Mother spreading damaging libel; what is my recourse?

[quincy]

I really appreciate everyone's kind words and advice.

One more question! Although it is probably just a matter of personal opinion...

How do you think I should handle the letters/cards my mother continues to send to my daughter? Trash them/ignore them, or "Return To Sender"?

I really don't even want to see them in my mailbox, as it brings up the whole emotional issue again, so returning would get my point across, yet could also just piss her off enough to mess with me more. Thoughts?

Thank you.

This is a bit trickier. Legally all letters and cards that are addressed to your daughter belong to her, not you.

How old is your daughter again?

I would hand your daughter's mail to her and let your daughter do with the letters and cards what she pleases. She is not you and she could have very different feelings about her grandmother than you have about your mom. If you are close to your daughter, your daughter will let you know how she feels about this continued contact.

But I definitely would not trash these letters and cards, or ignore them, or do a "return to sender." If the cards and letters upset you, don't read them (you probably shouldn't anyway) and if the cards and letters upset your daughter, she doesn't have to read them and she can trash them, ignore them or return them.

This is outside the area of defamation law, by the way. The decision you make is ultimately up to you.

 

[tranquility]

I really appreciate everyone's kind words and advice.

One more question! Although it is probably just a matter of personal opinion...

How do you think I should handle the letters/cards my mother continues to send to my daughter? Trash them/ignore them, or "Return To Sender"?

I really don't even want to see them in my mailbox, as it brings up the whole emotional issue again, so returning would get my point across, yet could also just piss her off enough to mess with me more. Thoughts?

Thank you.

That is not a legal question. It is far different. I believe in the First Amendment for the country as a core value. I agree that mo' communication is mo' betta'. Send my communications back? Depending on how important, I will find another way to communicate and mention what you have done. My non-legal advice is to say, or understand, that all of us have may influences in our lives. Information sent from "Mother" is probably less influential than as from you or from Steven Colbert or from Taylor Swift or any of a number of gestaltic influences. Give your daughter they posts. Watch the Gilmore Girls. Cry sometimes. My wife love the Gilmore Girls. They make me cry sometimes. Stupid show. Stupid humor. I watch only to satisfy the woman. I remember I cried like a little girl at one. That is not to say making people cry is good. But, understanding life is good. Reading letters and cards from your Grandmother is almost assuredly going to give a small understanding of life.

Even if she is a crack whore who has murdered her dad an mom in order to influence her to be a crack whore to kill others; maybe even the President.

Is that the case? Is mother/grandmother a crack whore who is evil?

 

[quincy]

... Is mother/grandmother a crack whore who is evil?

I think if MY mother and grandmother were crack whores, their letters might be more interesting to read.

 

[vegannomnom]

I do understand that this is outside of the whole defamation thing, just thought I might ask here since there's already the whole details of the matter from my previous posts.

Knowing that my mother is abusive and manipulative, and from what I can understand probably suffers from narcissism and/or other disorders, it is not healthy or acceptable in my eyes to have contact with my child (almost 10). I had to stop let her speaking on the phone to her because "dear ol' Gma" would tell her what to do in regards to listening to me (not to), and not to have my husband ever pick her up from after school care, implying he might harm her, etc. (gma speaks so loudly everyone in the room can overhear). She has always tried to overstep her bounds and act like the parent, when she is clearly not - with no reason to, mind you. So, there has never seemed to be meaningful communication there; it is, in my heartfelt opinion anyway, just another way to try to control and hurt me. She has been nothing but a bad influence to daughter, sadly. Not imparting any kind of life understanding.

Daughter was disgusted when I showed her the text message that "gma" sent me because she knows its a lie. She has never been one to really even write back on her own, even before the severity of gma's cruelty came to the forefront - I always had to beg and nag for her to keep contact. After this, daughter did say she didn't want to talk to gma. I would never withhold the letters - I've always grudgingly (up until this last one sent - which she does know about; we've left it in the mailbox for now) given them to daughter. But after this incident she said she understands and doesn't seem to be upset when I said that we really shouldn't have contact with gma for these reasons.

So I guess I will ask daughter what she wants to do with them. But, I would prefer to block all contact with this miserable person if I am to ever try to get over this and truly end it, if any way possible.

She may be evil, but unfortunately not an interesting crack whore, lol. Just a sad drunk

 

[quincy]

... So I guess I will ask daughter what she wants to do with them ...

I would just hand them to your daughter as you would any letter/card addressed to her. But do what you want.

Good luck with your school work, vegannomnom.