How to handle filing for divorce

[Dadx2kids4n8]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of my state-California.
Okay hello to whomever is available and can give me some legal advice. Well, I need to file for divorce but I'm confused on 2 issue's-when I file it's basically give the paper work and pay the fee and then I'm supposed to serve the respondant. I did this divorce once before and screwed up by not serving that person. But this time, I have a different circumstance-we we're separated since last year after I lost my job she had work and wouldn't help with bills so I said you must go and she left. I had the kids she lived with dad for 6 months. Then she was asked to leave. And after 2 weeks at friends & woman shelter, kids asked me to let her stay temporarily. Well, this isn't working out 2 months now. I called my social worker and told her the problem and would let her know how my filing went. So, she has nowhere to go but I'm not wanting her here yet she says she's not leaving without kids or I let her stay. How do I file and how does the emergency custody hearing work into it-specifically are there forms for that as well as filing the initial divorce? How can I get someone official to serve her? I don't have much time so if you can swing it-let me know. Other than that-you guys are great giving some hope to people in need even if we get the answer we don't like-Thanks in advance

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of my state-California.
Okay hello to whomever is available and can give me some legal advice. Well, I need to file for divorce but I'm confused on 2 issue's-when I file it's basically give the paper work and pay the fee and then I'm supposed to serve the respondant. I did this divorce once before and screwed up by not serving that person. But this time, I have a different circumstance-we we're separated since last year after I lost my job she had work and wouldn't help with bills so I said you must go and she left. I had the kids she lived with dad for 6 months. Then she was asked to leave. And after 2 weeks at friends & woman shelter, kids asked me to let her stay temporarily. Well, this isn't working out 2 months now. I called my social worker and told her the problem and would let her know how my filing went. So, she has nowhere to go but I'm not wanting her here yet she says she's not leaving without kids or I let her stay. How do I file and how does the emergency custody hearing work into it-specifically are there forms for that as well as filing the initial divorce? How can I get someone official to serve her? I don't have much time so if you can swing it-let me know. Other than that-you guys are great giving some hope to people in need even if we get the answer we don't like-Thanks in advance

Guess what -- you cannot force her to leave the marital residence. She can stay until a court orders her to leave the house. And if she did leave she can take the children and you could not stop her unless a court ordered that the children remain. You though need an attorney because you are completely clueless of the process and if you do not do it correctly then you are not going to get anywhere.

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

What can an attny do right now that I can't to get thing's going. There's too much boring details where officials got involved and a report was made, there's one with CPS which doesn't involve me that her mother did an almost got the kids taken away, then she fled out of state and the D.A.'s file on the incident that if I had followed that last step she would have been incarcerated, then the local PD reports which are associated with bad persons and bad conduct causing trouble, now her dad said she had something to do with credit card/bank acct funds being gone. And lastly is school officials calling CPS because when my son visited her she kept him at her place and never told me and too many absences, no good grades prompted it. They know the difference when she's involved and when I take over. I know priorities for my kids. All these thing's should speak volumes to a judge and the fact is I'm not trying to keep these kids from their mom. I know they need her but the time has to be on good foundations where her indescrepancies won't affect them or me-when she's outside this home, our home, my kids and my safety zone. But can someone without funds be given a lawyer or won't this just make it more that I should do it myself? If I do start with your help on what to file will it be difficult for a person with no funds to get an attny to continue? I know there's much here that can be answered that would certainly give me the knowledge on how to proceed. Can you please give what you can on info?

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

Look-is that the only answer-I need an atty-fine. But if I have no money can I still get an atty or is life for me just subject to problems associated with this woman and even if she forces her way to stay-letting her take my kids to a shelter couldn't be considered good parenting? Please just answer this.

 

[Ohiogal]

What can an attny do right now that I can't to get thing's going.

The attorney will know the laws and the local rules which will tell him how to get started as well as what to file and hwo to serve properly.

There's too much boring details where officials got involved and a report was made, there's one with CPS which doesn't involve me that her mother did an almost got the kids taken away, then she fled out of state and the D.A.'s file on the incident that if I had followed that last step she would have been incarcerated,

And you didn't follow it. YOu didnt' follow it at all. Hence she was not incarcerated.

then the local PD reports which are associated with bad persons and bad conduct causing trouble, now her dad said she had something to do with credit card/bank acct funds being gone.

And what do you think that shows/ She has not been convicted of anything. Hence it is not relevant.

And lastly is school officials calling CPS because when my son visited her she kept him at her place and never told me and too many absences, no good grades prompted it. They know the difference when she's involved and when I take over. I know priorities for my kids.

And you are responsible as well. This was your son. Why werne't you aware he was missing school?

All these thing's should speak volumes to a judge and the fact is I'm not trying to keep these kids from their mom. I know they need her but the time has to be on good foundations where her indescrepancies won't affect them or me-when she's outside this home, our home, my kids and my safety zone

.

You cannot get rid of mom. Mom is always going to be mom. She will always be a part of their life and will most probably get some type of custody.

But can someone without funds be given a lawyer or won't this just make it more that I should do it myself?

No. Lawyers are NOT appoitned for divorce cases.

If I do start with your help on what to file will it be difficult for a person with no funds to get an attny to continue? I know there's much here that can be answered that would certainly give me the knowledge on how to proceed. Can you please give what you can on info?

Have you checked legal aid? Have you contacted the local bar?

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

I didn't know because she sent him to school the next day so I was kept out of the loop. Other than that I've been trying to be a great parent and understanding to her dilemma's. But come on-the statement your making is emotional and sound's like I've indicated the opposite of what I want like I want her out completely She's mom stop making it sound like I that selfish. Custody is fine but as for example, if my son had come home that evening, he would have said he didn't go to school and I would found out because he wouldn't have had homework. But still the facts do say she's not rationale. My only problem is my kids will resent me if I do something to hurt their relationship with their mom so their protective and I'm cautious. And at the time she was almost incarcerated I still loved her but that's changed now. So, I've been too patient. I'm going to call legal aide-as I stated I'm asking you so that means I'm not trying to cause more problems for myself. Doesn't it seem like I'm really trying to make everyone able to deal with it? Sometimes people just don't see how every split does the child the same way-and I'm trying to make them see how dad does thing's for love of them and what they need not hurting and taking away. So, I'm calling-thank you.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didn't know because she sent him to school the next day so I was kept out of the loop. Other than that I've been trying to be a great parent and understanding to her dilemma's. But come on-the statement your making is emotional and sound's like I've indicated the opposite of what I want like I want her out completely She's mom stop making it sound like I that selfish. Custody is fine but as for example, if my son had come home that evening, he would have said he didn't go to school and I would found out because he wouldn't have had homework. But still the facts do say she's not rationale. My only problem is my kids will resent me if I do something to hurt their relationship with their mom so their protective and I'm cautious. And at the time she was almost incarcerated I still loved her but that's changed now. So, I've been too patient. I'm going to call legal aide-as I stated I'm asking you so that means I'm not trying to cause more problems for myself. Doesn't it seem like I'm really trying to make everyone able to deal with it? Sometimes people just don't see how every split does the child the same way-and I'm trying to make them see how dad does thing's for love of them and what they need not hurting and taking away. So, I'm calling-thank you.

Here is the point I am trying to make -- things that you think are relevant the court will not find relevant -- the fact that she could have been incarcerated or the fact that the has police reports. you are still married to her and chose her as a mother. Unless she does something to endanger the children (place them in immediate harm) then she will get overnights and will get custody. Rationale is a legal and medical conclusion. Unless you have documentation stating that she is not in her right mind your opinion is not going to do it and a judge will not find that she is irrational. What the judge will see is that you two do not get along and you may be the parent that should get primary residential custody. But you really need to contact legal aid/the bar and see what you can find out.

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

Just to let you know-I have and got an appointment. But I found out all they do is help people on what forms to fill out. That's all. See, I knew it would be like that. No representation really. Primary residential custody is fine and no interference when they are here is good. If you have access to the self help forms here in CA or are familiar with them, I was hoping to do that here, but these are the ones fl-100/fl-150/fl-110/fl-105 with an attachment C-and the only thing I wanted to know was how to go about getting an emergency custody hearing, do I just ask or is there a form? I'm telling you, I think this is an important step. I don't want to wait for help I can get here. But, whatever. Thanks for your time. I appreciate it.

 

[stealth2]

For starters - what's the emergency?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of my state-California.
Okay hello to whomever is available and can give me some legal advice. Well, I need to file for divorce but I'm confused on 2 issue's-when I file it's basically give the paper work and pay the fee and then I'm supposed to serve the respondant. I did this divorce once before and screwed up by not serving that person. But this time, I have a different circumstance-we we're separated since last year after I lost my job she had work and wouldn't help with bills so I said you must go and she left. I had the kids she lived with dad for 6 months. Then she was asked to leave. And after 2 weeks at friends & woman shelter, kids asked me to let her stay temporarily. Well, this isn't working out 2 months now. I called my social worker and told her the problem and would let her know how my filing went. So, she has nowhere to go but I'm not wanting her here yet she says she's not leaving without kids or I let her stay. How do I file and how does the emergency custody hearing work into it-specifically are there forms for that as well as filing the initial divorce? How can I get someone official to serve her? I don't have much time so if you can swing it-let me know. Other than that-you guys are great giving some hope to people in need even if we get the answer we don't like-Thanks in advance

You need to visit the Family Law Facilitator's office. You need to get a divorce/dissolution packet, which will also contain filing instructions, service instructions and areas for you to check boxes indicating you wish to retain the marital residence- and Primary Physical Custody of the kids. Bring all correspondence &/or names/dates of CPS social workers involved, any school records showing absences, etc.

Are the children seeing a social worker too? Or is the Social Worker the one assigned by CPS?

 

[casa]

Just to let you know-I have and got an appointment. But I found out all they do is help people on what forms to fill out. That's all. See, I knew it would be like that. No representation really. Primary residential custody is fine and no interference when they are here is good. If you have access to the self help forms here in CA or are familiar with them, I was hoping to do that here, but these are the ones fl-100/fl-150/fl-110/fl-105 with an attachment C-and the only thing I wanted to know was how to go about getting an emergency custody hearing, do I just ask or is there a form? I'm telling you, I think this is an important step. I don't want to wait for help I can get here. But, whatever. Thanks for your time. I appreciate it.

I do not see an Emergency unless Mom is exhibiting behavior you have not addressed here. IF there was an Emergency, you could go to court to request an ex parte hearing/order (emergency temporary order) pending the next court hearing. Most disputed custody cases will be assigned to Mediation. All your documents/evidence,etc. must be filed prior to any mediation date in order for them to be considered by the mediator.

Again, the Divorce/Custody paperwork comes in a packet all together with instructions from the clerk's office.

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

Okay, I will do this. The school is closed for vacation. I can do this Monday. This is an emergency and the aforementioned by you is the reason. All I can say is I downloaded all the forms-every single packet and have filled out accordingly. Whatever I need I have. So, this is what information I was seeking. Thank you very much from my kids and me.

 

[casa]

Okay, I will do this. The school is closed for vacation. I can do this Monday. This is an emergency and the aforementioned by you is the reason. All I can say is I downloaded all the forms-every single packet and have filled out accordingly. Whatever I need I have. So, this is what information I was seeking. Thank you very much from my kids and me.

Good Luck.

 

[Dadx2kids4n8]

Thanks to you-thing's are more clear now. I wish to God almighty that I/we was one of the few that realized how important it is to let the children live free of hate. Grow unbound by bitterness and release them from the fear of thinking they'll lose any parent during a difficult time as this. Just to let you know-I'm not stupid. I was trying to be a thoughtful person. Hoping my gesters would be returned. And hoping to instill forgiveness in my sons whenever possible with a family member. And I've heard you and others exclaim how "awful" it is to judges to set out and destroy how the other parent is percieved regarding responsibility. It doesn't help me any in feelings-but again I'm seeing the hurt and confused state it's causing at the present. So-thanks again-I don't know if you'll even see this but-God Bless you and keep your life the way you want it! Sincerely-Steve

 

[casa]

Thanks to you-thing's are more clear now. I wish to God almighty that I/we was one of the few that realized how important it is to let the children live free of hate. Grow unbound by bitterness and release them from the fear of thinking they'll lose any parent during a difficult time as this. Just to let you know-I'm not stupid. I was trying to be a thoughtful person. Hoping my gesters would be returned. And hoping to instill forgiveness in my sons whenever possible with a family member. And I've heard you and others exclaim how "awful" it is to judges to set out and destroy how the other parent is percieved regarding responsibility. It doesn't help me any in feelings-but again I'm seeing the hurt and confused state it's causing at the present. So-thanks again-I don't know if you'll even see this but-God Bless you and keep your life the way you want it! Sincerely-Steve

Get those kids in to talk to someone...K? Keep moving forward.