Missing Spouse Moved Abroad

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you been claiming her as a dependent on your income taxes? How much have you got extra in refunds? Might that have paid for an attonrey? You could have done a Do it Yourself divorce for about $200 10 years ago.

 

[johhele]

Have you been claiming her as a dependent on your income taxes? How much have you got extra in refunds? Might that have paid for an attonrey? You could have done a Do it Yourself divorce for about $200 10 years ago.

no we always filed separately and the marriage lasted only few months...

I know this whole story makes me look like an idiot but it's what I have done and I have no way to change it now... just I was hoping not to have to pay too much.
here why I didn't file 10 years ago (since everybody talks about that): she was a foreigner and she asked me to wait for few years not to be deported. I didn't have any reason not to do so, so I agreed. the agreement was that after 3-4 years she would take care of the whole divorce. At the time of the supposed divorce I was caught in some big personal problems and time went by. Of course she didn't divorce me and 2 years ago I again got in touch with her to finalize the matter. Then she disappeared and I discovered she went back to Australia.
so yes! I should have filed 10 years ago and I trusted a person who doesn't deserve anything. But she was my ex-wife and I didn't.

 

[LdiJ]

no we always filed separately and the marriage lasted only few months...

I know this whole story makes me look like an idiot but it's what I have done and I have no way to change it now... just I was hoping not to have to pay too much.
here why I didn't file 10 years ago (since everybody talks about that): she was a foreigner and she asked me to wait for few years not to be deported. I didn't have any reason not to do so, so I agreed. the agreement was that after 3-4 years she would take care of the whole divorce. At the time of the supposed divorce I was caught in some big personal problems and time went by. Of course she didn't divorce me and 2 years ago I again got in touch with her to finalize the matter. Then she disappeared and I discovered she went back to Australia.
so yes! I should have filed 10 years ago and I trusted a person who doesn't deserve anything. But she was my ex-wife and I didn't.

You know, its possible that she has divorced you now. 10 years is a long time and its possible that she may have wanted to remarry herself. She could have just as easily served you by publication also. Therefore you might want to check the courthouse in CA where she last resided. You can also try tracking her down in Australia.

There are services out there than for a couple of hundred dollars will track down just about anybody....if you can find her you may find out that you are already divorced.

 

[johhele]

You know, its possible that she has divorced you now. 10 years is a long time and its possible that she may have wanted to remarry herself. She could have just as easily served you by publication also. Therefore you might want to check the courthouse in CA where she last resided. You can also try tracking her down in Australia.

There are services out there than for a couple of hundred dollars will track down just about anybody....if you can find her you may find out that you are already divorced.

I don't think she divorced me but I will check. Thanks for the suggestion, I didn't think about it.
Do you think that tracking her down in Australia will be fast and inexpensive? I don't think so. It still may be cheaper to serve her with papers in CA and proceed with the divorce....
thanks

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: I don't think she divorced me but I will check.

A: There are about a hundred thousand jurisdictions where she could've gotten divorced. Please post back, in alphabetical order, the ones you will check.


Q: Do you think that tracking her down in Australia will be fast and inexpensive?

A: This is a joke question, right?


Q: It still may be cheaper to serve her with papers in CA and proceed with the divorce....

A: After all these posts...you are starting to see the light!

 

[johhele]

Q: I don't think she divorced me but I will check.

A: There are about a hundred thousand jurisdictions where she could've gotten divorced. Please post back, in alphabetical order, the ones you will check.
A: as far as I know in US she could have only gotten divorced in the county where she has lived after the separation and where we have lived together because you need to be resident for a while in a jurisdiction before filing there(I checked that , she hasn't moved). Obviously if she had filed in Australia... there is no way to know it.


Q: Do you think that tracking her down in Australia will be fast and inexpensive?

A: This is a joke question, right?
A: yes it was my answer to the suggestion to track her down in Australia... very unlikely


Q: It still may be cheaper to serve her with papers in CA and proceed with the divorce....

A: After all these posts...you are starting to see the light!
A: I saw the light from the beginning but I still can't afford a lawyer. Thanks for the sarcasm

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: as far as I know in US she could have only gotten divorced in the county where she has lived after the separation and where we have lived together because you need to be resident for a while in a jurisdiction before filing there(I checked that , she hasn't moved).

A: Unless she went to Nevada for 90 days and established residency sometime in the last ten years and got a divorce there.

 

[johhele]

Q: as far as I know in US she could have only gotten divorced in the county where she has lived after the separation and where we have lived together because you need to be resident for a while in a jurisdiction before filing there(I checked that , she hasn't moved).

A: Unless she went to Nevada for 90 days and established residency sometime in the last ten years and got a divorce there.

what for? not to let me know? a little contorted

 

[seniorjudge]

what for? not to let me know? a little contorted

The point is, you do not know where to start looking for your wife, much less which jurisdiction she may have gotten divorced in (if she even did get divorced).

 

[johhele]

The point is, you do not know where to start looking for your wife, much less which jurisdiction she may have gotten divorced in (if she even did get divorced).

what I know is - and maybe I haven't been clear about it - that she was working in California in the same place for 10 years and at her office they told me she left and went straight to Australia. That is her last address, the only one she ever gave me. Of course she still may have gone somewhere to divorce me but I am certain she didn't want to spend the money.
I agree with your point... which was my first issue: I do not know where to start looking for my wife.
Why I do need a lawyer to serve her the paper in California? It's a sort of cheating, because I know she is not there and she has no way to oppose my divorce or even to know about it. Can I do this on my own since it's just a "pro forma"?
Is the court obliged to find her? I don't think so.

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Why I do need a lawyer to serve her the paper in California?

A: Who said you needed to do that?


Q: Can I do this on my own since it's just a "pro forma"?

A: I guess if you know how to do a pro se divorce with publication in your neck of the woods, then go for it. Otherwise, hire a lawyer.


Q: Is the court obliged to find her? I don't think so.

A: You are correct; but you would be surprised at the number of people who think the court knows the name, address, and telephone number of everyone in existence.