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Is this child abuse ????

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I have a family member who is now an 11 year old female that was adopted by her distant relative at the age of 2 after her own mother fell into drugs and had sexual and physically assaulted this little girl. We will call this little girl Betty. She was adopted by this couple who had grown kids, the youngest being around 30 years old.

By happen chance this couple also watched their own grandson so much that he basically lived at this house with Betty. Betty was only a few months younger than their grandson. This couple who adopted Betty also had their adult 30 year old daughter living with them as well. So this adult daughter who we will call Alice grew very attached to her nephew who practically lived there. The reason the nephew, who we will call George, stays at this house so much is because custody was taken away from the dad and given to George’s mother. And George’s mother just let Alice and the grandparents take him all the time. Meanwhile the father of George had wrongly been stripped of his rights to his son. We will get back to this later though.

So George and Betty are essentially living together almost like brother and sister being raised mostly by the couple and also by Alice. Alice and the couple treat George like a king in a castle and Betty more like Cinderella before she finds the slipper. She is made to be almost a maid for George. She picks up after him and never gets to do things for herself. She never gets treated with the same love that George gets. To most of the immediate family watching this it always seemed so cruel. Meanwhile Alice grows more attached to George like he is her own son even though it is her nephew. And it’s apparent that she doesn’t feel the same for her adopted sister and almost has a hatred for her.

Fast forward to when both George and Betty are 9 years old. The couple decides they are old and want to retire out of the country. They have a house completely paid off where Alice can live and now she will solely take care of Betty and George( when he’s not with is father). They decide this is the way to go and leave Betty to be raised by Alice now. Now that Alice’s parents are out fo the country, she is on her own. At the same time George’s dad finally gets custody back of his son that he has been fighting for and he is allowed 50/50 custody. George’s mom still continues to allow him to live with Alice on her portion of her custody and only visiting with him. So George essential lives with his dad and then with his aunt Alice 50/50.

Now is when the treatment of Betty starts to get worse. Betty isn’t allowed to have friends come over after school or go visit her friends either. But George is…. Betty barely gets a birthday cake for her birthday while George gets an a huge party. George has become accustomed to Betty basically being his servant. She picks up after him. Does all the household chores. Wakes up at 5 am to do chores while George and Alice sleep and then puts clothes out for him to wear. So George is now starting to treat Betty badly because he sees how Alice treats her and this is what he thinks is right. (We can’t blame George he is being brainwashed by Alice to think this is appropriate behavior). During the summer she is forced to stay in her upstairs room all day while Alice is at work. She can’t leave even to go pee. This is during 100 degree weather with no air conditioning. This is enforced by George and the fear of getting in trouble when Alice gets off work.

Bettys treatment has gotten so bad that she contemplates running away and even hurting herself to end the suffering. And when she brings up that she wants to hurt herself to Alice, Alice scoffs and just asks her how she thinks she would do it. Alice has also been heard stating ( which she says is a joke) that she has been trying to kill Betty by keeping her in her hot room with no air conditioning or fan. There is such a double standard of care between George and Betty it is unbelievable. Betty confides all this story to me, George’s stepmom.

I want to report this as child abuse but here’s the plot twist…. Alice works for the social services that I would need to call to report child abuse. She is a mandated reporter who has been treating this innocent child like trash.

Should Betty and George be removed from Alice’s care? George’s dad is willing to take him on full time but knows that George is really attached to his aunt Alice now. Can George’s dad file a restraining order against his sister Alice so that she can’t have contact with him anymore? CPS will be called for the safety of Betty but I want advice on how to get George away from Alice without traumatizing him because he cares for Alice deeply but it’s obvious that she should not be able to take care of him if she is being abusive to other children in his presence. I feel this behavior of Alice should be considered child abuse but is it enough to have the kids removed from the house?
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
I have a family member who is now an 11 year old female that was adopted by her distant relative at the age of 2 after her own mother fell into drugs and had sexual and physically assaulted this little girl. We will call this little girl Betty. She was adopted by this couple who had grown kids, the youngest being around 30 years old.

By happen chance this couple also watched their own grandson so much that he basically lived at this house with Betty. Betty was only a few months younger than their grandson. This couple who adopted Betty also had their adult 30 year old daughter living with them as well. So this adult daughter who we will call Alice grew very attached to her nephew who practically lived there. The reason the nephew, who we will call George, stays at this house so much is because custody was taken away from the dad and given to George’s mother. And George’s mother just let Alice and the grandparents take him all the time. Meanwhile the father of George had wrongly been stripped of his rights to his son. We will get back to this later though.

So George and Betty are essentially living together almost like brother and sister being raised mostly by the couple and also by Alice. Alice and the couple treat George like a king in a castle and Betty more like Cinderella before she finds the slipper. She is made to be almost a maid for George. She picks up after him and never gets to do things for herself. She never gets treated with the same love that George gets. To most of the immediate family watching this it always seemed so cruel. Meanwhile Alice grows more attached to George like he is her own son even though it is her nephew. And it’s apparent that she doesn’t feel the same for her adopted sister and almost has a hatred for her.

Fast forward to when both George and Betty are 9 years old. The couple decides they are old and want to retire out of the country. They have a house completely paid off where Alice can live and now she will solely take care of Betty and George( when he’s not with is father). They decide this is the way to go and leave Betty to be raised by Alice now. Now that Alice’s parents are out fo the country, she is on her own. At the same time George’s dad finally gets custody back of his son that he has been fighting for and he is allowed 50/50 custody. George’s mom still continues to allow him to live with Alice on her portion of her custody and only visiting with him. So George essential lives with his dad and then with his aunt Alice 50/50.

Now is when the treatment of Betty starts to get worse. Betty isn’t allowed to have friends come over after school or go visit her friends either. But George is…. Betty barely gets a birthday cake for her birthday while George gets an a huge party. George has become accustomed to Betty basically being his servant. She picks up after him. Does all the household chores. Wakes up at 5 am to do chores while George and Alice sleep and then puts clothes out for him to wear. So George is now starting to treat Betty badly because he sees how Alice treats her and this is what he thinks is right. (We can’t blame George he is being brainwashed by Alice to think this is appropriate behavior). During the summer she is forced to stay in her upstairs room all day while Alice is at work. She can’t leave even to go pee. This is during 100 degree weather with no air conditioning. This is enforced by George and the fear of getting in trouble when Alice gets off work.

Bettys treatment has gotten so bad that she contemplates running away and even hurting herself to end the suffering. And when she brings up that she wants to hurt herself to Alice, Alice scoffs and just asks her how she thinks she would do it. Alice has also been heard stating ( which she says is a joke) that she has been trying to kill Betty by keeping her in her hot room with no air conditioning or fan. There is such a double standard of care between George and Betty it is unbelievable. Betty confides all this story to me, George’s stepmom.

I want to report this as child abuse but here’s the plot twist…. Alice works for the social services that I would need to call to report child abuse. She is a mandated reporter who has been treating this innocent child like trash.

Should Betty and George be removed from Alice’s care? George’s dad is willing to take him on full time but knows that George is really attached to his aunt Alice now. Can George’s dad file a restraining order against his sister Alice so that she can’t have contact with him anymore? CPS will be called for the safety of Betty but I want advice on how to get George away from Alice without traumatizing him because he cares for Alice deeply but it’s obvious that she should not be able to take care of him if she is being abusive to other children in his presence. I feel this behavior of Alice should be considered child abuse but is it enough to have the kids removed from the house?
What state?
Have you contacted the girls parents to let them know she is being neglected/emotionally abused?
Did the father tell his son to stop being a lazy, nasty little jerk to his Aunt Betty?
Has the father taught his son right from wrong? Taught him to treat others with caring and respect...or is it just easier for the two of you to place the blame on his Aunt Alice?
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
Since Alice works for social services I would consider contacting CPS in another county and asking them for advice as to how to proceed. That way you can talk to someone candidly who won't be working with Alice.

In addition, you could offer to take Betty on the weeks that George is in your household, with the excuss of giving Alice a "break". If Alice really cares so little for Betty she might welcome that, and that would give his dad the opportunity to nip George's behavior in the bud.

As far as George being traumatized by not seeing Alice anymore...it will be important to get him into counseling ASAP.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If you are truly concerned for the welfare of the child, contact the police and let them investigate.
I think that the police would be likely to refer them to CPS/Social Services. I have never observed mandated reporters (particularly schools) get the police involved.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I think that the police would be likely to refer them to CPS/Social Services. I have never observed mandated reporters (particularly schools) get the police involved.
You don't think the police would contact them about a child being locked in an upstairs room with no a/c on a 100+ degree day? Outside of that, I may be inclinded to agree with you.
 
What state?
Have you contacted the girls parents to let them know she is being neglected/emotionally abused?
Did the father tell his son to stop being a lazy, nasty little jerk to his Aunt Betty?
Has the father taught his son right from wrong? Taught him to treat others with caring and respect...or is it just easier for the two of you to place the blame on his Aunt Alice?
Ya the father has just been able to be more involved in his life. And when he’s with his father is a very caring and respectful child. Only recently did he realize how is was acting while with his aunt Alice. Alice Is definitely the problem but now he will be having to fight with George’s actual mom so that she doesn’t send George to Alice when she is the one who is supposed to be watching him when his not with his father.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Ya the father has just been able to be more involved in his life. And when he’s with his father is a very caring and respectful child. Only recently did he realize how is was acting while with his aunt Alice. Alice Is definitely the problem but now he will be having to fight with George’s actual mom so that she doesn’t send George to Alice when she is the one who is supposed to be watching him when his not with his father.
What state? No one can really assist if you don't provide the state.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You don't think the police would contact them about a child being locked in an upstairs room with no a/c on a 100+ degree day? Outside of that, I may be inclinded to agree with you.
Well, OP didn't say she was locked in, only that she was told to stay there. However yes, you could be right that the police would be interested in that.
 

commentator

Senior Member
I am sorry, but this one doesn't scan at all for me. Sounds like somebody is trying to write a rather bad novel. ILet's see, they're in California, and Alice works for CPS, it's been going on for years. So why haven't you reported her? Long since. Let's see, she won't even let the girl out of the room, though she's not there, Who the heck is in charge? So the children are unattended? Huh? Not even to pee? What a mess! It doesn't make sense and it doesn't sound true. Report it and stop watching it go on all these years like you claim to have.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I am sorry, but this one doesn't scan at all for me. Sounds like somebody is trying to write a rather bad novel. ILet's see, they're in California, and Alice works for CPS, it's been going on for years. So why haven't you reported her? Long since. Let's see, she won't even let the girl out of the room, though she's not there, Who the heck is in charge? So the children are unattended? Huh? Not even to pee? What a mess! It doesn't make sense and it doesn't sound true. Report it and stop watching it go on all these years like you claim to have.
Thank you for saying what several of us were thinking.

This post simply does not ring true. If the OP is not lying, then it's entirely possible that the girl is lying.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I am sorry, but this one doesn't scan at all for me. Sounds like somebody is trying to write a rather bad novel. ILet's see, they're in California, and Alice works for CPS, it's been going on for years. So why haven't you reported her? Long since. Let's see, she won't even let the girl out of the room, though she's not there, Who the heck is in charge? So the children are unattended? Huh? Not even to pee? What a mess! It doesn't make sense and it doesn't sound true. Report it and stop watching it go on all these years like you claim to have.
All that's missing is the "Once Upon A Time".


Dad is going to have to come up with a better story to change the current custody order.
 
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