Need help

[workinggal]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Hi all, I've posted a couple of messages on this site. The advice has been a great help. However, I have yet another issue with my husband regarding his visitation. He has cancelled without prior notice for his visitation with his daughter for a month now. I try to encourage him to see his daughter but he states that now that I'm pregnant, he can be a full time father to my child now. I know he had issues with his ex not coming to the door for pick up/ drop offs but I think he is taking it to the extreme.

The problem is now that he has been cancelling visitation, the mother has served him papers to modify visitation. She states that my husband has cancelled without prior notice and it has altered her plans each time. She is requesting that my husband's time be reduced, can she do this? My husband would also like to know can he modify child support because we are expecting a baby?

Thanks all

 

[emory]

Not sure

My husband would also like to know can he modify child support because we are expecting a baby?

I am not sure, just because he or you are having another child, this will superceed the first one. The obligation IMHO falls to the first child, the courts may see that having another child was a choice.

Lets see what others have to say.

 

[my life is mine]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Hi all, I've posted a couple of messages on this site. The advice has been a great help. However, I have yet another issue with my husband regarding his visitation. He has cancelled without prior notice for his visitation with his daughter for a month now. I try to encourage him to see his daughter but he states that now that I'm pregnant, he can be a full time father to my child now. I know he had issues with his ex not coming to the door for pick up/ drop offs but I think he is taking it to the extreme.

The problem is now that he has been cancelling visitation, the mother has served him papers to modify visitation. She states that my husband has cancelled without prior notice and it has altered her plans each time. She is requesting that my husband's time be reduced, can she do this? My husband would also like to know can he modify child support because we are expecting a baby?

Thanks all

So Mom stated he did not cancel, which is correct according to you.... yes, Mom can ask that the courts modify orders since Dad is not coming, I think she should, if Dad doesn't want to parent his child. Tell Dad to keep it up and he will be like NCP in my situation and wind up with barely any rights, because NCP choose to ignore NCP's children and make a new life with another person.


I don't know if NJ lets you reduce support if you have more children, I know my state rarely and I mean rarely will.

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to take a stand here and refuse to help you and your selfish a**shole of a husband anymore. Your husband's behavior is sick and deplorable and I'm telling you RIGHT NOW, you better pay close attention, because I promise you you're next.

Tell your husband to hire an attorney and drain your family's finances with this silly behavior of his. Take it back and forth to court and rack up bills of thousands and thousands of dollars. When you become broke over him and his silliness, then MAYBE you'll take a REAL stand and stop allowing your husband to torment his ex.

 

[CLBKLCDTB]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Hi all, I've posted a couple of messages on this site. The advice has been a great help. However, I have yet another issue with my husband regarding his visitation. He has cancelled without prior notice for his visitation with his daughter for a month now. I try to encourage him to see his daughter but he states that now that I'm pregnant, he can be a full time father to my child now. I know he had issues with his ex not coming to the door for pick up/ drop offs but I think he is taking it to the extreme.

Ya Think?

The problem is now that he has been cancelling visitation, the mother has served him papers to modify visitation. She states that my husband has cancelled without prior notice and it has altered her plans each time. She is requesting that my husband's time be reduced, can she do this? My husband would also like to know can he modify child support because we are expecting a baby?

Your Man is a real piece of work

He is resposible for ALL of his children.

Can mom reduce his time? Maybe, when she proves he could care less about seeing the child.

Can Dad reduce support, because of a new baby? Again, maybe. Just remember, first come first serve. It may get reduced, (If dad can prove poverty) or the judge may just tell him to get a second job.

After all why keep having children if you can not afford the one you already have.

You must be so proud

 

[summerdawn]

What is the name of your state? NJ

The problem is now that he has been cancelling visitation, the mother has served him papers to modify visitation. She states that my husband has cancelled without prior notice and it has altered her plans each time. She is requesting that my husband's time be reduced, can she do this? Thanks all

Hi. I don't understand-are you alarmed that she would do this? Do you think she doesn't have the right?

As a CP I will be keeping very strict track of NCPs visits because he has not visited much in the past. If he does not make his court ordered visits over a long period of time I wholeheartedly plan on asking for him to get reduced time with the kids (if i'm allowed to)-for one thing, it's confusing to them when he doesn't show up-for another, why should I have full days set aside where my family does nothing but wait for him to visit, if he is not going to show up?

I think it would be selfish of you to assume she shouldn't file for reduced time if your husband could care less about seeing his child. I have to wonder, if it's not your child, why are you so concerned that he is not seeing the child if HE is not concerned?

I don't mean this to sound mean, but you had better hope he doesn't do the same thing to your child down the road.

 

[workinggal]

I appreciate everyone's comments. I do agree it's not wise to behave this way. However, I think I have a right to be concerned about wheather he see his daughter or not. As his wife I need to support and help him make wise decisions. I can only help him not make him do the right thing. We are married so I doubt if he will do the same thing to our child. His argument is that his daughter dosent live with us so he feels that he's already missing time with her anyway so why not be a full time dad to our child that will live with us. Is it right, absolutely not, what else can I do?

But thanks for responding

 

[happybug]

Dad wants to reduce C/S because he is having a new baby and wants to pretend the first one doesn't exist. Too funny. I am not a lawyer but you know what I think is going to happen here? Mom will win on her parenting time modification because Dad doesn't give a Rat's Behind about his Daughter. Then, not only will his C/S NOT decrease it will INCREASE because Mom now has more parenting time. Less parenting time = More C/S. Just for kicks, check the child support calculator in your state. Oh, and don't be too surprised when it is YOUR child he is treating like this. A person CAN'T be a Good Parent unless he/she is a Good Parent to ALL their offspring.

 

[workinggal]

Well he wont have a chose but to be a dad to our child because our child will be living with us.

 

[workinggal]

well he wont have a choice but to be a dad because our child will be living with us...

 

[CourtClerk]

Well he wont have a chose but to be a dad to our child because our child will be living with us.

That's right. You two will be married forever, because he will be able to treat you and his children like crap and you will never have the backbone to do anything else about it except post on an internet forum. Unless that is, he gets sick of you and HE leaves and files for divorce.

Do you realize that this is YOUR CHILD'S SIBLING he's treating like this? Oh wait... doesn't matter huh because it isn't YOUR child and YOU he's doing this too. This is going to make for a GREAT relationship between the children as they grow up - and you'll have your husband to thank for that, well, I'm sure they'll let you share the blame.

Both of you should get awards for parent of the year... and I mean that in the most condescending manner you can imagine.

 

[Just Blue]

well he wont have a choice but to be a dad because our child will be living with us...

Kepp telling yourself this...

 

[CourtClerk]

Kepp telling yourself this...

Whatever works huh?

I wonder if it gets hot under all that wool the OP has over her.

 

[happybug]

Do you think the mother of his first child didn't think the same thing while she was pregnant? She at least didn't know any better. You KNOW what kind of a person you are choosing to have a child with. TRUST me. You will be walking in those shoes before you know it. It goes to character. There are PLENTY of GREAT Parents who do not live with their children. Whatever you think about YOUR " Golden Child ", your Husband is a Crap Parent. He will not become a better parent by having more children. He is what he is, and that is very flawed. A person who abandons a child they already have is NOT a person most would choose to have more children with.

 

[workinggal]

Do you think the mother of his first child didn't think the same thing while she was pregnant? She at least didn't know any better. You KNOW what kind of a person you are choosing to have a child with. TRUST me. You will be walking in those shoes before you know it. It goes to character. There are PLENTY of GREAT Parents who do not live with their children. Whatever you think about YOUR " Golden Child ", your Husband is a Crap Parent. He will not become a better parent by having more children. He is what he is, and that is very flawed. A person who abandons a child they already have is NOT a person most would choose to have more children with.

I'm not in anyway pleased with his behavior over his daughter visitation. I know that my husband love his daughter. He's had continuous visits with his daughter in the begining even when he had an issue with the mother not coming to the door. It's just that now that I'm pregnant, I guess he feels that he will have more of an opportunity to spend every waken moment with our child because our child will live with us. I didn't say he will ignore his daughter but it's fact , he will be more in our child's life because of the fact that the baby will live with us, thats all. Also I think he's overwhelmed with everything. I can only help him do the right thing, I can't force him .