ainternational
Junior Member
I'm currently in the latter stages of a mediated divorce in California. Married 15 years with two children in elementary school. Spouse and I are 39 years old. She was a former engineer who stopped working due to stress and depression several years before our first child was born. She has started she is capable of working but sees little incentive given that any income she has will offset spousal support payments at a rate of approx 50 cents to the dollar earned.
We are trying to negotiate spousal support and her expectation is that it will be until she retires (approx 26 years). Since we're in mediation (to save money and preserve our relationship), so we each hold the trump card to go get lawyers and fight when it comes to negotiating any particular term.
I am seeking suggestions on how to negotiate this point, by setting an end date in what I feel is a more manageable timeframe, such as perhaps when the youngest child turns 18 (in 11 years). Or perhaps a few years after that. My own desire is to get closure and a clear footing of when I will be in control of my financial destiny, and to know when I will finally be able to own a home again.
If I simply tell her I'm unwilling to sign up for a lifetime of payments, then negotiations will come to a stand still, or worse, will be protracted and much more costly through divorce attorneys. Not to mention result in the death of our (now somewhat friendly) relationship. I'm trying to come up with defensible logical arguments against "forever".
I am also curious to understand if I am basically signing up for "forever" by leaving the end date simply unspecified, which our mediator told us he sees in about 30-40% of his cases.
What do you think? Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.
We are trying to negotiate spousal support and her expectation is that it will be until she retires (approx 26 years). Since we're in mediation (to save money and preserve our relationship), so we each hold the trump card to go get lawyers and fight when it comes to negotiating any particular term.
I am seeking suggestions on how to negotiate this point, by setting an end date in what I feel is a more manageable timeframe, such as perhaps when the youngest child turns 18 (in 11 years). Or perhaps a few years after that. My own desire is to get closure and a clear footing of when I will be in control of my financial destiny, and to know when I will finally be able to own a home again.
If I simply tell her I'm unwilling to sign up for a lifetime of payments, then negotiations will come to a stand still, or worse, will be protracted and much more costly through divorce attorneys. Not to mention result in the death of our (now somewhat friendly) relationship. I'm trying to come up with defensible logical arguments against "forever".
I am also curious to understand if I am basically signing up for "forever" by leaving the end date simply unspecified, which our mediator told us he sees in about 30-40% of his cases.
What do you think? Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.