay in answering questions but I was at work all day and don't have the luxury of internet in my car.

The reason dad doesn't want to file for custody right now is because he doesn't want to rock the boat, so to speak. He would rather pay the cs even though he has his son the majority of the time. He's afraid that if he files for custody, she will keep their son from him and then only Lord knows what will happen to him.

He would be agreeable to my mom having custody because that will give him an opportunity to get a better job. Right now he's only working side jobs, enough to pay the cs. The area where he lives is very depressed economically, and getting a good job means travelling out of state, which he has done before. If he leaves now he will be worried to death about his son, where will he be, who is caring for him, etc. Before it wasn't a big deal because my nephew stayed with my mom a lot when she still lived in WV. If my mom gets custody or some form of guardianship at least my brother will know exactly where his son is and won't have to worry about him.

If my brother has a better chance at getting custody, how would it look to a judge that he does not have a steady job? Won't the judge question how he will support his son?

The mother does not physically abuse her children but she does neglect them. I hate to put it out this way, but do we have to wait until she's either busted by the police or she OD's on drugs for my brother to get custody?

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry for the delay in answering questions but I was at work all day and don't have the luxury of internet in my car.

The reason dad doesn't want to file for custody right now is because he doesn't want to rock the boat, so to speak. He would rather pay the cs even though he has his son the majority of the time. He's afraid that if he files for custody, she will keep their son from him and then only Lord knows what will happen to him.

He would be agreeable to my mom having custody because that will give him an opportunity to get a better job. Right now he's only working side jobs, enough to pay the cs. The area where he lives is very depressed economically, and getting a good job means travelling out of state, which he has done before. If he leaves now he will be worried to death about his son, where will he be, who is caring for him, etc. Before it wasn't a big deal because my nephew stayed with my mom a lot when she still lived in WV. If my mom gets custody or some form of guardianship at least my brother will know exactly where his son is and won't have to worry about him.

If my brother has a better chance at getting custody, how would it look to a judge that he does not have a steady job? Won't the judge question how he will support his son?

The mother does not physically abuse her children but she does neglect them. I hate to put it out this way, but do we have to wait until she's either busted by the police or she OD's on drugs for my brother to get custody?

Yeah, that's pretty much what has to happen. You have to be able to prove your accusations. The judge isn't going to take your word for it that mom's on drugs. The judge won't even order drug testing without some sort of outside evidence.

Your mother has absolutely no standing whatsoever to file for custody or visitation....since your brother is alive and well and is a decent parent.

 

[mskad]

Yeah, that's pretty much what has to happen. You have to be able to prove your accusations. The judge isn't going to take your word for it that mom's on drugs. The judge won't even order drug testing without some sort of outside evidence.

The judge can take one look at her and know. She's a walking posterboard for meth use.

There was an incident a couple of months ago where the mom's youngest child was found walking the streets and neighbors called the cops. My brother was ready to file for emergency custody and wouldn't you know it...the place where he needed to file was closed because they only have staff in the office a couple of days a week. She said her son got out while she was asleep ( that's about the only other thing she does), so the cops let it go.

But, say my brother would file for custody...how would the fact that he doesn't have a steady job affect his chances? What could he or should he do to get custody?

 

[casa]

The judge can take one look at her and know. She's a walking posterboard for meth use.

There was an incident a couple of months ago where the mom's youngest child was found walking the streets and neighbors called the cops. My brother was ready to file for emergency custody and wouldn't you know it...the place where he needed to file was closed because they only have staff in the office a couple of days a week. She said her son got out while she was asleep ( that's about the only other thing she does), so the cops let it go.

But, say my brother would file for custody...how would the fact that he doesn't have a steady job affect his chances? What could he or should he do to get custody?

Get a copy of the police report- it's public record. He'll have to pay a fee.
He should do that any/every time an incident such as that occurs ~ or any other which are relevant (ie;if Mom appears under the influence, etc.). THEN he can file for Emergency Custody and take the police report(s) with him. She'll have to appear to defend herself & the judge will get the visual impact of her appearance. Dad will need testimony from others (family, friends, neighbors, teachers,etc.) It's a job...but his child's life is worth it, isn't it?

Re;the job situation~ He's paying his CS...that's what the court looks at. Not whether he is in between jobs. He's paying his CS & there's no reason to believe he won't continue to do so.

Your other family or friends should be his support system & help out if/when he needs to go out of town for work, etc. He should figure out BEFORE court where HE will have his child if/when he is working or gone.

He can't just say "Well, she's not really fit". If he truly believes that, then he needs to put the work into remedying the situation for his son's sake.