wileybunch
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV
DH received a call last Sunday from the father of his 14yo DD's BF (who is 15) that the boy's mother had found semi-nude pics the kids had traded ie. sexting. No private parts were exposed. "Lingerie shots" is probably the appropriate term. They apparently have a suggestive quality to them. StepDD has been a tom boy for so long, this is totally out of character, but she and this boy have been telling each other they love the other since soon after getting back from their youth thing in July and texting/emailing/phoning. The boy lives in the Salt Lake City area. We met him on a trip up in late July and stepDD's mom took her up to see him last weekend, I think it was. The kids met in July at a youth conference. We live in Las Vegas area. Boy's parents are divorced and Mom is remarried, but Mom called Dad and they worked together to deal with it and Dad was the one that made the phone calls to my stepDD's parents. He called my DH first and they decided between them that he would call stepDD's Mom because DH felt it would just turn into a war or whatever. His ex has never discussed difficulties with the kids, purposely excludes DH from that sort of thing. She also likes to be her kids' friend, be the popular parent. DH told the Dad to let the ex know he'd talked to my DH, too.
DH waited for Mom to call him back that day after she'd digested things, but she did not and she likely did not plan to so DH called her the next day.
In a nutshell, Mom took DD's cell phone away for a month. Mom supposedly also let DD know this is against the law. Mom asked Dad if he knew how to disable sending pics on the phone, but didn't mention if she was actually going to pursue that or how serious she was about it, if when she got the phone back if she was going to make absolutely certain she had ability to send pics, whether it was by not having a camera phone or another block on the phone or service.
DH asked if Mom had taken away internet access for a time and Mom said she'd think about it. Dad gave it some time and asked again and Mom said she hadn't decided yet. DH asked (in an email while trading vacation plan info) what she had decided for consequences and Mom's answer was:
As for her punishment, we discussed it twice. I told you what I am going to do, and also told you it’s your business how you handle it on your end. No need to kick a dead horse. Let’s move on.
Sure enough, DH can have his own set of consequences and had told Mom he would be restricting internet because anything they could do texting they can do on the computer. DH also feels the relationship with this boy should be "cooled". Mom has made no movement in that direction. When DH spoke to DD that other night, he let her know this isn't the boy she will marry, it's OK to move on, and she looked at him like he had 3 heads. In her mind, they are most definitely getting married. She is 14. This is her first boyfriend and she's been taught pretty solid values through her church involvement and would have looked down her nose at anyone that did what she did just a few months ago.
So anyway, would you "move on" as far as Mom is concerned? Or would you follow up and ask specifics -- ie. did you restrict internet, will you be restricting the photo texting capability when she gets the phone back, has DD14 been told to not have contact with "THE BOY" for some period of time, etc.
As I said in the post title, this is more of a parenting issue, not a legal one. Mom's an extremely ****y person and thinks she answers to no one so I really don't think she will answer him even if he asks specifically. Granted, she should, parents should work together on something like this (like the BF's parents did), but there isn't a hard and fast legal issue here to deal with, either, so asking your opinion from a parent and/or common sense viewpoint.
P.S. DH is not allowing contact with the BF for the foreseeable future or internet access except for homework (supervised). The cell phone is one her mom got her so if mom gives it back to DD and DH thinks it's too soon, he will just make her park it when she comes to our home. Of course then this makes DH the bad guy and will further help Mom's quest that this past summer be the last one DD has to come to Dad's (since they have 50/50 in the summer and she told DD again this year this will probably be her last year
).
DH received a call last Sunday from the father of his 14yo DD's BF (who is 15) that the boy's mother had found semi-nude pics the kids had traded ie. sexting. No private parts were exposed. "Lingerie shots" is probably the appropriate term. They apparently have a suggestive quality to them. StepDD has been a tom boy for so long, this is totally out of character, but she and this boy have been telling each other they love the other since soon after getting back from their youth thing in July and texting/emailing/phoning. The boy lives in the Salt Lake City area. We met him on a trip up in late July and stepDD's mom took her up to see him last weekend, I think it was. The kids met in July at a youth conference. We live in Las Vegas area. Boy's parents are divorced and Mom is remarried, but Mom called Dad and they worked together to deal with it and Dad was the one that made the phone calls to my stepDD's parents. He called my DH first and they decided between them that he would call stepDD's Mom because DH felt it would just turn into a war or whatever. His ex has never discussed difficulties with the kids, purposely excludes DH from that sort of thing. She also likes to be her kids' friend, be the popular parent. DH told the Dad to let the ex know he'd talked to my DH, too.
DH waited for Mom to call him back that day after she'd digested things, but she did not and she likely did not plan to so DH called her the next day.
In a nutshell, Mom took DD's cell phone away for a month. Mom supposedly also let DD know this is against the law. Mom asked Dad if he knew how to disable sending pics on the phone, but didn't mention if she was actually going to pursue that or how serious she was about it, if when she got the phone back if she was going to make absolutely certain she had ability to send pics, whether it was by not having a camera phone or another block on the phone or service.
DH asked if Mom had taken away internet access for a time and Mom said she'd think about it. Dad gave it some time and asked again and Mom said she hadn't decided yet. DH asked (in an email while trading vacation plan info) what she had decided for consequences and Mom's answer was:
As for her punishment, we discussed it twice. I told you what I am going to do, and also told you it’s your business how you handle it on your end. No need to kick a dead horse. Let’s move on.
Sure enough, DH can have his own set of consequences and had told Mom he would be restricting internet because anything they could do texting they can do on the computer. DH also feels the relationship with this boy should be "cooled". Mom has made no movement in that direction. When DH spoke to DD that other night, he let her know this isn't the boy she will marry, it's OK to move on, and she looked at him like he had 3 heads. In her mind, they are most definitely getting married. She is 14. This is her first boyfriend and she's been taught pretty solid values through her church involvement and would have looked down her nose at anyone that did what she did just a few months ago.
So anyway, would you "move on" as far as Mom is concerned? Or would you follow up and ask specifics -- ie. did you restrict internet, will you be restricting the photo texting capability when she gets the phone back, has DD14 been told to not have contact with "THE BOY" for some period of time, etc.
As I said in the post title, this is more of a parenting issue, not a legal one. Mom's an extremely ****y person and thinks she answers to no one so I really don't think she will answer him even if he asks specifically. Granted, she should, parents should work together on something like this (like the BF's parents did), but there isn't a hard and fast legal issue here to deal with, either, so asking your opinion from a parent and/or common sense viewpoint.
P.S. DH is not allowing contact with the BF for the foreseeable future or internet access except for homework (supervised). The cell phone is one her mom got her so if mom gives it back to DD and DH thinks it's too soon, he will just make her park it when she comes to our home. Of course then this makes DH the bad guy and will further help Mom's quest that this past summer be the last one DD has to come to Dad's (since they have 50/50 in the summer and she told DD again this year this will probably be her last year
).
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