need some advise

[D_Chacon]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? virginia

i wasn't sure where to post this - so please let me know if i need to move it.

my sister is in the hospital in a comma and it's gotten to the point where we need to make a decision on what to do with her life. she has 2 twin girls from a previous relationship that are now 10 years, but the biological father left when they were 2 years old. since he left he hasn't bothered to contact my sister (who still lives in the same place and has the same phone number) and we have no idea where he is except some suspicion that he may be in florida (because that is where they met & where is mother was the last we heard). in my sisters will she has listed my husband and i as the kids guardians. we want to adopt the kids, but are unsure if this is possible without the biological dad's permission. i heard once that if we want to terminate his rights and can't find him that we can place an add in a local newpaper (in florida) stating that a hearing is set to take place to terminate his rights. is this true? (i'm assuming we'd need to terminate his rights before we can adopt the girls)

i know that everyone will say we need to hire a lawyer, but we don't have the money for a lawyer so any information i can get beforehand the better. (and yes, the biological dad did sign the birth certificates when the girls were born so paternity has already been established - he left because he was about to be put in jail for beating my sister because she wanted child support).What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? virginia

i wasn't sure where to post this - so please let me know if i need to move it.

my sister is in the hospital in a comma and it's gotten to the point where we need to make a decision on what to do with her life. she has 2 twin girls from a previous relationship that are now 10 years, but the biological father left when they were 2 years old. since he left he hasn't bothered to contact my sister (who still lives in the same place and has the same phone number) and we have no idea where he is except some suspicion that he may be in florida (because that is where they met & where is mother was the last we heard). in my sisters will she has listed my husband and i as the kids guardians. we want to adopt the kids, but are unsure if this is possible without the biological dad's permission. i heard once that if we want to terminate his rights and can't find him that we can place an add in a local newpaper (in florida) stating that a hearing is set to take place to terminate his rights. is this true? (i'm assuming we'd need to terminate his rights before we can adopt the girls)

i know that everyone will say we need to hire a lawyer, but we don't have the money for a lawyer so any information i can get beforehand the better. (and yes, the biological dad did sign the birth certificates when the girls were born so paternity has already been established - he left because he was about to be put in jail for beating my sister because she wanted child support).What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

In all honesty, the only right answer is that you NEED to find a way to get a lawyer. Adoption is not generally a DIY project, but your situation is even more complicated.

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? virginia

i wasn't sure where to post this - so please let me know if i need to move it.

my sister is in the hospital in a comma and it's gotten to the point where we need to make a decision on what to do with her life. she has 2 twin girls from a previous relationship that are now 10 years, but the biological father left when they were 2 years old. since he left he hasn't bothered to contact my sister (who still lives in the same place and has the same phone number) and we have no idea where he is except some suspicion that he may be in florida (because that is where they met & where is mother was the last we heard). in my sisters will she has listed my husband and i as the kids guardians. we want to adopt the kids, but are unsure if this is possible without the biological dad's permission. i heard once that if we want to terminate his rights and can't find him that we can place an add in a local newpaper (in florida) stating that a hearing is set to take place to terminate his rights. is this true? (i'm assuming we'd need to terminate his rights before we can adopt the girls)

i know that everyone will say we need to hire a lawyer, but we don't have the money for a lawyer so any information i can get beforehand the better. (and yes, the biological dad did sign the birth certificates when the girls were born so paternity has already been established - he left because he was about to be put in jail for beating my sister because she wanted child support).What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

First, I am so sorry about your sister and the decision that your family needs to make.
You are correct that you REALLY need to consult with an attorney. Adoption is not a DIY project. With this type of family adoption it should not cost too much. Given the fact that the father "abandoned" his children, it is likely he may not fight the adoption process anyway.
Do yourself a favor and borrow whatever money you need to to do this right. You will be glad in the end.

Best of Luck

 

[LdiJ]

First, I am so sorry about your sister and the decision that your family needs to make.
You are correct that you REALLY need to consult with an attorney. Adoption is not a DIY project. With this type of family adoption it should not cost too much. Given the fact that the father "abandoned" his children, it is likely he may not fight the adoption process anyway.
Do yourself a favor and borrow whatever money you need to to do this right. You will be glad in the end.

Best of Luck

Or, in the alternative, for the time being, you put the adoption idea on hold and you simply file for guardianship or custody based on the death of their mother and the fact that their father abandoned them 8 years ago.

Re-examine the idea of adoption later on down the road, when you can afford an attorney.

 

[D_Chacon]

Thanks to everyone who replied.

This is a tough time for our family and none of us really want to make the hard decisions that need to be made, but I was really concerned that if I didn't adopt the kids that one day the biological father could show up and take the kids away without there being anything that anyone in the family could do.

I will take everyone's advise and find the money for the lawyer (probably take out a loan). Does anyone have any idea how much it could cost? More than $5,000? (I'll start looking today)

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks to everyone who replied.

This is a tough time for our family and none of us really want to make the hard decisions that need to be made, but I was really concerned that if I didn't adopt the kids that one day the biological father could show up and take the kids away without there being anything that anyone in the family could do.

I will take everyone's advise and find the money for the lawyer (probably take out a loan). Does anyone have any idea how much it could cost? More than $5,000? (I'll start looking today)

You have another issue -- did your sister leave a medical power of attorney or a living will? If not then you will have to go to court to get permission to make these decisions because at this POINT the next of kin has the right to determine WHAT happens to your sister. The next of kin happens to be the minor children. Hence, legally you need a court order if there is no living will or medical power of attorney.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks to everyone who replied.

This is a tough time for our family and none of us really want to make the hard decisions that need to be made, but I was really concerned that if I didn't adopt the kids that one day the biological father could show up and take the kids away without there being anything that anyone in the family could do.

I will take everyone's advise and find the money for the lawyer (probably take out a loan). Does anyone have any idea how much it could cost? More than $5,000? (I'll start looking today)

Really, you're doing the right thing by finding an attorney. It will prevent problems down the road.

Cost will vary, but like all family law matters, it often comes down to how many battles have to be fought. if Dad rolls over and doesn't fight the adoption, the the cost will be modest. If Dad does want to fight the adoption, the cost will skyrocket - and your chances of adopting the kids drop significantly. If Dad wants to be involved, you might have to go for involuntary termination of his parental rights since abandonment is one of the grounds in your state. However, it would have been easier if Mom had done that before her illness. I'm not sure that you, as third parties, can do that.

Since none of us knows how Dad will react, it's impossible to guess.

Call a couple of attorneys. Many of them will give you an initial consultation for free or for low cost. Ask them about payment plans. You might even get lucky and find an attorney who will do this for a fixed cost.

 

[LdiJ]

Really, you're doing the right thing by finding an attorney. It will prevent problems down the road.

Cost will vary, but like all family law matters, it often comes down to how many battles have to be fought. if Dad rolls over and doesn't fight the adoption, the the cost will be modest. If Dad does want to fight the adoption, the cost will skyrocket - and your chances of adopting the kids drop significantly. If Dad wants to be involved, you might have to go for involuntary termination of his parental rights since abandonment is one of the grounds in your state. However, it would have been easier if Mom had done that before her illness. I'm not sure that you, as third parties, can do that.

Since none of us knows how Dad will react, it's impossible to guess.

Call a couple of attorneys. Many of them will give you an initial consultation for free or for low cost. Ask them about payment plans. You might even get lucky and find an attorney who will do this for a fixed cost.

I would go straight for the abandonment angle since that is exactly what dad did, and have him served by publication since they don't know where he is.

 

[ecmst12]

It may be advantageous to go for guardianship/custody first and wait 6 months or a year before going forward with the adoption. Emotionally, the children need some time to deal with the death of their mother and going through adoption right away might be difficult for them. Legally, if dad fights the adoption, you will be in a stronger position if you already have custody and status quo established.