Help - no good ex-husband taking everything I have

[igotquestions52]

I don't understand why you don't rely upon your attorney's information and advice. What does s/he say about your question, given his/her knowledge of the local courts and judges and having read your decree?

My attorney suggested that we should review interrogatories before deciding what or how we should or should not continue. I was hoping to get some extra opinions etc.

That's up to the judge, these things aren't automatic. My guess would be no he doesn't meet the legal definition of cohabitating, you will continue to pay alimony.

I'm amused to hear such language from a woman. When there are enough of you, maybe the cohabitating issue will be more black and white and with teeth than it is now.

But he did meet the legal definition... I can't help it that he moved his girl friend into a cheap apartment till in his words "till finances improve". at which time I'm sure he will move her back! I mean, com'on..

I can't believe how sexist these issues become just because I'm a woman paying a man alimony, it's pathetic. I worked hard to become what I am and I shouldn't have to take #### from some man that was controlling, abusive, insensitive for over 20 years then turns around and threatens to take everything I have for wanting to get away from him!

I'll pack up and move to Africa or Thailand before I let this loser ruin me.

 

[Silverplum]

My attorney suggested that we should review interrogatories before deciding what or how we should or should not continue. I was hoping to get some extra opinions etc.

But he did meet the legal definition... I can't help it that he moved his girl friend into a cheap apartment till in his words "till finances improve". at which time I'm sure he will move her back! I mean, com'on..

I can't believe how sexist these issues become just because I'm a woman paying a man alimony, it's pathetic. I worked hard to become what I am and I shouldn't have to take #### from some man that was controlling, abusive, insensitive for over 20 years then turns around and threatens to take everything I have for wanting to get away from him!

I'll pack up and move to Africa or Thailand before I let this loser ruin me.

IMHO, that sounds worse.

 

[Bali Hai]

My attorney suggested that we should review interrogatories before deciding what or how we should or should not continue. I was hoping to get some extra opinions etc.



But he did meet the legal definition... I can't help it that he moved his girl friend into a cheap apartment till in his words "till finances improve". at which time I'm sure he will move her back! I mean, com'on..

That's what people do to keep the alimony rolling in.

I can't believe how sexist these issues become just because I'm a woman paying a man alimony, it's pathetic.

There was a time when only women could get an alimony order, but the USSC overruled the states and declared that unconstitutional some time ago.

I worked hard to become what I am and I shouldn't have to take #### from some man that was controlling, abusive, insensitive for over 20 years then turns around and threatens to take everything I have for wanting to get away from him!

I empathize with you, but, the law is the law.

I'll pack up and move to Africa or Thailand before I let this loser ruin me.

Pick Thailand, it's not far from Bali and we can meet up at the Hard Rock Hotel on Kuta Beach, look northeast and give our ex's the finger.

 

[tuffbrk]

Cohabitation is not simply just living together. Nothing you have posted indicates that he is financially dependent upon GF.

The "evidence" you mentioned appears to be mostly obtained through illegal means and will not be able to be used. I note that you have not responded with regard to the marital home you entered in a sneaky manner. Is it still his asset, is he paying a mortgage on it, etc.

Please define "several month" and please advise the length of his cohabitation with GF.

I wonder why your credibility with the court needs to be improved upon..

 

[igotquestions52]

Pick Thailand, it's not far from Bali and we can meet up at the Hard Rock Hotel on Kuta Beach, look northeast and give our ex's the finger.

My father moved there during the 80's and tough English at a local college and also did privet tutoring. It's lovely there

Cohabitation is not simply just living together.

yes, I know.

Nothing you have posted indicates that he is financially dependent upon GF.

yes, yes I have.

The "evidence" you mentioned appears to be mostly obtained through illegal means and will not be able to be used.

Firstly, The information I have is not being used but reather to point us in the direction where to look.. com'on I had enough access granted by him to let me investigate. Secondly, lets use another word instead of "evidence" how about.. smoking gun? sound better?

I know the "smoking gun" is in his financial records, That the reason for the interrogatories... anyways..

I have an attorney, The attorney knows we have a case. the only problem is that my ex had his GF move out the day he was served till things settle down.. anyways a Admin can delete this thread now. thankyou

 

[tuffbrk]

As a woman paying alimony, I would greatly appreciate you posting again after court. I would love to hear how it goes.

I have serious doubts about your chances but the information provided was sketchy and presuming that your attorney is on the up and up...who knows? Judges have so much latitude with alimony anything can happen.

I certainly wish you the very best of luck.

 

[Bali Hai]

My father moved there during the 80's and tough English at a local college and also did privet tutoring. It's lovely there

In Denpasar? Yes it is lovely, see you there.

 

[ecmst12]

You still haven't posted the exact wording of your order, as requested. So no one here can comment about whether you meet the requirements to end it. Your attorney, however, has seen the order, so is best able to advise you on the matter.

Cohabitation has nothing to do with being financially DEPENDENT on the other party. A cohabiting couple is sharing the financial burden, one is not necessarily dependent on the other but they both gain an advantage from the arrangement. Not sure why dependency was even mentioned.

 

[stealth2]

My father moved there during the 80's and tough English at a local college and also did privet tutoring. It's lovely there

Too bad he didn't teach it to you well.

 

[tuffbrk]

"Cohabitation has nothing to do with being financially DEPENDENT on the other party. A cohabiting couple is sharing the financial burden, one is not necessarily dependent on the other but they both gain an advantage from the arrangement. Not sure why dependency was even mentioned."

Two people can move in together, split rent, utilities and food costs. That "economy of scale," if you will, is defined as a room mate and can be gained by living with another party whether or not there is a husband and wife type of relationship.

The court places a somewhat difficult burden of proof on the party citing cohabitation in order to terminate alimony. You need to prove that the ex has gained an economic advantage over and above the economy of scale or there is not a valid change of circumstances to terminate the alimony.

 

[igotquestions52]

@ ecmst12 - Yes, It can be changed.. and that is not my question.

@tuffbrk - The purpose of starting this thread was NOT to debate on how and what I need to prove my case, I'm going to prove my case that he was in a supportive relationship and that is for sure,

My question was that If he moved her into a cheap apartment about two or three days after he was served intending to move her back in after the whole thing settles down do you believe a judge would see through his attempt to fudge the system? Will it look bad on his part?

It seems that in the eyes of the law if he is not with anybody at the time he comes to court there is no case when he clearly was!. It pisses me off that the system would work this way.

 

[eerelations]

Too bad he didn't teach it to you well.

Yeah, really, OP's spelling and grammar are absolutely appalling! I've been having trouble figuring out what she's actually saying (her father tutored hedges? really? )...no wonder she's not getting the answers she wants, no one can understand the questions.

 

[Bali Hai]

@ ecmst12 - Yes, It can be changed.. and that is not my question.

@tuffbrk - The purpose of starting this thread was NOT to debate on how and what I need to prove my case, I'm going to prove my case that he was in a supportive relationship and that is for sure,

My question was that If he moved her into a cheap apartment about two or three days after he was served intending to move her back in after the whole thing settles down do you believe a judge would see through his attempt to fudge the system? Will it look bad on his part?

It seems that in the eyes of the law if he is not with anybody at the time he comes to court there is no case when he clearly was!. It pisses me off that the system would work this way.

The judge will decide your case, nobody here has access to everything the judge will be presented with. And even if they did, nobody knows for sure how the judge would rule. If you had two judges, you may very well get opposite rulings.

These games are played all the time by alimony receipients and it's very hard to nail them. For instance, in my case, not only does the ex have to be in a supportive relationship, (which she is) she and the person she is living with have to openly present themselves as husband and wife.

I've given up on ever getting my alimony terminated. In fact, I'm scared as hell that if she screws up with this guy, she'll take me back to court to get more. It distresses me greatly that the system works this way too!!

 

[igotquestions52]

@eerelations - I clarified the question again in the post just before yours, lol. and im sure my grammar isnt that bad, lol. maybe you should work on your comprehensions? , lol. i dont care if random grammar xxx on the internet likes mine or not and if you must know my hand writing is absolutely appalling too, lol.

now dont it just erk you to know that my grammar is horrible but yet im a doctor and make tones more money, karma is a bitch

@Bali Hai - I feel your pain.. HEY, lets move out of the country and meet up in Thiland, lol. first round of drinks on me! the system really is broken. i hope you find an solution, I will pray for you *shakes fists at greedy ex's*

 

[stealth2]

@eerelations - I clarified the question again in the post just before yours, lol. and im sure my grammar isnt that bad, lol. maybe you should work on your comprehensions? , lol. i dont care if random grammar xx on the internet likes mine or not and if you must know my hand writing is absolutely appalling too, lol.

now dont it just erk you to know that my grammar is horrible but yet im a doctor and make tones more money, karma is a *****

@Bali Hai - I feel your pain.. HEY, lets move out of the country and meet up in Thiland, lol. first round of drinks on me! the system really is broken. i hope you find an solution, I will pray for you *shakes fists at greedy ex's*

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