Hello...

[Jenifa]

Hi...

I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I used to read the boards very frequently, and comment here and there. I missed
being online for a LONG time, as I had a bambina, started school, and fought for custody of my stepdaughter... p.s. - I've been busy, but it's been a constructive busy....we FINALLY got custody of my stepdaughter, and now the drama begins to get soap opera-ish.

My husband had to petition the county (Richmond County) that my SD lived in for custody. Child support had been ordered in our county (Orange County -NEW YORK) previously, and when my husband went to court in Richmond, he asked the judge if he could terminate the support order from Orange County. The judge said that my husband would have to go back to Orange County court to petition for the child support to be terminated. So, off he went to the Orange County court building, to petition for termination of the support order due to the chance of circumstance that he now has custody of the child. The custody papers are dated 8/3. He went on the following Monday to petition for termination, and now there is a date set for 11/1, to hear the pleas to terminate the existing support order. Aren't the two orders now in conflict of each other? The support order says the support is for his child, not for his ex... He now has legal custody of her, so there is no child in the mother's house who he is legally bound to support being that she is with him. Is this correct? When he goes to court, can they actually order him to continue to pay support to her even though he has custody now?

Off the last subject...

The mother is a real "winner" (and I mean that with every ounce of sarcasm I could muster). When everything came down, she told my husband that she wants nothing to do with my SD anymore. Since then, she has called maybe two times. (the child has been with us since the end of June), and it is honestly better for the child that she not talk to the woman, because the woman does nothing but upset her, calling her a rat, and trying to make the child feel guilty for crying out for help from her father and me.
When she first said that she wanted nothing to do with my SD anymore, my SD asked me if I would adopt her. I said I'd be honored if that's what she really wanted. We've yet to discuss anything, because we've been getting her settled in here. If I want to adopt her, and she wants me to adopt her, will they (courts)seriously consider terminating all the mother's parental rights, if the mother stops calling, pays no support, and makes no attempts to see the child? Also would they take into consideration that there is a woman, who has been "like a mother" to the child since the child was 4, who is now caring for the child and is willing to take on all parental responsibility of the child?

IAAL, I know, at least when I was frequently around, you swore off responding to stepmothers, given your experience with giving help to some of them, then having your head bitten off for stating the laws, but I sincerely value your opinion and knowledge, and would never even dream of it.

thanks, and I really miss you all...

Jenifa

 

[Grandma B]

Hi Jenifa! You have been gone a LONG time. We've missed you too.

I'm responding mainly to get your post back to the top in hopes that St. IAAL soon will be here. He's getting on in years you know, but I think your name will catch his eye--it did mine.

 

[Yas]

Hey no-one answered this one! I would be interested to see an answer!

 

[MySonsMom]

Jenifa,

Nice to see you back and well.

Would the bio Mom consent to this adoption? If not, it may be a time consuming process. (which may never end up in an adoption)

MSM

 

[PewterPower]

This is how I understand the Laws to be in Florida... May differ a little in New York...
As for child support, actually, the Custodial parent (your husband) is considered the obligee. Therefore, if he has filed and recieved custody of the child, he can actually force the ncp (the Mother) to pay HIM child support. Even if she signs away her rights, but not if you adopt the child. Your adoption would relieve the Mother's obligation. If she has not seen or visited the child and has shown no effort to do so, he can be awarded "sole custody" making it much easier for you to adopt the child. Usually, when custody is awarded, it is considered "Joint custody" by default. "Sole Custody" must be specifically established. Once it is, I think you can go after her rights to the child based on her lack of interest. A bit of gray area here since the courts are very interested in maintaining the relationship between the parents and the child.

 

[hound dog]

The way i understand the law is your husband will be held reliable for child support up until the date of the custody change.After that he no longer has to pay. I wouldn't b/c the chances of her giving any support back is very slim....So good luck!!! Anyway that is taking money away from you and the children and giving it to her....