He's Gone Off Gambling Again, I want OUT!

[Michigan Lady]

What is the name of your state? Michigan. Went out yesterday, came home, and husband had moved out. I don't know where he is, but he has probably left the state. He has a SEVERE GAMBLING problem, and has probably gone to try and find his fortune. Creditors have been calling my home daily in Az., as he owes several credit card companies. How he even got any more credit cards issues to him is beyond me, because he went bankrupt in 1997. I am not on them, and never signed to obtain any of them. I inherited quite an estate in 1997, 2 houses in Az. (completely paid for), 6 cars, and cash, after both of my parents died that year. We also own a home in Mich., both names on it, with a mortgage owing of $55,000.00. I have paid all bills & maintenance on Az. houses since I inherited them, and all bills & maintenance on Mich. home since Dec. 2001, when we went to Az. and my 29 yr. old son, from a previous marriage stayed in Mi. house to watch over and take care of things, (he refuses to pay anything as long as he's here). I came back to Mich. in Feb. 2002 and worked until Nov. 2002, when I quit my job of 26 yrs. to "move" there, as we decided to start over there. WRONG THING TO DO! I came back to Mich. in June of this yr., he returned this Sept., as house in Mi. had maintenance issues to deal with in event of it's sale . I have paid for all of those too. I figure that I have dropped around $35,000.00 in Mi. house since 2001, with bills and maintenance costs. I've had it with the lying, cheating (I can prove that too), gambling, and his GROSS MISHANDLING of his expenses! He's on at least 24 different online poker sites, in addition to live casino action whenever he chooses. He must be winning somewhere, as he has no access to my money, and is able to go on these casino trips. My dilemma is whether to file divorce in Mi. (I have always maintained this as main residency state), and risk him getting part of my inheritance, or to return to Az. (community property state), stay required time and file there where my inheritance is safe, but I can end up stuck with half of his debts, and can be sued to the hilt if he has an accident somewhere, in addition to the possibility of maybe having to pay alimony?. He has nothing of real value except his portion of house in Mi. I am wondering if his gambling, work record (he's maybe worked 6 of the 13 yrs. we have been married due to layoff and back trouble), and cheating (I have proof) will have any bearing on the property settlement. I don't feel he is entitled to half the equity in Mi. home, as he stopped paying in 2001, and I have had to support him for yrs., including paying his medical insurance. I have all receipts to back this up. He will not look for a job, tells everyone that he is a professional gambler, and is retired at age 46. I have a 401k that was started before I married him which he knows nothing of, he never started one but could have with previous employer. We have no children together, and I have never comingled monies with him. I have decided to go back to Az., to move back, and sell houses. My cash is getting low, I have to go back to work, and can no longer stand the strain of this situation. I would like to know if I can sue credit card companies in the event I end up owing half of those bills, as I do not believe they checked out his work record and bankrupcy before issuing him cards?. Since he is missing in action, how can he be served for divorce in person, and how long do I have to "look" for him to do this?. This sucks!!!

 

[bulldogg70]

Az is really great, I know Maricopa system very nicely. Anyway, I would go for what would secure my long time security the most. It appears Az would cover that issue for you.

 

[Michigan Lady]

Thanks for responding bullgogg, but i'm in Pima county there, and still kinda scares me that I can end up owing half of his gambling debts in addition to possibly having to pay him alimony so he can continue to gamble around the country, any thoughts? Do you know if Az. would consider "economic misconduct" a factor in debts and alimony? I believe that from what I've read, a guilty factor of those things has no bearing on debts and alimony. Thanks again for any input!!!!

 

[bulldogg70]

The courts can look at it in different ways. I can see where he Abandon you and ran up debts which you had no control over or an ability to intervene because of lack of knowledge of his whereabouts. This would be an activist position but by doing this it could severe the possibility, I would need more details. However, if you attempt to serve him when you are in AZ, and he is unserviceable you can move for a default hearing. This hearing would clearly provide an opportunity for you to keep you assets and reduce your obligation to his debts

 

[Michigan Lady]

Thank you once again for your insight bulldogg!. It seems no matter what state I end up filing in, there is going to be huge issues. My main concern is being able to prove there is gross "economic misconduct" on his part. I really feel it is unfair for me to end up having to pay half of his gambling debts. My understanding is that Az. courts don't care whose fault the debts are, they'll just split them, and that "economic misconduct" or any other fault factor won't even figure in this. In the event that would happen I'd like to find out if I can sue credit card co.'s for being lax in issueing him cards without properly checking his work and credit history out, or even if he was married for that fact. If state of Az. courts are gonna hold me half liable, it seems to me, I would have had to be proxy to their issuance and would have had to sign to obtain them. That should be changed in Az. divorce laws. A nationwide law with credit card co.'s should be put in effect to recognize this and then perhaps we'd have less debt and less deadbeats like my husband going bankrupt!