Motion for Temporary Alimony

[sylviat]

What is the name of your state? DC

I recently went to a hearing for a motion for temporary alimony. My future ex was suing me for alimony based on the fact that he is disabled. We have one child. I had not seen or heard from him for a few years. He left the area almost 5 years ago and has now returned seeking a divorce, alimony, half my savings, 401k, etc. you name it. I have since bought a house. We lost the other one because he drugged/drunk everything up.

Although he does not work, he gets a check from SSI. Our daughter gets a small, tiny check as well (something is better than nothing). He told the judge that he thinks he deserves alimony considering I make over $50,000 a year and he's only getting $600+ in ssi. The judge looked at his and my history and declined his motion. I am elated! However, that was not good enough for him. He wants a trial so we're going to trial in February. My quesiton is, if a motion for temporary alimony is denied, does it usually get denied in the end? At least that's what people are telling me. I have a lawyer but he doesn't have a full time lawyer - just a lawyer helping him pro bono.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? DC

I recently went to a hearing for a motion for temporary alimony. My future ex was suing me for alimony based on the fact that he is disabled. We have one child. I had not seen or heard from him for a few years. He left the area almost 5 years ago

And why didn't you divorce him at that point?

and has now returned seeking a divorce, alimony, half my savings, 401k, etc. you name it. I have since bought a house.

Of course.

We lost the other one because he drugged/drunk everything up.

Bad behavior usually has nothing to do with deciding property settlements.

Although he does not work, he gets a check from SSI. Our daughter gets a small, tiny check as well (something is better than nothing). He told the judge that he thinks he deserves alimony considering I make over $50,000 a year and he's only getting $600+ in ssi. The judge looked at his and my history and declined his motion. I am elated! However, that was not good enough for him. He wants a trial so we're going to trial in February. My quesiton is, if a motion for temporary alimony is denied, does it usually get denied in the end? At least that's what people are telling me. I have a lawyer but he doesn't have a full time lawyer - just a lawyer helping him pro bono.

I could give you an accurate "guess' if he were a woman.

 

[sylviat]

I could give you an accurate "guess' if he were a woman.

I didn't divorce him at the time because he left the area after being released from prison for beating me up pretty badly. I couldn't find him to divorce him.

Question: Why doesn't bad behavior count? I can't imagine a judge making a person pay when the other party has emotionally, verbally and PHYSICALLY abused a person, spent all of the money, left the area and then comes back for compensation? AND, why would you be able to give an accurate answer if it was a woman?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? DC

I recently went to a hearing for a motion for temporary alimony. My future ex was suing me for alimony based on the fact that he is disabled. We have one child. I had not seen or heard from him for a few years. He left the area almost 5 years ago and has now returned seeking a divorce, alimony, half my savings, 401k, etc. you name it. I have since bought a house. We lost the other one because he drugged/drunk everything up.

Although he does not work, he gets a check from SSI. Our daughter gets a small, tiny check as well (something is better than nothing). He told the judge that he thinks he deserves alimony considering I make over $50,000 a year and he's only getting $600+ in ssi. The judge looked at his and my history and declined his motion. I am elated! However, that was not good enough for him. He wants a trial so we're going to trial in February. My quesiton is, if a motion for temporary alimony is denied, does it usually get denied in the end? At least that's what people are telling me. I have a lawyer but he doesn't have a full time lawyer - just a lawyer helping him pro bono.

You have a bigger problem than the alimony. You said you purchased a home during the marriage right?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? DC

I recently went to a hearing for a motion for temporary alimony. My future ex was suing me for alimony based on the fact that he is disabled. We have one child. I had not seen or heard from him for a few years. He left the area almost 5 years ago and has now returned seeking a divorce, alimony, half my savings, 401k, etc. you name it. I have since bought a house. We lost the other one because he drugged/drunk everything up.

Although he does not work, he gets a check from SSI. Our daughter gets a small, tiny check as well (something is better than nothing). He told the judge that he thinks he deserves alimony considering I make over $50,000 a year and he's only getting $600+ in ssi. The judge looked at his and my history and declined his motion. I am elated! However, that was not good enough for him. He wants a trial so we're going to trial in February. My quesiton is, if a motion for temporary alimony is denied, does it usually get denied in the end? At least that's what people are telling me. I have a lawyer but he doesn't have a full time lawyer - just a lawyer helping him pro bono.

Hon...you reallly need attorney...get one.
Laura

 

[acmb05]

I would think

He could give an accurate answer because the woman probably would have gotten the Alimony awarded to her.

But as Belize said you have more of a problem than the Alimony because he is entitled to half of the marital assets and if you bought a house and were still married even though seperated.

 

[sylviat]

He could give an accurate answer because the woman probably would have gotten the Alimony awarded to her.

But as Belize said you have more of a problem than the Alimony because he is entitled to half of the marital assets and if you bought a house and were still married even though seperated.

Actually, the judge said in our temporary hearing that HE was not entitled to half of the house since he clearly had no input in that house whatsoever. She made that perfectly clear to him.

 

[Bali Hai]

Actually, the judge said in our temporary hearing that HE was not entitled to half of the house since he clearly had no input in that house whatsoever. She made that perfectly clear to him.

And that decision would probably be be overturned upon appeal.

 

[LdiJ]

And that decision would probably be be overturned upon appeal.

Again, your biases are loud and clear. You provide no benefit to the posters when you give answers based on your own personal resentments.

 

[nextwife]

Actually, the judge said in our temporary hearing that HE was not entitled to half of the house since he clearly had no input in that house whatsoever. She made that perfectly clear to him.

That's bizarre. I've never heard of a female spouse needing to first contribute financially in order to be entitled to their share of any real estate acquired DURING a marriage.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Actually, the judge said in our temporary hearing that HE was not entitled to half of the house since he clearly had no input in that house whatsoever. She made that perfectly clear to him.

Yep, the judge can say anything he/she wants. Until it comes time to read the statutes.

I would NOT suggest celebrating just yet.

 

[sylviat]

Yep, the judge can say anything he/she wants. Until it comes time to read the statutes.

I would NOT suggest celebrating just yet.

Thank you. I appreciate your suggestion. I'm in such a mess and I don't know how this thing is going to end up. I understand that sometimes behavior in a marriage does not weigh when it comes to splitting assets. However, what happens when one party spends all of their assets (401k, profits shares, insurance premiums, etc.) and then expects to spend their spouse's as well?

 

[brisgirl825]

That's bizarre. I've never heard of a female spouse needing to first contribute financially in order to be entitled to their share of any real estate acquired DURING a marriage.

I think that depends on the circumstances. Obviously he wasn't living with her to claim that he was benefitting the household by providing childcare etc.
Had he been living in the home, it would have been entirely different.

I may not work, myself, but I save this family over $1000 a month in childcare expenses. I think that, that is quite important to our household budget and the amount we can afford to put back into the home.

 

[LdiJ]

That's bizarre. I've never heard of a female spouse needing to first contribute financially in order to be entitled to their share of any real estate acquired DURING a marriage.

This isn't a community property state (at least I don't think it is) and she purchased the house well after they separated. (They have been separated by 5 years). I didn't have to split my house with my ex in a similar set of circumstances either....and I am also not in a community property state.

 

[sylviat]

This isn't a community property state (at least I don't think it is) and she purchased the house well after they separated. (They have been separated by 5 years). I didn't have to split my house with my ex in a similar set of circumstances either....and I am also not in a community property state.

Exactly. Also, with respect to brisgirl825: "I may not work, myself, but I save this family over $1000 a month in childcare expenses. I think that, that is quite important to our household budget and the amount we can afford to put back into the home." I totally agree with this. He did stay at home back when our baby was first born, however, I had to pay him just like he was a live in baby sitter. For him, staying at home did not work. It cost way more money for him to stay at home than it did for him to work. So off he went to work - PART TIME - because he REFUSED to work full time. He wanted to be "kept."

The one other thing I'm afraid of is this: I was watching an Oprah show the other day where a guest psycho-therapist identified symptons of "possible wife murderers." I was shocked and scared out of my wits because my ex possesses each and every one of the symptons, including but not limited to: depression, no job, trouble with finances, street drugs, socially withdrawn, and the need to show that he/she is a good parent. I'm afraid that when all of this is over, and if he does not come out on top, I may have some serious problems. What are you thoughts?

Keep in mind that I had an abusive (mentally, physically and VERBALLY) relationship. And like I said earlier, this is truly a mess. He left for almost 5 years and is now back with a vengeance. AND, I believe he's on the down-low. Cheez.