MI- custody when one parent moves away suddenly.

[anisaerah]

She changed her story throughout this thread and has decided by dad moving he is abandoning the child. No one hung her, drew or quartered her.

You know, I lurk here a lot and generally have a lot of respect for you, but I really don't understand you attacking me here.

Why have court orders if one is expected to never follow them if one parent ups and leaves?

 

[Just Blue]

Well, now that you've basically been hung, drawn and quartered, please allow me to actually answer the dratted question.

You are NOT required to do ANYTHING outside of your current order.

Even if.

No, I haven't read your post history.

Nope ...She really does not have to do anything outside the CO. But based on her 1st POST?? If Dad is able and willing to pay for Jr's airfare why would she have an issue to make sure her CHILD is able to spend time with Dad?

 

[anisaerah]

Nope ...She really does not have to do anything outside the CO. But based on her 1st POST?? If Dad is able and willing to pay for Jr's airfare why would she have an issue to make sure her CHILD is able to spend time with Dad?

If he wants to change when his parenting time is, can he not file in court for it?

What if he can't afford the airfare?

Will I lose custody for not paying for it?

 

[Just Blue]

If he wants to change when his parenting time is, can he not file in court for it?

Yes. He can.

 

[anisaerah]

Yes. He can.

If anything, it's his moving away from her twice for no reason that's going to contribute to the issues she already has.

 

[anisaerah]

My understanding is that sending one's child off to another state without a court order describing when parenting time begins and ends is a bad idea.

In fact, I've seen folks recommend that here.

 

[Ohiogal]

If he wants to change when his parenting time is, can he not file in court for it?

What if he can't afford the airfare?

Will I lose custody for not paying for it?

No one said you had to pay for airfare. No one said he could just change parenting time. The POINTS are as follows:
1) If he sends you a plane ticket for HIS TIME, you send the child regardless of whether he shows up at your front door;
2) You answer his calls as you are able and don't ignore them just because the court order doesn't state you MUST answer;
3) You educate yourself and your child that dad has MOVED but not abandoned her;
4) If your child has issues, get her into counseling.
5) Be the bigger person and don't portray yourself in the way you have on this thread.

 

[Proserpina]

If he wants to change when his parenting time is, can he not file in court for it?

Yes he can.

So you should be prepared for a long-distance schedule, with Skype and/or phone/web visitation too.

Tread very, very carefully. And I do mean very carefully. There's no reason at all why Dad can't speak to her when he calls.

Now I'm going to ask you a question, since we've established that you don't have to do anything you're not ordered to do.

Does this mean you're going to stop buying tampons for your daughter because you read online that you can save money and use moss instead? Just like they used to do eons ago? I mean your court order doesn't say you have to provide tampons, right?

(others: I'm not even kidding there)

 

[single317dad]

You, indeed, are not compelled to do anything contrary to your court order.

Refusing to work with Dad, who would presumably provide transportation in the form of an airline ticket, is contrary to your duty as the custodial parent to foster and facilitate the relationship between NCP and child, as OG stated in post #2.

That Dad moved before he had a job doesn't mean he has nowhere to live and won't have means to feed and shelter his child on his time.

That Dad has an open warrant may be relevant. Why is it now an issue when it wasn't before?

Moving isn't abandonment. The child is in the care of a (presumably) capable parent, not abandoned.

I'll leave judgment to others. Those are the facts.

Does this mean you're going to stop buying tampons for your daughter because you read online that you can save money and use moss instead? Just like they used to do eons ago?

Sheesh. Where was this information twenty years ago? I could have saved a small fortune.

 

[Proserpina]

My understanding is that sending one's child off to another state without a court order describing when parenting time begins and ends is a bad idea.

In fact, I've seen folks recommend that here.

Yeap, you're correct.

 

[anisaerah]

1) If he sends you a plane ticket for HIS TIME, you send the child regardless of whether he shows up at your front door;.

OK. What he's demanding is every break from school and all but one week of the summer.
Am I really required to put her on a plane when it's clear that he will not return her when his court ordered parenting time is up, and there is no return ticket scheduled for the proper date?

 

[Ohiogal]

OK. What he's demanding is every break from school and all but one week of the summer.
Am I really required to put her on a plane when it's clear that he will not return her when his court ordered parenting time is up, and there is no return ticket scheduled for the proper date?

Per your court order, the receiving parent picks up which means you. So file in court. Until then, if he sends a ticket for his time, YOU SEND HER. Then you are responsible for retrieval until said time as the court order changes.

ETA: The court order is not there just for your benefit. Until it is change, you both deal. If he keeps the child past his time, that could be contempt. File to modify the court order.

 

[anisaerah]

Yes he can.

So you should be prepared for a long-distance schedule, with Skype and/or phone/web visitation too.

Tread very, very carefully. And I do mean very carefully. There's no reason at all why Dad can't speak to her when he calls.

Now I'm going to ask you a question, since we've established that you don't have to do anything you're not ordered to do.

Does this mean you're going to stop buying tampons for your daughter because you read online that you can save money and use moss instead? Just like they used to do eons ago? I mean your court order doesn't say you have to provide tampons, right?

(others: I'm not even kidding there)

I do plenty of things I'm not court ordered to do.
In fact, I've been an incredibly reasonable ex-wife for a while now, which is why this is a huge slap in the face.

I just wanted to know what I have the legal *right* to do, because he's making all kinds of noise about what I "have" to do because of our previous court order. I told him that if he provided transportation for the time he currently has, and provides proof of the round trip ticket, I will be happy to deliver her to the airport.

He is stating that I "have" to bring her to the airport, and that he "will" be taking her for all her breaks from school, when he can afford airfare. *That* is why I am posting.

 

[anisaerah]

Per your court order, the receiving parent picks up which means you. So file in court. Until then, if he sends a ticket for his time, YOU SEND HER. Then you are responsible for retrieval until said time as the court order changes.

ETA: The court order is not there just for your benefit. Until it is change, you both deal. If he keeps the child past his time, that could be contempt. File to modify the court order.

That's the thing. He is refusing to have "only" the parenting time in the current court order.

I told him if he wants a different schedule, he should file in court. (He would not agree to the schedule I suggested).

Am I really required to put her on a plane with a one way ticket (as he's done in the past), when he is saying that he intends to keep her longer than the court order says, especially when our court order specifies that he is to pick her up?

I don't want to alienate my daughter from her father, but I also don't want her to be withheld from me in another state, against our court order.

There's also the issue of him not having an address to serve him with the court paperwork, if I did bite the bullet and file to have the parenting plan changed to reflect the current circumstances.

 

[anisaerah]

You, indeed, are not compelled to do anything contrary to your court order.

Refusing to work with Dad, who would presumably provide transportation in the form of an airline ticket, is contrary to your duty as the custodial parent to foster and facilitate the relationship between NCP and child, as OG stated in post #2.

That Dad moved before he had a job doesn't mean he has nowhere to live and won't have means to feed and shelter his child on his time.

That Dad has an open warrant may be relevant. Why is it now an issue when it wasn't before?

I told dad that I would cooperate with putting her on a plane if he could give me proof of a round trip ticket for the correct dates. He is insisting that our court order automatically reverts to what it was before he moved back to MI from TN.

What do you mean by "wasn't an issue before"? The warrant was issued the second week of May.
He has stated to me that they do not have anywhere to live, have no jobs there, and are relying on donations from friends for the gas money to get to OR.