I Need Help Desperately to get my kids

[momataloss]

What is the name of your state? NY
Married 20 to a correctional officer. We have 2 boys 20/16. My soon to be ex had me fasely arrested back in July, a month after I filed for divorce, for fasely accusing me of hitting him. No photos, and no proof. I spent 2 days in jail for something I didn't do. He called the police 8 times only to be removed from the premises. There is a restraining order against me till 12/07. False allegations.
My soon to be ex, verbally, and physcially abused me. I brought in er reports, dr reports and even pictures and in Supreme court was told by the judge that these are "serious allegations".
My soon to be ex was awarded the kids. My 16 year has called me every name imaginable and wants to stay with his father, even though I practically raised the kids myself as the soon to be ex, worked 5 years away, works doubles, weekends and holidays.
The ex now gambles (says he has no money), so much so that he has comp at the casino, is 3/4 times a week at the local bars with his girlfriend whom is a frequent visitor at the local bar with her Harley.The soon to be leaves my 16 year old home alot alone.
The law guardian is against me.My 16 year was talking to a 36 year old man on his cell phone which I got copies of the bills and the main concern of the law guardian was "how did you get copies of those bills?". My son was to go away with this man with my husbands knowledge overnight. 2 days before I called this man up and told him to never contact my son again. My son is gay.
My ex does not have my kids best interest at heart nor does the law guardian who does speak to my ex and my ex's lawyer.
How do I win custody back? We have a TRIAL in May because things are so bad. I have been ordered out of the house in Nov. with only my personal things. The house was to be on the market in Sept. He over priced it $100,000 and the new realtor will not do any adver. until he lowers it. Both name is on the deed but he won't budge. I don't have any of my beloginings. I had 6 hours to leave all because of the ex falsely calling the police.
I need help bad.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? NY
Married 20 to a correctional officer. We have 2 boys 20/16. My soon to be ex had me fasely arrested back in July, a month after I filed for divorce, for fasely accusing me of hitting him. No photos, and no proof. I spent 2 days in jail for something I didn't do. He called the police 8 times only to be removed from the premises. There is a restraining order against me till 12/07. False allegations.
My soon to be ex, verbally, and physcially abused me. I brought in er reports, dr reports and even pictures and in Supreme court was told by the judge that these are "serious allegations".
My soon to be ex was awarded the kids. My 16 year has called me every name imaginable and wants to stay with his father, even though I practically raised the kids myself as the soon to be ex, worked 5 years away, works doubles, weekends and holidays.
The ex now gambles (says he has no money), so much so that he has comp at the casino, is 3/4 times a week at the local bars with his girlfriend whom is a frequent visitor at the local bar with her Harley.The soon to be leaves my 16 year old home alot alone.
The law guardian is against me.My 16 year was talking to a 36 year old man on his cell phone which I got copies of the bills and the main concern of the law guardian was "how did you get copies of those bills?". My son was to go away with this man with my husbands knowledge overnight. 2 days before I called this man up and told him to never contact my son again. My son is gay.
My ex does not have my kids best interest at heart nor does the law guardian who does speak to my ex and my ex's lawyer.
How do I win custody back? We have a TRIAL in May because things are so bad. I have been ordered out of the house in Nov. with only my personal things. The house was to be on the market in Sept. He over priced it $100,000 and the new realtor will not do any adver. until he lowers it. Both name is on the deed but he won't budge. I don't have any of my beloginings. I had 6 hours to leave all because of the ex falsely calling the police.
I need help bad.

You're really going to need an attorney. Beg, borrow, sell, whatever, but get an attorney as fast as you can.

 

[fairisfair]

Personally, I think hiring an attorney would be a waste of time and money, the court has made a decision, there have been no change of circumstance to warrant a change in custody, the GAL in the case has made their recommendation. IMHO you would be better served to use your time and resources to mend the relationship with your son.

 

[momataloss]

I have tried and mend my relationship with my son, but it is so hard and very difficult when he lives with his father, who constantly baggers me and belittles me to the kids. There have been times that the ex, on the phone, would say outlandish and ridiculous things on the other end of the phone, only to find out the my son was right there listening to it all.
I love my kids and want only the best for them, and quite honestly, living with the ex, is not in the best interest.

 

[fairisfair]

I have tried and mend my relationship with my son, but it is so hard and very difficult when he lives with his father, who constantly baggers me and belittles me to the kids. There have been times that the ex, on the phone, would say outlandish and ridiculous things on the other end of the phone, only to find out the my son was right there listening to it all.
I love my kids and want only the best for them, and quite honestly, living with the ex, is not in the best interest.

Well, so far, the police, the court, the judge, the GAL, your son and your ex, all apparently disagree with you. And they are all wrong, and you are the only one who really sees what is going on?? now come on, surely not even you can believe that is true?

 

[Silverplum]

Personally, I think hiring an attorney would be a waste of time and money, the court has made a decision, there have been no change of circumstance to warrant a change in custody, the GAL in the case has made their recommendation. IMHO you would be better served to use your time and resources to mend the relationship with your son.

I'm going to go back on myself and agree with Fair. She's right -- there's no change in circumstances, just your disagreement.

 

[fairisfair]

I'm going to go back on myself and agree with Fair. She's right -- there's no change in circumstances, just your disagreement.

I love you, especially now. LOL

 

[Silverplum]

I love you, especially now. LOL

D'ya think she needs an attorney for the TRIAL in May?

 

[Gracie3787]

Your divorce isn't final yet, correct?
Is the order on custody a temporary order?

If the divorce isn't final yet, you still have time to hire an attorney and get your evidence into court. As another poster said, even if you have to sell everything you have, you really need to get an attorney. You are fighting a losing battle from the start, anytime a law enforcement officer makes allegations they are almost always believed simply because "the system" thinks that officers never lie. (my experience has been that the ones who do lie, get away with it for that same reason). You will need an agressive attorney and alot of documention of the truth before you can really have any chance in court.

 

[momataloss]

I filed, after years of abuse, physically and mentally. All documented..AFTER 13 Marriage counselers. My husband used the system, being in law enforcement, to advantage. Arrested, with no proof, just his word. My son calls the law guardian on every little thing. I LIVED in a $350,000, which now is court ordered to be sold and my ex is convincing the kids that I am taking the house away from them. I am now in the process to try and buy it, so in hopes they would live with me.
The law guardian killed my case. Drug and alcohol testing was done because of the soon to be, counseling, etc and passed with flying colors. My attorney stated to me that she is just against me. The guardian only talks to my husband and son. There is no concern for my sons well being. My son threaten to "trash and burn the house down" if I buy it. Is that normal. How about on Christmas, I spend a ton and my 16 year steals cd's, garage door openers, title to my ex's truck, etc at my parents house where I stay. Why would he do that? The ex.
This is the garbage I put up with. I have been out of the house and still, the ex calls and harasses me telling me that his girlfriend is in our house**************whoppee!
Yes, the moral of the story is though, I left for the abuse, and I have a broken ear drum, broken tail bone, black eyes, finger marks on my neck, etc, but I did leave for someone else.
Yes, someone else. Someone who adores my kids, and doesn't hit, slap, punch, etc me and the law guardian was ticked about that. I was honest.

 

[momataloss]

I have had an attorney. My attorney is the one who suggested the trial because of all the allegations.
Listen, I work for government. I was the soccer mom. The one who put the kids in religion, the one who took care of them while the ex was out on his motorcycle, the one who took care of them when they were sick. I cook, bake and cleaned an almost 5000 sq foot house, and worked full time. My life are kids.
My soon to be ex is a correctional officer at a womens prison and stated before, knew the system.
I am hurt, anger, and frustrated. My trial date is in May and don't know what evidence I should bring.
I told the law guardian about the abuse, and gave her references, which she asked for, and she never followed up on a single one.

 

[momataloss]

Does anyone have any advice on what to bring to trial? I really want custody of my son. My ex is dragging things on and it is costing me a big fortune!

 

[Gracie3787]

Does anyone have any advice on what to bring to trial? I really want custody of my son. My ex is dragging things on and it is costing me a big fortune!

As much documentation as you can get. It's better to be over prepared than under prepared.

 

[momataloss]

What kind of documentation? I have cell phone bills showing that the ex is out till all hours of the night and at the casino where he frequents, thus, leaving my son home alone. He had 238 phone calls in a 3 week period to and from the obsessive girlfriend (whom he now ditched) showing that that is not normal. Now he is with a women that he and her frequent bars quite often a week. I was chasised when I went out, which was 1-2 times a month after work for social events!!!!!
I am driving myself nuts because I am out of my house and my soon to be lied about everything and got away with it. From the arrest, to the kids, to me taking his mail, and his personal things AND GOT AWAY WITH IT.!

 

[Ohiogal]

What kind of documentation? I have cell phone bills showing that the ex is out till all hours of the night and at the casino where he frequents, thus, leaving my son home alone. He had 238 phone calls in a 3 week period to and from the obsessive girlfriend (whom he now ditched) showing that that is not normal. Now he is with a women that he and her frequent bars quite often a week. I was chasised when I went out, which was 1-2 times a month after work for social events!!!!!
I am driving myself nuts because I am out of my house and my soon to be lied about everything and got away with it. From the arrest, to the kids, to me taking his mail, and his personal things AND GOT AWAY WITH IT.!

First of all, his cell phone is NONE of your business. Cell phone bills do not prove that the EX is out till all hours of the night nor does it prove that he is at a casino nor does it prove that your son is home alone. And a 16 year old can spend time alone. You have no clue what normal is quite frankly -- there is no legal foundation of normal for the amount of cell phone calls one can make to and from another. But since he ditched her as you say that argument would go no where anyway. Going to bars is legal. You sound jealous because you were "chastised" but the thing is you chose to allow yourself to be treated that way. You have a losing battle here.