Motion for Comtempt Please help

[About a Boy]

What is the name of your state? NC
My former lawyer received (and sent on to me) a Motion for Contempt from a lawyer representing my ex-girlfriend. Here's the quick story. We had a son. We worked out a deal through our lawyers for visitation and child support. I had to pay every paycheck a set amount.

After a few months of that,what I had realized before our agreement was even reached came true: I couldn't make enough to pay the bills I already had in addition to the child support.

Why did I take this deal? Because if I didn't she was going to drag me to court and I could afford that.

So I tried to get a second job. My first employer did not appreciate that and after a truly pathetic raise, I changed my availability to focus full time at my new job. That new job was as a waiter at a brand new resturaunt and business was so slow that I was spending more on gas in a week than earning there. Meanwhile, at my original job, my head manager told me he was going to put me back on my old availability and that if I didn't show up for those shifts, he'd fire me. Facing being fired or working a two week notice, I worked the two weeks and quit (so as not to get fired). That left me with the waiter job not paying me anything.

I decided I had to do something different. I chose to go back to school to learn some computer skills so I could finally get a real job and be able to pay all my bills PLUS child support. I am still in school, having moved back home with my parents to avoid living on the street.
My Ex knows all this but has nonetheless served me with this Motion for Contempt. I know it is because I have not paid her in about four months, but that is because I do not have a job. I am not earning money. My parents are nice enough to handle my bills for me right now.
I'm guessing my ex will probably say I quit my job on purpose so that I wouldn't have to pay her, but that is not the case. It was a bad situation that would have ended with me getting fired.
I'm trying to do the right thing now, but she doesn't seem to care or maybe she just doesn't believe I'm doing what I say. Doesn't really matter.
What does is that now I have a court case (no date yet) and I don't have a lawyer.
I tried calling Legal Aid, but she beat me to the punch. They said they could not help me because of a conflict of interest. So I'm turning to you guys on the forum for a last resort help.

Thanks in advance.

Oh, just wanted to add: I DO intend to pay all child support that I've missed, but I need to get finished with my classes so that I can have a chance to get a job that will allow me to pay bills and not perpetually be in debt or living check to check.
Just wanted to make my intentions clear. I AM a responsible person and father. I am not trying to duck my obligations to my son.What is the name of your state?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You have really no option. You ARE in contempt. The best anyone here can tell you is to offer the court proof of what you said here and proof that you are actively seeking employment.

 

[ceara19]

Oh, just wanted to add: I DO intend to pay all child support that I've missed, but I need to get finished with my classes so that I can have a chance to get a job that will allow me to pay bills and not perpetually be in debt or living check to check.
Just wanted to make my intentions clear. I AM a responsible person and father. I am not trying to duck my obligations to my son.What is the name of your state?

It all well and good that you want to better yourself, but you are NOT being a responsible PARENT by quitting your job to go back to school. The child isn't going to wait until you graduate to eat. That's not the way it works. The child has needs that need to be met NOW, not in a few years once you better yourself. You really need to be WORKING full-time and going to school part-time.

 

[Neal1421]

My parents are nice enough to handle my bills for me right now.

If your parents are paying all of your bills now, are they paying your child support? That is your most important financial obligation.

 

[About a Boy]

The child isn't going to wait until you graduate to eat

He is having no trouble doing that. And I can not work full time because half my day is spent caring for my son, after he gets out of preschool. So doing that, plus going to school does not allow for a full time job if you factor in eating and sleeping at some point. This is the routine. Go to school from 9am-12:30pm, pick up my son, and then keep him until his mom gets done with work at 5:30, then I go right back to school until 9 or 10 at night.

you are NOT being a responsible PARENT by quitting your job to go back to school

As for THAT, if you read my post, I thought I made it clear that, 1) it was either quit or be FIRED (and which one looks better on a resume), and 2) my other job was not EARNING me money, it was losing it for me in the gas just to go to and from work.

And to Neal1421: My parents have helped me out a lot, and have in fact paid the health insurance for my son- which is part of my obligation for his support. But unfortunately, they are not made of money and are doing all they can to help me already.

 

[fairisfair]

blah blah blah, suck it up, you are a father now. GET A JOB. pay your child support. If your school has to wait, then so be it. Or you can add sitting in a court room and later sitting in JAIL to your already busy schedule.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Ok, here's what I would do and I'm basing this on experience.

I'm not sure how you got served with no court date but anyway, when you find out when the date is, make sure you go cuz if you don't, then they'll issue a bench warrent for your arrest for failure to appear and suspend your license on the spot in court when they issue the warrant. You need to check on that summons though because I thought they had to have a court date on there.

Get up as much money as you can and take it with you to court and let the judge know you are able to pay X amount right then and will make additional payments each month, say I dunno, somewhere between $20 and $50 a month to catch up.

Or you can ask for it to be continued so you can get an attorney. I can give you the number to the NC Bar Referral Service. They will refer you to a family law attorney you can consult with but you'll have to pay a fee of about $35 or $30, provided they have one listed with them in your area that will do the reduced consult fee.

Also, get your butt down to the courthouse and file a motion to modify your child support order to reduce payments temporarily. You can do this yourself but I would ask an attorney to advise you on it. I'll provide the link you can download the form from or you can go to the courthouse and get it.

I would have let them fire me and drawn unemployment. They probably would have tried to fight it but that's what I would have done and explained I took a 2nd job to support my child and they knew that and still tried to put me on the other shift, knowing it conflicted with my second job. They probably would have ruled in your favor since you have child support to pay and you were trying to work 2 jobs to pay it.

You guys are going to need to work out something with child care. Maybe apply at DSS for assitance. Now, they don't pay for ALL of it but you will only pay a percentage based on your income. However, the waiting list in many counties is 1 yr to 2 yrs to get it. And you would have to find a daycare that accepts assitance from DSS but that's not hard. Then I would work full time first or 2nd shift and go to school part time or switch hours or something.

This website provides child support guidelines..

www.ncchildsupport.com

http://www.nccourts.org/Forms/Documents/981.pdf

This is the link to the NC statutes, child support is under the divorce section- Ch. 50

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl

Links to forms..

http://www.nccourts.org/Forms/FormSearchResults.asp

I looked for the form at www.nccourts.org but I'm not sure which one it is so it would probably be best to go the courthouse and tell them you want to petition the court to modify your child support and let them give you the correct form. You'll have to pay court costs and filing fees.

Um, that's all I can think of for now.

**edit: For Referrals by phone: (800) 662-7660 in state; (919) 677-8574 local Raleigh area and from out of state

http://www.ncbar.org/public/lrs/index.aspx

 

[ceara19]

He is having no trouble doing that. And I can not work full time because half my day is spent caring for my son, after he gets out of preschool. So doing that, plus going to school does not allow for a full time job if you factor in eating and sleeping at some point. This is the routine. Go to school from 9am-12:30pm, pick up my son, and then keep him until his mom gets done with work at 5:30, then I go right back to school until 9 or 10 at night.

I managed to work FULL-TIME, take a FULL course load AND take care of TWO pre-school aged children with absolutely NO help from their father (monetarily or otherwise). It was by no means EASY. I worked 8-4, spent the evenings with my kids and took my courses online after I put them to bed. I ate while I worked and got very little sleep. It's called SACRIFICE. I sacrificed MY needs to make sure that my CHILDREN'S needs were met.

Once you finish with your degree, are you going to pay for 100% of everything so that MOM can go back to school?

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I managed to work FULL-TIME, take a FULL course load AND take care of TWO pre-school aged children with absolutely NO help from their father (monetarily or otherwise). It was by no means EASY. I worked 8-4, spent the evenings with my kids and took my courses online after I put them to bed. I ate while I worked and got very little sleep. It's called SACRIFICE. I sacrificed MY needs to make sure that my CHILDREN'S needs were met.

You should give my ex a good talkin' to about how a REAL MOM gets it done.

 

[ceara19]

You should give my ex a good talkin' to about how a REAL MOM gets it done.

I don't think your ex would want to hear what I think about her. But YOU could definitely tell the OP a thing or 2 about living up to your financial responsibilities as a parent. You manage to pay an OUTRAGEOUS percentage in child support AND you have your kids around 50% of the time. At least I don't have to send 50-60% of my check to my ex.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I don't think your ex would want to hear what I think about her. But YOU could definitely tell the OP a thing or 2 about living up to your financial responsibilities as a parent. You manage to pay an OUTRAGEOUS percentage in child support AND you have your kids around 50% of the time. At least I don't have to send 50-60% of my check to my ex.

Yeah, that part does suck. And you never know- my ex seems to listen to EVERYONE but me. So if you ever want to become her bestest buddy, you know, to talk some sense into her (for my sake) let me know... I'll give you her name, and you can Google her... or you can just look her up on Myspace... or I can give you the link to one of her internet dating ads... wow, with all the time the woman spends in school and on the internet, I'm amazed that she can still find time to parent our kids... oh, wait, that's right... she DOESN'T.

 

[ezmarelda]

Yeah, that part does suck. And you never know- my ex seems to listen to EVERYONE but me. So if you ever want to become her bestest buddy, you know, to talk some sense into her (for my sake) let me know... I'll give you her name, and you can Google her... or you can just look her up on Myspace... or I can give you the link to one of her internet dating ads... wow, with all the time the woman spends in school and on the internet, I'm amazed that she can still find time to parent our kids... oh, wait, that's right... she DOESN'T.

I think you and ceara need to get together and teach a class "How to be a Spectacular Parent When Co-Parenting With an Idiot 101" ​

 

[ceara19]

I think you and ceara need to get together and teach a class "How to be a Spectacular Parent When Co-Parenting With an Idiot 101" ​

I'm "lucky". I don't have to deal with my ex much. When he gets a new girlfriend, it's inevitable that SHE will call, but he's not allowed to have any contact with me or the kids. Hopefully, the kids will get a REAL father for Christmas this year. We're working on the termination of my ex's rights and the adoption. We've already jumped the biggest hurdle (which is the fact that we're not actually married yet), so the rest is mostly a matter of technicalities!

 

[ezmarelda]

sorry to hijack...

I'm "lucky". I don't have to deal with my ex much. When he gets a new girlfriend, it's inevitable that SHE will call, but he's not allowed to have any contact with me or the kids. Hopefully, the kids will get a REAL father for Christmas this year. We're working on the termination of my ex's rights and the adoption. We've already jumped the biggest hurdle (which is the fact that we're not actually married yet), so the rest is mostly a matter of technicalities!

I wish you luck! You and your girls!
I think my daughter was happier then I was when I got married 3 weeks ago
And I am hoping to have things resolved next week in court...we have yet to hear from her father since he found out he has 2 felony warrants something tells me he won't be showing up for court

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Hey, congrats, eme!