Help Needed

[sofrustrated]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

Informed ex September 9 that I would be enrolling son in drivers ed and that there would be some parenting time interferences when he starts. Explained at that time to the best of my ability. Enrolled son in drivers ed today and paid for the class. $300.00.

Told ex he was enrolled and informed that would interfere with his midweeks and his alternating weekend he normally picks kids up at 6:00 son has drivers ed at 7:00.

Current court order states that I can enroll kids in extracurricular activities and that dad is urged to participate. In event activities interfer with his time he is allowed extended time on his alternate Sundays until 8:00pm.

I agreed to him keeping kids until 9:00pm on his Sundays and he is unwilling to cooperate with me because he wants to keep them until 9:30pm.

Claims that I must now pick son up 1/2 hr away drive him to drivers ed, and return son to him after drivers ed if I want him to be able to attend.

Any suggestions as I believe I may be taking this to an attorney in the morning.

 

[haiku]

umm....if you agree to 9:30 on sunday, he will give up the midweek visits for now?

is it really worth it to argue and go to court over a half hour?

 

[sofrustrated]

He won't give up midweeks, he will get make up time. However court order already states:
In the event that activities interfer with fathers parenting time that he is allowed extended time on his alternate Sunday not to extend beyond 8:00pm and I already agreed to 9:00pm.

I have tried to accomodate him. He is not accomadating here.

If it isn't his way its no way.

 

[stepmom&mom]

So give him until 9:30.

Problem solved!

 

[sofrustrated]

I think compromising from 8:00 to 9:00 is quite fair, he isn't compromising here. I always allow his make up time. It is a matter of giving him everything he wants or nothing is agreed upon and I don't feel I should have to kiss his behind all the time. That is why there is a court order in place and I think maybe it needs to be alittle more specific.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Technically, your court order doesn't say he HAS to compromise or give up his parenting time for extracurricular activities. However, he is willing to agree to it if you give him until 9:30 on Sunday nights.

It sounds to me like you are being the uncompromising one. You're already demanding that he give up his one day a week for this. Just put yourself in his shoes. If you had as little time with your children as he did, wouldn't every hour be important to you?

 

[sofrustrated]

Wrong, he isn't giving up anytime as he will get 16 hrs of time that he may lose over the 3 entire weeks of drivers ed as makeup time on his alternate Sundays. I don't se ewhere he is losing anything here and no I am not be uncompromising, I am being a GOOD PARENT. I shouldn't have to bend over backwards for him.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Technically, your court order doesn't say he HAS to compromise or give up his parenting time for extracurricular activities. Read it again. (QUOTE)Current court order states that I can enroll kids in extracurricular activities and that dad is urged to participate. In event activities interfer with his time he is allowed extended time on his alternate Sundays until 8:00pm.(QUOTE)




It sounds to me like you are being the uncompromising one. It sounds to me like she is the one compromising. Sunday's are school nights, and she has agreed to an extension as it is.


You're already demanding that he give up his one day a week for this. For what? Drivers Education? I wouldn't call this a brownie troop meeting.

Just put yourself in his shoes. If you had as little time with your children as he did, wouldn't every hour be important to you? It is drivers education. Am I the only one getting this?

 

[stepmom&mom]

But you should bend over backwards for your children. Does requiring him to return your child at 9:00 instead of 9:30 somehow make you a better parent?

You were the one that said it's only going to be for 3 weeks, so what's the big deal over an hour and a half?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

But you should bend over backwards for your children. Does requiring him to return your child at 9:00 instead of 9:30 somehow make you a better parent?

You were the one that said it's only going to be for 3 weeks, so what's the big deal over an hour and a half?

School in the morning?

 

[haiku]

Wrong, he isn't giving up anytime as he will get 16 hrs of time that he may lose over the 3 entire weeks of drivers ed as makeup time on his alternate Sundays. I don't se ewhere he is losing anything here and no I am not be uncompromising, I am being a GOOD PARENT. I shouldn't have to bend over backwards for him.

i don't see where PARENTING has anything to do with this.

its a half hour. There is really not much you can do in the space of a half hour. Personally it would not be worth the argument to me. I would 'give" it to him, and then I would "file" the information away later to use as a bargaining tool for a bigger issue that may come up in the future, but thats about it. ("well I gave you that half hour when the kid was in drivers ed, so now I would like it if you could such and such at this time....etc...")

 

[haiku]

School in the morning?

somehow 9 or 9;30 for a fifteen year old would be rather a non issue in my book.....

 

[stepmom&mom]

Technically, your court order doesn't say he HAS to compromise or give up his parenting time for extracurricular activities. Read it again. (QUOTE)Current court order states that I can enroll kids in extracurricular activities and that dad is urged to participate. In event activities interfer with his time he is allowed extended time on his alternate Sundays until 8:00pm.(QUOTE)




It sounds to me like you are being the uncompromising one. It sounds to me like she is the one compromising. Sunday's are school nights, and she has agreed to an extension as it is.


You're already demanding that he give up his one day a week for this. For what? Drivers Education? I wouldn't call this a brownie troop meeting.

Just put yourself in his shoes. If you had as little time with your children as he did, wouldn't every hour be important to you? It is drivers education. Am I the only one getting this?

All I am saying is that she is asking him to change his schedule around and give up his normal weekday visitation during that time period. Do all driver's ed programs in their town only have training on that one day a week that his visitation happens to fall on? Besides, I know very few high school kids who are in bed asleep by 9:00pm. It might be different if we were talking about an elementary kid.

 

[sofrustrated]

haiku, there is no bargaining with this man, I have allowed him to switch weekends because whatever reason he needed the kids etc. He had halloween party last year, gave him kids for that weekend, nothing works unless it is his way. That is why I hate to budge anymore than I have. I agree to one thing he wants more. It needs to stop.

I agree that the ncp's time is limited, but I don't have a probem with makeup time. Just not that late on school night. Yes I have allowed kids out later on certain occassions but this isn't necessary. He is just being unreasonable.

 

[sofrustrated]

All I am saying is that she is asking him to change his schedule around and give up his normal weekday visitation during that time period. Do all driver's ed programs in their town only have training on that one day a week that his visitation happens to fall on? Besides, I know very few high school kids who are in bed asleep by 9:00pm. It might be different if we were talking about an elementary kid.

I am not asking him to change his schedule at all. He is going to get make up time for one and another thing. The drivers ed class is Monday through Friday form 7:15 to 9:15 for 3 weeks. Plus there is an additional driving time a few days a week from 4:00 till 7:15.
My kids are in bed by 10:00pm almost every night. No they aren't elementary kids either they are in high school. Teenagers require 9 hours of sleep a night or that is what is suggested.