MSA Filing

[mustp51d]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I see that the petition, financial affidavit, cert. of compliance, mandatory disclosure and child custody forms need to be filed at the start. But, do you have to file your MSA at the same time or can you wait until your spouse responds to the petition?

At this time I do not have all the information needed to complete the MSA fully.

This will most likely be a contested divorce.

Also, I live here in Tampa, Fl and my spouse took a job and moved to California in October, she said she plans to file when her 6 months residency requirement is complete. I would like to file first to try and retain the marital residence for myself and my two teen age children, at least until the youngest, 15 now, graduates high school.

The spouse had most of the control of the finances, and I am in a discovery process to get a hold of all the needed info to fill it out.

Thanks in advanceWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

I would suggest that you at least consult with an attorney. It rarely makes sense to handle a contested divorce pro se.

There are a number of issues that stand out. First, you may not want to file first. If your spouse files in CA, alimony will be determined based on CA rules which are more generous that most of the rest of the country. It will mean that you'd have to hire an attorney in CA, but you may be able to ask the court for your spouse to reimburse you for that.

Where the divorce is filed won't have any direct bearing on who gets the house. That will be determined based on who can pay for it, whether the kids stay there, etc. It will be more complicated if it is filed in CA because CA does not have jurisdiction over a home in FL, so you could need a separate hearing in FL on the house. Since stbx basically abandoned the house, that improves your chances of getting it - if you can afford to keep it up and pay stbx their half of the marital equity.

OTOH, the BEST (and least expensive) resolution will be for the two of you to agree to issues like the home and custody. If you do that, you can accept the divorce in CA and not have to have a separate hearing in FL. It's really only an issue if you can't agree to terms.

 

[Ohiogal]

With whom do the children live? Where do they reside?

And never put off filing based on the possibility of alimony -- that could work against OP.

 

[mistoffolees]

And never put off filing based on the possibility of alimony -- that could work against OP.

Yes, of course. It could work either way - which is why I suggested that OP consult with an attorney to get the facts for his/her situation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, of course. It could work either way - which is why I suggested that OP consult with an attorney to get the facts for his/her situation.

Here is the thing -- CA would NOT necessarily have personal jurisdiction OVER OP. Has s/he ever lived in CA? Has s/he owned property in OP? Just because the spouse lives there does not mean that OP is under CA's personal jurisdiction. Can spouse get a divorce there? Yes after meeting filing. But that does not mean that CA has jurisdiction to divide up marital assets located in Florida OR decide custody or child support or spousal support or anything but a divorce unless OP consents.

 

[mistoffolees]

Here is the thing -- CA would NOT necessarily have personal jurisdiction OVER OP. Has s/he ever lived in CA? Has s/he owned property in OP? Just because the spouse lives there does not mean that OP is under CA's personal jurisdiction. Can spouse get a divorce there? Yes after meeting filing. But that does not mean that CA has jurisdiction to divide up marital assets located in Florida OR decide custody or child support or spousal support or anything but a divorce unless OP consents.

Right - which is why I explained that they might need a hearing in FL, anyway if stbx files in CA.

I suggested that if they can reach agreement, it could all be handled in CA - and it might be better than in FL, so it's worth considering.

BTW, if stbx files in CA and OP hires an attorney there, spousal support, at least, could still be settled there.

 

[mustp51d]

Thanks for the input.
Yes, I know this is going to get tricky, being across state lines.

The children live with me here in Fl. They want to stay here, with me, their school and their friends. We as a family have lived in this house for 11 years. Our previous, 1st home after marriage for almost 9 years. We have been if FL all our lives. Both the kids and myself are born and raised here. All of our family is here in this state. My wife is the only one in CA

When the wife accepted the job in Ca, the plan was for me to get the house ready to be sold after the first of the year, try to get it sold by the end of the school year and all of us join her in CA after that.

When she came back at Christmas time, that's when she said she was going to file for divorce. She said at that time she was going to leave me the house and the kids. She knew the kids would rather stay here with all they knew and have than go to CA and start over.

I have a third party witness, a personal and longtime friend of hers and mine that actually spoke to her and said that she said that she would rather pay the child support and possible alimony to not have to deal with the day to day responsibilities of being married any more!.

The kids know most of what is going on, but I have never mentioned the above to them. In recent talks with her, she has now changed her stance on leaving us the house, she now thinks we should sell it. I do not think this is a good idea, because of the kids. That is why I thought and have been told that I should file first.

I do not at the moment make the money I should be making, I'm an ex IT computer network administrator. I currently make about half of what I should, but that can be corrected and will be. My wife currently makes approx. 5 times what I do.

Looking at the child support guidelines, added to what I currently get paid, keeping the house would be just doable. If I go back into IT, it would be a much better situation. Part of going back though, I have been out of the field for almost 5 years, is some re-education will be needed, to get a way better paying position. This is where I believe spousal support could come into play, and I would like your opinion on this. By the way, we have been married for 22 years, if that makes much difference in matters.

During the past 5 years, I had a lesser job than my wife, but I took over the majority of all home making tasks; shopping, laundry, cooking, and all other associated tasks involving the kids and house. All the while, even though she was also working, she was spending the majority of her time going to college, nearly full time, 2 to three nights a week at the school itself, or 3-5 hours a night online. And then she would spend the majority of her weekend time studying for her classes during the week. She, at my/our expense got her bachelors degree and is now about to receive her masters, this is what has allowed her to get a 6 figure job and the ability to dump her family. All this while, I put off furthering my education, to give her the time, financial and personal support to acquire hers, and now she does this to her family.

A lot of the credit card bills we have can be attributed to her school fees. I ask, is this reason enough that she could be responsible spousal support to me?

She is still depositing her pay into the joint bank account and helping to pay the bills, but she is friviously spending money at the same time. I don't think she would cut this money off to me and the kids, but you never know. Even she admits she's not the same person any more.

And I have never lived in CA, only visited, my only ties to there are my wife. We have not been on that good of speaking terms lately, so I have not brought up the issue of keeping the house until the youngest graduates yet, I guess I need to. The way it is now, I do not have the extra money to get an attorney at this time. Any other help or suggestions would be appreciated.
Also, what is the answer to my original question about filing the MSA with the petition, or can this wait?
Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

If you can truly afford the house by yourself, or by yourself with her paying child support, without risking her credit, then you might have a shot at getting her to agree to wait 3 or 4 years to sell the house.

However, most people are going to advise her not to do that. If you could refinance, to buy her out, that is the better solution.

 

[Ohiogal]

File in FLORIDA. Do NOT let this go to CA. CA does NOT have personal jurisdiction over you or the children and why would you want CA to have jurisdiction over custody when you would be forced to file any contempts, modifications or what not clear across the country rather than in the community of the children?

 

[mustp51d]

Does any one here Know the CA residency requirements?
I know you have to be a CA resident for at least 6 months before you can file.
What I need to know is how it is calculated, the start date I mean.

My wife went to CA on 9/22/09, started her job there on 9/28/09.
Her employer paid for her to stay in a hotel/suite until she found a place to rent on her own. She got her own place about 10 days later, I don't know the exact date. I know she has a checking account there with her new address. I do not know if she has changed her DL or car reg yet.

Thanks

 

[mistoffolees]

Does any one here Know the CA residency requirements?
I know you have to be a CA resident for at least 6 months before you can file.
What I need to know is how it is calculated, the start date I mean.

My wife went to CA on 9/22/09, started her job there on 9/28/09.
Her employer paid for her to stay in a hotel/suite until she found a place to rent on her own. She got her own place about 10 days later, I don't know the exact date. I know she has a checking account there with her new address. I do not know if she has changed her DL or car reg yet.

Thanks

She can use 9/22/09. If she was intending to relocate there (which seems obvious from the fact that she started a job a few days later), then it doesn't matter if she's in a hotel room or a mansion.