how do we have wait if the other parent doesn't show

[wichitafalls1]

What is the name of your state? tx

right now we have the standard everyother weekend 6 on friday till 6 or 8 on sunday, and every thursday 6-8pm, the only thing different is their dad can't not keep them over night during the divorce proceeding because of a live in girl, which most of you know the story from other post. he doesn't get them on thursday, and on weekends when he does get them, he calls right before he wants to get them on that day not the day before or any waring, but he usually shows up an hour later than he says.

at first we waited and i keep the kids at the house for him to let us know something, we wouldn't even go get lunch or stuff like that on saturday in case we missed him. now i will let them play at friends in the neighborhood, but will not let them go anywhere.
(he did say one day he had to work, but i didn't know this, but he told me the day after, which is fine and understandable, but we didn't know this)

my question is how long do we have to wait around to hear from him? what should i expect, should he call the day before?

we go all week without knowing whats going on for the weekend.

 

[Ohiogal]

What does your court order say?

 

[mommyof4]

And do you contact him to find out what his plans are?

 

[wichitafalls1]

they don't say anything about waiting. yes, we do try and call him, he usually doesn't answer and calls back an hour or 2 later. my daughter gets tired of being the one to call him, and him not calling back or not calling at all. i have asked to call early enough to let us know something or so we can have everything together and ready for him, but he thought that was funny.

 

[penelope10]

they don't say anything about waiting. yes, we do try and call him, he usually doesn't answer and calls back an hour or 2 later. my daughter gets tired of being the one to call him, and him not calling back or not calling at all. i have asked to call early enough to let us know something or so we can have everything together and ready for him, but he thought that was funny.

Went through the same thing with my ex. Good news is with time this may get better. If you get tired of waiting call him and leave a nice message.."Hey ex, thought you'd be here at 12:00. Kids are hungry(or whatever). We are leaving to get food (or whatever). Give us a call and let us know what's gong on. Hope everything is ok." Then go about your business with the kiddos. (Of course take his call should he call back).....

Puts the monkey on his back without giving him the excuse to be angry. Also does some CYA for you too.

 

[fairisfair]

Personally, I would wait one hour and then be done with it. No way would I be calling or having the children call him.

Have the children ready, wait one hour, have a witness to you having the children available and then carry on with your life.

and I would be filing a motion to clarify the parenting time as well, that includes a time element for the pickup and that if he does not either pick up the children, or make alternative arrangements during that time, he forfeits that visitation.

 

[wichitafalls1]

thank you.

one more question does he have the right to bring the new girlfriend to my house (our family home) to pick up our kids?

he knows it upsets me, in our orginal papers he couldn't even get the kids in her presence.

she is the reason i filed, the first time he picked up the kids, 3-4 weeks after he moved out he took them to his new place he moved into and she was living there, he didn't have enough sense to have her and her daughter go somewhere for little while, to keep from confusing the kids, he was still saying he might come home or we would see what happens, i talked to my parents friend who is a lawyer on sunday and we filed tuesday, because he brought our kids into the trash. i believe another woman should be between me and him and the kids shouldn't know until the divorce is over that dad has a girlfriend, when he does get them its only when she has both of her kids, and they only do stuff with them instead of him and our kids.

 

[fairisfair]

thank you.

one more question does he have the right to bring the new girlfriend to my house (our family home) to pick up our kids?

he knows it upsets me, in our orginal papers he couldn't even get the kids in her presence.

she is the reason i filed, the first time he picked up the kids, 3-4 weeks after he moved out he took them to his new place he moved into and she was living there, he didn't have enough sense to have her and her daughter go somewhere for little while, to keep from confusing the kids, he was still saying he might come home or we would see what happens, i talked to my parents friend who is a lawyer on sunday and we filed tuesday, because he brought our kids into the trash. i believe another woman should be between me and him and the kids shouldn't know until the divorce is over that dad has a girlfriend, when he does get them its only when she has both of her kids, and they only do stuff with them instead of him and our kids.

yes, barring a court order, he has that right

It is rude, in poor taste, not fair to you or to the children, and he is an A$$ for doing it. but it is not illegal. And honestly, you already KNOW she is going to be there anyway, so what's the difference??

 

[penelope10]

thank you.

one more question does he have the right to bring the new girlfriend to my house (our family home) to pick up our kids?

he knows it upsets me, in our orginal papers he couldn't even get the kids in her presence.

she is the reason i filed, the first time he picked up the kids, 3-4 weeks after he moved out he took them to his new place he moved into and she was living there, he didn't have enough sense to have her and her daughter go somewhere for little while, to keep from confusing the kids, he was still saying he might come home or we would see what happens, i talked to my parents friend who is a lawyer on sunday and we filed tuesday, because he brought our kids into the trash. i believe another woman should be between me and him and the kids shouldn't know until the divorce is over that dad has a girlfriend, when he does get them its only when she has both of her kids, and they only do stuff with them instead of him and our kids.

Well, if she behaved I'd let it roll off my back like water to a duck's. (Now she's gonna be stuck with that great big old "Grand Prize)." What sweet, sweet, revenge!

 

[penelope10]

Personally, I would wait one hour and then be done with it. No way would I be calling or having the children call him.

Have the children ready, wait one hour, have a witness to you having the children available and then carry on with your life.

and I would be filing a motion to clarify the parenting time as well, that includes a time element for the pickup and that if he does not either pick up the children, or make alternative arrangements during that time, he forfeits that visitation.

Oh, drat. Why do you want to get into all that old LEGAL stuff?

 

[wichitafalls1]

that is my sweet revenge, she gets him.
i am a little better now that he did admit to our daughter she is not his cousin (you understand if you have read other post) my kids are not stupid and it hurt me more for them to think i was that stupid to believe she was his cousin than to know the truth, i think that is why i was so mad.

but i just need to be polite and have the kids ready and if he does not show and no call, let the kids have fun and live their lives.

i wish everyone here could meet my kids, their the type of people everyone wants to be one day, their the reason i breath in the morning and toss and turn at night, they are truely a gift from god. and i thank you all for your help keeping their mother sane.

 

[wichitafalls1]

one more question?

if he is suppose to get them for the weekend but he is only getting them on sunday, do we have to stay at home on saturday can we go somewhere friday if he doesn't show or do we have to wait an hour to see if he calls each day?

 

[LdiJ]

if he is suppose to get them for the weekend but he is only getting them on sunday, do we have to stay at home on saturday can we go somewhere friday if he doesn't show or do we have to wait an hour to see if he calls each day?

Technically, if there are no limitations in the order, then the entire weekend is his time and the kids should be available to him.

That however, does not mean that you cannot go about your day, and do whatever you want to do. It means that you have to make the kids available to him if he shows up.

Answering your phone when he calls so that you can tell him where he can pick up the kids...and/or leaving a note on the front door with that same information, is more than sufficient.

 

[wichitafalls1]

thank you.
my sister in-law also got my daughter a cell phone so he can reach her anytime.

i just want to do what is right. we have no temp order and no paper work except for my org. papers i filed with, which are the only thing that is signed by a judge. we were to go for our final today, but his lawyer had to reschedule. i just want to make sure the kids can see their dad whenever they want, with out loosing our lives in the same process and not letting him still have all the control.

 

[Mommy Of 3]

Well, if she behaved I'd let it roll off my back like water to a duck's. (Now she's gonna be stuck with that great big old "Grand Prize)." What sweet, sweet, revenge!

LOL! That's how I feel about my ex! His girlfriend is so insecure around me and won't let me talk to him on the phone or by text about our children and she gets angry. I assured her I had no intentions to steal him from her! I told her "Oh honey - no worries! He's ALL yours!".