I was stupid...

[kimberlywrites]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Here's a warning to all of you who think you can get by without child support.

As the kids get older, they get more expensive.

I do 50-50 with my ex. We live three miles from each other. There is a lot of flexibility - mostly in that I take the kids extra - and my kids have a way over-stepping stepmom. You can see my other threads for history, but suffice it to say a police report was involved when she shoved me, and a consult with a laywer told me I had reason to seek standard possession orders for Texas (me as primary, dad every other weekend). But nooooo....i didn't want to do that to dad.

I agreed to no child support, becuase I had to get away from dad - and he said "don't take my kids, don't take my money." And I didn't. I got me and the kids into a house, all on my own. Dad makes twice as much as me. The judge who signed off on the divorce thought I was crazy. She said I should be getting some form of child support, because of the discrepancy. Oh no, I said. I'm okay.

I'm not okay. We've got tampons to worry about, and now braces for two.

No question to ask, Just saying - be more thoughtful than I was. Because now if I want to try and change it, it will cost thousands. And I might get NOWHERE.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Here's a warning to all of you who think you can get by without child support.

As the kids get older, they get more expensive.

I do 50-50 with my ex. We live three miles from each other. There is a lot of flexibility - mostly in that I take the kids extra - and my kids have a way over-stepping stepmom. You can see my other threads for history, but suffice it to say a police report was involved when she shoved me, and a consult with a laywer told me I had reason to seek standard possession orders for Texas (me as primary, dad every other weekend). But nooooo....i didn't want to do that to dad.

I agreed to no child support, becuase I had to get away from dad - and he said "don't take my kids, don't take my money." And I didn't. I got me and the kids into a house, all on my own. Dad makes twice as much as me. The judge who signed off on the divorce thought I was crazy. She said I should be getting some form of child support, because of the discrepancy. Oh no, I said. I'm okay.

I'm not okay. We've got tampons to worry about, and now braces for two.

No question to ask, Just saying - be more thoughtful than I was. Because now if I want to try and change it, it will cost thousands. And I might get NOWHERE.

CS is never a "closed" matter. Go back to court. You owe it to the kids.

 

[stealth2]

CS is never a "closed" matter. Go back to court. You owe it to the kids.

Just be aware that you may end up spending more in legal fees than you ultimately get.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Our divorce is almost three years old. Things have changed since then - remarriages, for one thing - but I have been told I can't just "change my mind" on things I already agreed to.

 

[stealth2]

Our divorce is almost three years old. Things have changed since then - remarriages, for one thing - but I have been told I can't just "change my mind" on things I already agreed to.

Told by whom?

 

[kimberlywrites]

a lawyer.
Basically she's saying if I take it to court, go for it all, not just one thing. I've been talking with the ex about the financial situation. He bought their last haircuts, and new backpacks for school. Before, he would have asked me to pay half. Progress.

 

[LdiJ]

a lawyer.
Basically she's saying if I take it to court, go for it all, not just one thing. I've been talking with the ex about the financial situation. He bought their last haircuts, and new backpacks for school. Before, he would have asked me to pay half. Progress.

You know, if you take it to court, you don't HAVE to use an attorney for child support. You can do it without on. Or, you could even go to the AG's office.

However, if you are contemplating a change in the parenting schedule, then the attorney is right, you might as well file for both of them together.

 

[kimberlywrites]

You're right, LD. Duh, never thought of it. Of course, the hitman he hires to off me would pby put an end to that motion pretty quickly!

 

[Zigner]

Our divorce is almost three years old. Things have changed since then - remarriages, for one thing - but I have been told I can't just "change my mind" on things I already agreed to.

That is true on things like spousal support and property division, etc. However, child support is for the children's benefit and the courts maintain jurisdiction over that aspect.

You've been around here for a while now...are you really saying you've never come across that information in a different thread?

 

[stealth2]

Well, I'll be honest with you. When we divorced, I agreed to less than guideline support. Mostly because he made that a condition for settling the custody case.

After several years, due to changing circumstances for both of us, I filed for a review/modification. Spend >$20k for a $200/mo increase. Uuuuh... yeah. The judge made it clear that my choice of accepting less than guideline was a contributing factor, because changing my mind wasn't a valid reason. Such is life.

 

[mistoffolees]

Our divorce is almost three years old. Things have changed since then - remarriages, for one thing - but I have been told I can't just "change my mind" on things I already agreed to.

Well, there is some truth to that, but that's not what's being discussed here.

If circumstances materially change, you can ask for a modification of child support. It's not changing your mind, it's a recognition that things change and child support might have to change, too.

 

[kimberlywrites]

That is true on things like spousal support and property division, etc. However, child support is for the children's benefit and the courts maintain jurisdiction over that aspect.

You've been around here for a while now...are you really saying you've never come across that information in a different thread?

I have seen it on here. But it's not very often we hear back from someone to tell us how it turned out! ETA: Thus the title of my thread. I was stupid! Hopefully somebody else won't be.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Well, there is some truth to that, but that's not what's being discussed here.

If circumstances materially change, you can ask for a modification of child support. It's not changing your mind, it's a recognition that things change and child support might have to change, too.

I still make approx. the same. He might make a bit more. So no, nothing really has changed - other than the fact the kids require more money now that they're older. I've been paying half or more than half for extracurriculars etc. But braces? That's going to be impossible. Yet he can afford it.

 

[mistoffolees]

I still make approx. the same. He might make a bit more. So no, nothing really has changed - other than the fact the kids require more money now that they're older. I've been paying half or more than half for extracurriculars etc. But braces? That's going to be impossible. Yet he can afford it.

Kids needing more as they get older really isn't unexpected.

Have you considered simply ASKING him to pay for braces? If either of you has dental insurance on the child, that my help.

 

[kimberlywrites]

Kids needing more as they get older really isn't unexpected.

Have you considered simply ASKING him to pay for braces? If either of you has dental insurance on the child, that my help.

Yes, I asked him. Yes, he carries the insurance. Might I add the insurance doesn't cost him anything extra since he is on the family plan.

I have asked him. This is the man who told me, four years ago, that if I couldn't afford to keep them in the same manner and style that he could, then HE should have full custody.

There is no reasoning with him when it comes to money. None.