Just A Few Questions That Hit Me

[Peanuts200788]

What is the name of your state? GA

I have had several phone calls from old acquaintances that are associated with my X and his friends trying to find out information from me; I know he's asked them to call to find out information because I refuse contact with him. If I can prove he's doing this, is it harrassment? We keep a record of all the calls like this that come in with the number and time and everything

A friend told me it would be good to get a restraining order against him or something, but I haven't because he hasn't done anything to me to make me feel threatened except threaten to take away my child, and legally it's not his child yet so I don't have that to worry about til a later date....but my question is should I file one against him? I don't think it warrants it, but a friend seems to think it would look better in the long run...why that is I don't know

Also...he has a myspace account that he'd given me the password to when we were dating...would it be wrong to check it occasionally to see what he's up to? If I did find evidence of things such as drug use, etc. would that be admissible in court or could I myself get into trouble because I snooped?

I've asked the doctor's office not to give out any information about me to anyone but ME, but I do know he knows where it is...unfortunately it is now in walking distance from where he's staying for the time being but if he were to come in asking for information about me...it would be illegal for them to tell him anything including information about dr's appts right?

I'm not worried about anything it's just I think of questions and have this desire to have them answered...I want to know as much as possible and educate myself as much as I can about my situation.

 

[majomom1]

What is the name of your state? GA

I have had several phone calls from old acquaintances that are associated with my X and his friends trying to find out information from me; I know he's asked them to call to find out information because I refuse contact with him. If I can prove he's doing this, is it harrassment? We keep a record of all the calls like this that come in with the number and time and everything

Keep track, but don't worry. You can possibly call them as witnesses later... if needed.

A friend told me it would be good to get a restraining order against him or something, but I haven't because he hasn't done anything to me to make me feel threatened except threaten to take away my child, and legally it's not his child yet so I don't have that to worry about til a later date....but my question is should I file one against him? I don't think it warrants it, but a friend seems to think it would look better in the long run...why that is I don't know

I wouldn't. This just adds to the conflict... you don't really need that.

Also...he has a myspace account that he'd given me the password to when we were dating...would it be wrong to check it occasionally to see what he's up to? If I did find evidence of things such as drug use, etc. would that be admissible in court or could I myself get into trouble because I snooped?

No. DO NOT USE HIS PASSWORD. Take the high road and leave it alone. I doubt he would put any evidence for drug use on the internet, and snooping could put a question mark on your character.

I've asked the doctor's office not to give out any information about me to anyone but ME, but I do know he knows where it is...unfortunately it is now in walking distance from where he's staying for the time being but if he were to come in asking for information about me...it would be illegal for them to tell him anything including information about dr's appts right?

They cannot tell him anything.

I'm not worried about anything it's just I think of questions and have this desire to have them answered...I want to know as much as possible and educate myself as much as I can about my situation.

Save your energy for when you DO have something to worry about.

Just my opinion.

 

[Peanuts200788]

Just my opinion.

you said why would he put anything pertaining to drug use on the internet? Because he's that stupid...he doesn't think anything can be held against him.

 

[Isis1]

fyi....i have a myspace account, and yes i have seen people post pictures of themselves doing drugs with friends. so yes...there are people out there that stupid.

but as long as you have your own myspace account, veiwing a photoalbum is pretty public. you wouldn't need his password to see them.

 

[Peanuts200788]

well see here's the thing...I deleted my myspace account...

Why? you might ask...

Well because i didn't want anything to say anything or have anything posted on my account that could be turned around and used against me later...

So still my question is: if he has anything like drug use or something like that should i save it or just let it go?

 

[Indiana Filer]

fyi....i have a myspace account, and yes i have seen people post pictures of themselves doing drugs with friends. so yes...there are people out there that stupid.
.

I have clients who put up pictures of themselves doing drugs while they're on probation. As a probation officer, I LOVE myspace.

 

[Peanuts200788]

I have clients who put up pictures of themselves doing drugs while they're on probation. As a probation officer, I LOVE myspace.

me personally...i think deleting myspace was the best thing i EVER did! it causes more problems in peoples' lives i think than it helps them

 

[majomom1]

well see here's the thing...I deleted my myspace account...

Why? you might ask...

Well because i didn't want anything to say anything or have anything posted on my account that could be turned around and used against me later...

So still my question is: if he has anything like drug use or something like that should i save it or just let it go?

If you use his password to access HIS myspace account--- he can say that YOU loaded the picture on his profile.

AND using his password is a form of dishonesty (like a lie) that could make ALL of your evidence, claims, journals etc... subject to question.

 

[Peanuts200788]

and if i dont and there are still pictures and evidence? do i print that out or just let it go?

 

[majomom1]

and if i dont and there are still pictures and evidence? do i print that out or just let it go?

If you can get it through honest, legal means... then by all means, print it. I highly doubt any of that would be useful in a "custody" issue... unless you can see YOUR kids in the picture! And if you don't act on it -- then after time has passed, it will be seen as not a big issue AT THE TIME... so why would it be an issue later.

So I guess what I am saying is WHAT do you want to be able to do with it?

It is good to be prepared and have knowledge... but don't go over board. If you monitor and snoop in every aspect of his life, it might come back to bite you. Too much... is a form of controlling and will create more conflict.

 

[Peanuts200788]

If you can get it through honest, legal means... then by all means, print it. I highly doubt any of that would be useful in a "custody" issue... unless you can see YOUR kids in the picture! And if you don't act on it -- then after time has passed, it will be seen as not a big issue AT THE TIME... so why would it be an issue later.

So I guess what I am saying is WHAT do you want to be able to do with it?

It is good to be prepared and have knowledge... but don't go over board. If you monitor and snoop in every aspect of his life, it might come back to bite you. Too much... is a form of controlling and will create more conflict.

Thank you for this...and i think deep in my mind i already knew what you were telling me but i just needed to hear it from someone else...