I am actually considering this...Name Change/Hyphen

[bononos again]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Never thought I'd be asking this!?!
For those who don't know my situation...quick run down.
Son is 7. We were married.
His Dad lost custody and is down to 3 hours supervised a week due to a drug arrest with son in car in Aug 2008.
Dad recently had to appear on a warrant at family court for missing CS hearings on Apr. 2.
Dad showed up, was arrested, searched, and had drugs on him. He spent a week in jail.
Has never paid CS on time. We have yet another contempt coming up again.

The last name issue.
Not only ex, but many of his family members are not thought of too highly in our area. Say their last name and people's eyes roll. Ex and his brother have both gotten into legal troubles alot lately. I really am getting upset that our son has to be associated with their screw ups just in name.

I guess there is no chance to change his last name without ex agreeing?

Do you think a court would allow a hyphen and we could just gradually not use ex's last name too much?

I know I might get jumped on for this question, but, he is not getting clean, and many people we know from school and activities know of his problems and arrests. I am starting to feel embarassed for our son. I am hoping he doesn't get picked on in the future.

 

[truebluemd]

I guess there is no chance to change his last name without ex agreeing?

probably not unless you can get a good atty to help. have you ever asked ex if he would consider it?

Do you think a court would allow a hyphen and we could just gradually not use ex's last name too much?

I dont know, but they should.

 

[bononos again]

probably not unless you can get a good atty to help. have you ever asked ex if he would consider it?

Do you think a court would allow a hyphen and we could just gradually not use ex's last name too much?

I dont know, but they should.

The atty. I used this last August when he lost all visits and custody was good.
Ex will NEVER agree, unless of course I dropped CS, then he might agree.

 

[truebluemd]

The atty. I used this last August when he lost all visits and custody was good.
Ex will NEVER agree, unless of course I dropped CS, then he might agree.

Well, I would say don't bargain with child support.

If you can get his last name hyphenated, then you should your last name first. Some people I know with hyphenated last names use them interchangeably.

Have you looked up your states regs with regard to name change?

 

[truebluemd]

I forgot to add that if you do request this, you would still have to prove its in the best interest of your child.

 

[bononos again]

Well, I would say don't bargain with child support.

If you can get his last name hyphenated, then you should your last name first. Some people I know with hyphenated last names use them interchangeably.

Have you looked up your states regs with regard to name change?

I did just find this:

f) In those cases where the Petitioner is seeking to change the name of a minor and a parent files an objection to the Petition or appears to oppose the Petition, the case shall immediately be transferred to the Family Division for all further proceedings with respect to the minor's Petition. The transfer shall be accomplished by the Civil Division Motions Clerk sending the case to the Scheduling Clerk of the Family Division for scheduling as the Family Division's calendar permits.


So, if he misses the next contempt hearing, which is very likely, he will have another warrant. For him to appear to object, he would be arrested again, maybe that would help my chances?

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Well, I would say don't bargain with child support.

If you can get his last name hyphenated, then you should your last name first. Some people I know with hyphenated last names use them interchangeably.

Have you looked up your states regs with regard to name change?

Not trying to hijack, promise. But is there a difference between which name is used first? Will my son always need to write his name Jack M-P? I know as an adult they can choose, but, like for school purposes?

 

[bononos again]

I forgot to add that if you do request this, you would still have to prove its in the best interest of your child.

Would having their court dockets for all the trouble they have been in help?
Would printing the embarassing newspaper article with ex named help?

 

[truebluemd]

I did just find this:

f) In those cases where the Petitioner is seeking to change the name of a minor and a parent files an objection to the Petition or appears to oppose the Petition, the case shall immediately be transferred to the Family Division for all further proceedings with respect to the minor's Petition. The transfer shall be accomplished by the Civil Division Motions Clerk sending the case to the Scheduling Clerk of the Family Division for scheduling as the Family Division's calendar permits.


So, if he misses the next contempt hearing, which is very likely, he will have another warrant. For him to appear to object, he would be arrested again, maybe that would help my chances?

Its being transferred to the family division because it falls under the jurisdiction of family division. It has nothing to do with his contempt hearing, whether he shows or not.

What kind of relationsip does he have with the kid and dad's family?

 

[bononos again]

Its being transferred to the family division because it falls under the jurisdiction of family division. It has nothing to do with his contempt hearing, whether he shows or not.

What kind of relationsip does he have with the kid and dad's family?

Even before he lost custody. It wasn't great. We had a 60/40 custody schedule, but, I think he wanted that to reduce CS.
He lives with his Mother, so kiddo basically was cared for by her. He's never come to any of his sport activities or parent/teacher confrences. He has never been to his school nor does he know any parents or sons friends. He is a video game Dad. That is the only activity (aside from the drugs) that ex does with son.

 

[truebluemd]

Even before he lost custody. It wasn't great. We had a 60/40 custody schedule, but, I think he wanted that to reduce CS.
He lives with his Mother, so kiddo basically was cared for by her. He's never come to any of his sport activities or parent/teacher confrences. He has never been to his school nor does he know any parents or sons friends. He is a video game Dad. That is the only activity (aside from the drugs) that ex does with son.

but he does see him regularly?

 

[bononos again]

but he does see him regularly?

Yes. Every Sunday for 3 hours.
He cannot request an increase in visits until he has completed both
in-patient and out-patient treatment.
He did detox for a week, they recommended year of treatment. Then, he got back on the drugs again, so, it will be a long time before he could request a change.

 

[truebluemd]

If he objects, its highly unlikely but its a 50/50 shot. I know I'll get busted but here is what I got from a findlaw.com arcticle. I would still say talk to an atty to see what your chances are.

"In focusing on the best interests of the child, the length of time the child has been named, the identity of similarly named siblings or family members, and the bonds between the parents and the child are all important issues. If the child understands the significance of the proposed change, the court may interview the child and consider his or her preferences."

 

[bononos again]

If he objects, its highly unlikely but its a 50/50 shot. I know I'll get busted but here is what I got from a findlaw.com arcticle. I would still say talk to an atty to see what your chances are.

"In focusing on the best interests of the child, the length of time the child has been named, the identity of similarly named siblings or family members, and the bonds between the parents and the child are all important issues. If the child understands the significance of the proposed change, the court may interview the child and consider his or her preferences."

Thanks for finding that.

I think it's worth a shot to try. I really don't want the association with that name to keep carrying on with him.

 

[truebluemd]

Thanks for finding that.

I think it's worth a shot to try. I really don't want the association with that name to keep carrying on with him.

I understand, but you can certainly raise your child not to be defined by the who his name is associated with. You can raise him to be aware of the pitfalls and be better.

My son has my last name but for different reasons. In anycase, I still believe it was a good decision.