Husband decides going to walk out 30 years later

[Jrose57]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey

I got married in December of 1993, had two children with my Husband. In 2004 we separated and my Husband and his GF at that time went a got a quicky divorce, her mother did the paperwork - I got no support from him at all - sadly, we got back together and married in 2006 and still married as of now - but this is a man that loves to be center attraction of women, he has been caught multiple times with his online affairs. Bottom line, he decided he is moving out and feels I deserve absolutely nothing. I left a career when we got married, he claimed he would take care of everything. I cashed in my 401K to help him with an attorney as he had 2 previous children with his ex-girlfriend. He has gone through many jobs and fired from some - at one point, we were in back rent and all, so I cashed out my pension to pay for all owed. Now, he wanted us to have a better vehicle and since at the time of purchase my credit was better than his, I signed for loan, a loan didn't want but have - he makes double the amount I do and provides the health insurance, since my job is very small, and he knew I had medical issues. We are also in a situation where we reside now, the landlord wants us out and I can't afford to find another place on my own. My Husband said originally, he would try to help a little but since we can't communicate, he told me to look elsewhere -
Am i entitled to anything from him at all? and if so, can he just walk out and leave me stuck with the rent and all of which I don't even make enough to cover even half righ now of what we are paying. I have never not worked, only had a handful of jobs with him but I also don't make what he does. Can i file for alimony or help before even a divorce is started? and how, just asking, are there ways to even do all this with barely a dime to pay for lawyers? Appreciate any kind of advice - thank you.

 

[Zigner]

I've got two suggestions right off the bat.
First, don't rely on ever seeing a dime from the man. You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do something to support yourself.
Second, I suggest you review the following page thoroughly: https://www.njcourts.gov/self-help/divorce

 

[Jrose57]

While I am working and doing best I can, after this many years of marriage i am not entitled to any alimony, nothing at all - him making double what I do and can walk away with no obligation at all?

 

[Zigner]

While I am working and doing best I can, after this many years of marriage i am not entitled to any alimony, nothing at all - him making double what I do and can walk away with no obligation at all?

I never said that. What I'm telling you is that you can't depend on it. I mean, what if he walks out of his house tonight and gets struck by lightning? What would you do then? (It's rhetorical.)

 

[Jrose57]

Well that part I understand - I just wanted to know basically if this is it and going to end after this many years, was I entitled to anything at all - I have given up all, and what I did have gave, so my own fault, yes, this is truly know.

 

[Zigner]

I can't refer you to any commercial websites, but I'd suggest you just do a web search for Alimony in New Jersey and start reading.

 

[Jrose57]

Thank you, I will do that

 

[zddoodah]

I left a career when we got married

Which time?

Am i entitled to anything from him at all?

You're entitled to an equitable division of marital property (which, given that you've been married 17 years, probably means everything you (plural) own). You may also be entitled to alimony.

Can i file for alimony or help before even a divorce is started?

Alimony is something that is ordered as part of the divorce. Not sure what "file for . . . help" means otherwise.

are there ways to even do all this with barely a dime to pay for lawyers?

You CAN try to handle your divorce yourself, but your best move will be to consult with a few attorneys to see what can be worked out in terms of payment. It may be possible to get a court order requiring you husband to pay for some or all of your attorney fees.

 

[LdiJ]

While I am working and doing best I can, after this many years of marriage i am not entitled to any alimony, nothing at all - him making double what I do and can walk away with no obligation at all?

You are entitled to some alimony and it would likely be awared to you. However, when someone is determined not to pay their ex they will move heaven and earth to avoid doing so, even if they tank their own financial life in the process. Therefore you have to realize that even if a judge orders him to pay you, he might not do so and it might be impossible to collect from him.

However, you are entitled to 1/2 of the marital assets and he is responsible for 1/2 of the marital debts, and you might even be able to the property settlement skewed a little more in your favor. That is where an attorney could help you. However, whether you should pay an attorney or not really depends on what the marital assets look like.