Holiday and FROR

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

k, hubby has a new order as of last month. He has allowed his ex to have primary custody with him having visitation to go by the Indiana guidelines (with a few provisions) as well as a detailed FROR.

Technically Memorial Day weekend would be his normally scheduled weekend... however, it will be mom's this year. I'm in the process of drawing up a calendar for all of this. Seeing as holiday's override regular visitation he would take the following weekend. However, that might not be the issue. It seems that mom is planning a vacation with just her boyfriend for that weekend. By the order of FROR because this will be out of state she will be required to offer that time to husband.. which of course he will take. But, by the guidelines (as well as if things would have not changed from 50/50) the 4th of July Holiday is his. Would he be required in any way to 'trade' her holidays if she chooses to take vacation without the child on one of her holidays? The way I read the guidelines technically he would even be allowed another weekend considering FROR is EXTRA time but since it would land on his regular weekend he probably wouldn't do that but I truly see her attempting to say that if he takes her Memorial weekend (that she wouldn't spend with child anyway) she would get the 4th of July.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

k, hubby has a new order as of last month. He has allowed his ex to have primary custody with him having visitation to go by the Indiana guidelines (with a few provisions) as well as a detailed FROR.

Technically Memorial Day weekend would be his normally scheduled weekend... however, it will be mom's this year. I'm in the process of drawing up a calendar for all of this. Seeing as holiday's override regular visitation he would take the following weekend.

Umm he doesn't get the following weekend because Memorial Day is mom's holiday. That is NOT the way it works unless your plan states that if mom's holiday falls on dad's weekend that dad gets the following weekend as his normal weekend. He just misses that time.

However, that might not be the issue. It seems that mom is planning a vacation with just her boyfriend for that weekend. By the order of FROR because this will be out of state she will be required to offer that time to husband.. which of course he will take.

Okay. So he gets the time by FROR.

But, by the guidelines (as well as if things would have not changed from 50/50) the 4th of July Holiday is his. Would he be required in any way to 'trade' her holidays if she chooses to take vacation without the child on one of her holidays?

Nope. She loses the time.

The way I read the guidelines technically he would even be allowed another weekend considering FROR is EXTRA time but since it would land on his regular weekend he probably wouldn't do that but I truly see her attempting to say that if he takes her Memorial weekend (that she wouldn't spend with child anyway) she would get the 4th of July.

Why do you think he would get ANOTHER weekend -- does his order call for him to get makeup time when mom's holiday falls on his weekend? If not then that time is just gone in the ether.

 

[LdiJ]

The way that the Indiana parenting time guidelines read, is that any time a holiday weekend causes a parent to get two weekends or more, in a row, that the other parent automatically gets the weekend following the holiday, and the rotation starts over from there.

Many parents agree to disregard that particular provision, because they prefer to keep the rotation consistant, but that is the way that the guidelines read.

If she chooses not to exercise a holiday, then no, he isn't required to trade holidays with her. However, if she asks to trade, and he doesn't, then she likely won't trade with him if the situation ever arises for him.

 

[tigger22472]

Why do you think he would get ANOTHER weekend -- does his order call for him to get makeup time when mom's holiday falls on his weekend? If not then that time is just gone in the ether.

I had discussed this with others that go by the guidelines and I just re-read them to clarify... I had been told by others that follow those guidelines that the judge told them this.. but if we read by the guidelines ("If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent’s holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.(I believe that is a mess up and should say weekend, not holiday) If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent.")

However, looking over things I'm not sure that will be the issue or not... Mother's Day actually falls 2 weeks prior... again a dad weekend... so he would get the following weekend instead, if I read the guidelines correctly... making Memorial Day not his weekend (although must be offered if she is out of town through FROR). Then it seems that it would again need to be modified because unless she allows him to maintain his regular schedule (that helps as it would fall with Father's Day weekend) then because he would have 2 weekends in a row she would get the following one..

Guess he and I have to settle in and buckle down with the calendar because those two months are going to be confusing. In the end it may all end up being moot anyways because mom will be working and child likely here anyway...I need some Calgon!!

 

[bononos again]

I had discussed this with others that go by the guidelines and I just re-read them to clarify... I had been told by others that follow those guidelines that the judge told them this.. but if we read by the guidelines ("If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent’s holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.(I believe that is a mess up and should say weekend, not holiday) If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent.")

However, looking over things I'm not sure that will be the issue or not... Mother's Day actually falls 2 weeks prior... again a dad weekend... so he would get the following weekend instead, if I read the guidelines correctly... making Memorial Day not his weekend (although must be offered if she is out of town through FROR). Then it seems that it would again need to be modified because unless she allows him to maintain his regular schedule (that helps as it would fall with Father's Day weekend) then because he would have 2 weekends in a row she would get the following one..

Guess he and I have to settle in and buckle down with the calendar because those two months are going to be confusing. In the end it may all end up being moot anyways because mom will be working and child likely here anyway...I need some Calgon!!

Don't get so involved that you need the Calgon. (Do they still make that stuff?)
Let them work this out. That step involvement can cause more problems than the confusing schedule. It's a good idea to make the calander, but be sure he approaches her with it as if he did it, not you.

 

[angeleyzad]

another thought

I had discussed this with others that go by the guidelines and I just re-read them to clarify... I had been told by others that follow those guidelines that the judge told them this.. but if we read by the guidelines ("If the non-custodial parent misses a regular weekend because it is the custodial parent’s holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume following the holiday.(I believe that is a mess up and should say weekend, not holiday) If the non-custodial parent receives two consecutive weekends because of a holiday, the regular alternating parenting time schedule will resume the following weekend with the custodial parent.")

However, looking over things I'm not sure that will be the issue or not... Mother's Day actually falls 2 weeks prior... again a dad weekend... so he would get the following weekend instead, if I read the guidelines correctly... making Memorial Day not his weekend (although must be offered if she is out of town through FROR). Then it seems that it would again need to be modified because unless she allows him to maintain his regular schedule (that helps as it would fall with Father's Day weekend) then because he would have 2 weekends in a row she would get the following one..

Guess he and I have to settle in and buckle down with the calendar because those two months are going to be confusing. In the end it may all end up being moot anyways because mom will be working and child likely here anyway...I need some Calgon!!

Here's something else to look at - the FROR is a separate provision than the holiday and weekend schedule. According to what you said with the state guidelines, the changing weekends after having two weekends in a row only comes into effect if a holiday is involved (see bolded parts). It seems to me that the weekend schedule would only change if the father had a "holiday weekend" following his regular weekend (hense Mom misses her weekend), then the schedule would change to give Mom the next weekend (which would have been dad's weekend), and the weekend schedule continues on the swapped schedule. Same thing if it was Dad's weekend, Mom had her weekend, then the holiday weekend, then the schedule would switch and Dad would get the next weekend.

The holiday weekend is still technically Mom's holiday - the FROR is a separate provision that gives Dad (in this case) basically a "babysitting" time (to diferentiate it from his regular time with kiddo) From what I see, extra time gained by a FROR would not change the schedule, and would not cause mom to have any "make-up time" unless in the provision for FROR it calls for that.

 

[Ohiogal]

Here's something else to look at - the FROR is a separate provision than the holiday and weekend schedule. According to what you said with the state guidelines, the changing weekends after having two weekends in a row only comes into effect if a holiday is involved (see bolded parts). It seems to me that the weekend schedule would only change if the father had a "holiday weekend" following his regular weekend (hense Mom misses her weekend), then the schedule would change to give Mom the next weekend (which would have been dad's weekend), and the weekend schedule continues on the swapped schedule. Same thing if it was Dad's weekend, Mom had her weekend, then the holiday weekend, then the schedule would switch and Dad would get the next weekend.

The holiday weekend is still technically Mom's holiday - the FROR is a separate provision that gives Dad (in this case) basically a "babysitting" time (to diferentiate it from his regular time with kiddo) From what I see, extra time gained by a FROR would not change the schedule, and would not cause mom to have any "make-up time" unless in the provision for FROR it calls for that.

I agree with this and thank you Ldij and Tigger for explaining the Indiana guidelines. That is odd but if that is the way it works then so be it.