Its me again

[shari36]

What is the name of your state?Oregon

I know its getting old BUT Im still not sure what to do... So I will ask the question, what would you do if you were in my situation??? I know I do have a lawyer, obviously he is not giving me any guidance.. I have only spoken with him maybe four or five times. Yes I retained him, I felt at our initial consultation he could help me.. Now Im not so sure...Should I be feeling this confused about what I can and cant go for in court? I thought in the begining I had no choice but to give some type of visitation and try to meet half way. That didnt work out. He wants what he wants and there is no room for ?. Yes from what I have read here, He is going to get some type of visitaion.. Unless I dicide to fight any contact.. On what grounds?? Abandonment or extreme parental disinterest,failure of reasonable efforts,failure to maintain contact and failure to provide support please correct me if Im wrong on this.. why would I want to deny him his flesh and blood? Well I have nine years worth of reasons to tell you why.. Am I one of those controling (bleeps) no I am very much for second chances and all that Bleep. My child hasnt been without a father, just the biological one. There was nothing I could do about it at the time.. This time I want to do something..
shari

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Oregon

I know its getting old BUT Im still not sure what to do... So I will ask the question, what would you do if you were in my situation??? I know I do have a lawyer, obviously he is not giving me any guidance.. I have only spoken with him maybe four or five times. Yes I retained him, I felt at our initial consultation he could help me.. Now Im not so sure...Should I be feeling this confused about what I can and cant go for in court? I thought in the begining I had no choice but to give some type of visitation and try to meet half way. That didnt work out. He wants what he wants and there is no room for ?. Yes from what I have read here, He is going to get some type of visitaion.. Unless I dicide to fight any contact.. On what grounds?? Abandonment or extreme parental disinterest,failure of reasonable efforts,failure to maintain contact and failure to provide support please correct me if Im wrong on this.. why would I want to deny him his flesh and blood? Well I have nine years worth of reasons to tell you why.. Am I one of those controling (bleeps) no I am very much for second chances and all that Bleep. My child hasnt been without a father, just the biological one. There was nothing I could do about it at the time.. This time I want to do something..
shari

Shari, people aren't going to respond to your posts unless you tell the whole story each time you start a new thread, or you go back to your old thread and add your new message there. People can't remember your situation. I just went back and looked at your old threads, but that took a lot of time.

Here is my take on your situation.

Dad was awol for 9 years...and rarely paid child support. You filed for an increase and got it. This ticked dad off so he filed for custody/visitation/child support. He may also have been interested in a relationship with the child. You have tried to be cooperative and fair but things aren't working out very well....and he hasn't actually tried to visit the child while the case has been going on.....nor is he paying his child support.

The lawyer is telling you that you can ask for whatever you want. That is absolutely correct. He is also telling you what the judge typically orders. He is doing that so that you will be prepared in case the judge doesn't agree with your thinking.

Dad doesn't have an attorney to advise him so odds are its going to be very difficult to get him to finally sign anything. It sounds to me like you need to take it in front of the judge...with what has been agreed upon so far, and with the areas that are giving you problems...and let the judge decide.

 

[shari36]

Ldij thanks for your take on my situation.. Again I did not go after more support..Support enforsement said it was time to modify due to min wage increase after eight years. We the agency and I have contact oh every six months or so. They are and have been actively trying to get both back payments and current payments.. He still owes the state from back in 96 when I needed help.
I realize now that it is best to let this go to court so the judge can decide..
What exactly will the judge look at when making his decision?? Is he only going to rely on the last order my attorney had drawn up? Or will he give us somethings totally different?/ Thanks
sorry about not recaping my storey
Shari