I haven't seen my granddaughter in over 2 months

[kool4lyfe]

Pennsylvania

My granddaughter's mother stopped bringing her around me and has cut all communication off as well. I was there when she had her and after that she would bring her over to visit then she would have us babysit while she worked. There hasn't been any type of conflict/ arguments anything that would make her stop bringing the child around. My son went to jail and we were trying to help her best we could. I see no reason for her to do this such act toward us. I have been trying to reach out to the mother but she refuses to answer any calls, texts, or messages. Just yesterday she had posted a picture of my granddaughter on facebook and all I had said was that I missed her and haven't seen her in over 2 months and that my heart was broken; today I found I was blocked for no reason. I am trying to inquire on what I can do just to see my grandbaby. I'm on disability so I have no money to actually take her to court. I'm like any other grandparent who wants to be in their grandchild's life. Please tell me what I can do. Thank you so much!

 

[CTU]

Pennsylvania

My granddaughter's mother stopped bringing her around me and has cut all communication off as well. I was there when she had her and after that she would bring her over to visit then she would have us babysit while she worked. There hasn't been any type of conflict/ arguments anything that would make her stop bringing the child around. My son went to jail and we were trying to help her best we could. I see no reason for her to do this such act toward us. I have been trying to reach out to the mother but she refuses to answer any calls, texts, or messages. Just yesterday she had posted a picture of my granddaughter on facebook and all I had said was that I missed her and haven't seen her in over 2 months and that my heart was broken; today I found I was blocked for no reason. I am trying to inquire on what I can do just to see my grandbaby. I'm on disability so I have no money to actually take her to court. I'm like any other grandparent who wants to be in their grandchild's life. Please tell me what I can do. Thank you so much!

While it's possible for grandparents to get court-ordered visitation in your state, such suits are very expensive and there is never a guarantee that you'd win. You would also have to sue your own son. The best thing you can do is basically suck up to Mom and treat her like the Queen of England - with absolute deference, including not writing on Mom's Facebook wall.

How old is the child, and when will your son be out of jail?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Pennsylvania

My granddaughter's mother stopped bringing her around me and has cut all communication off as well. I was there when she had her and after that she would bring her over to visit then she would have us babysit while she worked. There hasn't been any type of conflict/ arguments anything that would make her stop bringing the child around. My son went to jail and we were trying to help her best we could. I see no reason for her to do this such act toward us. I have been trying to reach out to the mother but she refuses to answer any calls, texts, or messages. Just yesterday she had posted a picture of my granddaughter on facebook and all I had said was that I missed her and haven't seen her in over 2 months and that my heart was broken; today I found I was blocked for no reason. I am trying to inquire on what I can do just to see my grandbaby. I'm on disability so I have no money to actually take her to court. I'm like any other grandparent who wants to be in their grandchild's life. Please tell me what I can do. Thank you so much!

She has a reason: you were publically criticizing her on her page.

Examples of appropriate posts, in your position: "What a beautiful picture!" "So precious." "<3" "More adorable by the minute!"

Do not post *anything* negative about your granddaughter's mother on FB, not even indirectly.

 

[CTU]

She has a reason: you were publically criticizing her on her page.

Examples of appropriate posts, in your position: "What a beautiful picture!" "So precious." "<3" "More adorable by the minute!"

Do not post *anything* negative about your granddaughter's mother on FB, not even indirectly.

I agree wholeheartedly. While it's clear that Grandma/dad in this case is hurting, saying so on Mom's FB page - particularly using those words - is probably the fastest way to get blocked.

 

[Ohiogal]

So when was paternity established? How do you know you are grandma, OP? Did mom find out someone else was the actual father?

 

[kool4lyfe]

I Haven't seen my granddaughter in over 2 months

While it's possible for grandparents to get court-ordered visitation in your state, such suits are very expensive and there is never a guarantee that you'd win. You would also have to sue your own son. The best thing you can do is basically suck up to Mom and treat her like the Queen of England - with absolute deference, including not writing on Mom's Facebook wall.

How old is the child, and when will your son be out of jail?

The child is 3 months old almost 4 months. I have been trying to suck up to the mother but its impossible when she ignores every attempt. I have not been mean or ignorant to her at all. I will see her and say hello but she just turns her head and keep it moving. my son gets out the beginning of August and I'm hoping things change and she lets him see her as well. She is the type of person that uses people and lie a lot. She will also try and keep the baby from him as well. This whole situation is heart breaking.

 

[Zigner]

The child is 3 months old almost 4 months. I have been trying to suck up to the mother but its impossible when she ignores every attempt. I have not been mean or ignorant to her at all. I will see her and say hello but she just turns her head and keep it moving. my son gets out the beginning of August and I'm hoping things change and she lets him see her as well. She is the type of person that uses people and lie a lot. She will also try and keep the baby from him as well. This whole situation is heart breaking.

Well, you totally ignored the question as to whether or not paternity was ever established. In any case, I suspect your attitude towards mom has bled through on more than one occasion. Be kind, be patient.

 

[CTU]

The child is 3 months old almost 4 months. I have been trying to suck up to the mother but its impossible when she ignores every attempt. I have not been mean or ignorant to her at all. I will see her and say hello but she just turns her head and keep it moving. my son gets out the beginning of August and I'm hoping things change and she lets him see her as well. She is the type of person that uses people and lie a lot. She will also try and keep the baby from him as well. This whole situation is heart breaking.

Your son is the type of person who commits crimes and picked her to be the mother of his child sooooooo ... neither of you are really in a place to throw stones at Mom's house.

Your son should file to establish paternity (if that hasn't already been done), custody (he won't get primary, but he'll get some sort of joint custody) and an enforceable visitation plan.

I found this for Dauphin County, but he could probably just copy the template and use it for wherever he lives.

http://www.dauphincounty.org/government/Court-Departments/Self-Help-Center/Documents/Sample Custody Proposed Parenting Plan.pdf

If you wish to see the child, it will be expected to be during your son's parenting time.

I'm going to end by saying this:

Your son has chosen this young lady to be the mother of his child. They will have to deal with each other for a long, long time. If your son wants to be a good parent, he will make sure that both he and his child treat Mommy with kindness and respect no matter what's going on between he and Mom. Their mutual child shouldn't have to feel like a toy being fought over, and Mom can only fight with your son if your son engages with her. He can't control her, but he absolutely can control himself and how he reacts.

Well ... when he gets out of prison, anyway.

 

[Ohiogal]

The child is 3 months old almost 4 months. I have been trying to suck up to the mother but its impossible when she ignores every attempt. I have not been mean or ignorant to her at all. I will see her and say hello but she just turns her head and keep it moving. my son gets out the beginning of August and I'm hoping things change and she lets him see her as well. She is the type of person that uses people and lie a lot. She will also try and keep the baby from him as well. This whole situation is heart breaking.

You are not the child's grandmother because apparently paternity is NOT established if your son has been in jail for quite a while AND the child is only 4 months old. Nor is your son legally the father. You have no rights even if you were grandma but at this point your son doesn't even have rights. How are you claiming that this child is your granddaughter?