What is the name of your state? VA
background on my current situation:
married 3 yrs, 1 child together (2yrs), own a house together, seperated 10 months. he has been a lousy husband (abandonment, adultry, bars, the works) for the first 6 months of separation we had a verbal aggrmt where he kept giving his paycheck, and i paid all of our bills (with anything extra a month toward the credit card debt). as well as i gave him money (any amt any time he wished). we also agreed that we would work this ourselves (to aid in keeping the cost down, and keep it friendly). we both stuck to this aggrmt until i found out that he retained a lawyer (which is also a family friend). and stopped his direct deposit. i offered him the house, he declined. i tried 3 different re-finance deals (where i was offering to pay his cc debt in full and give him 30-60k cash). he declined, said it was not enough money. basically he has admitted to me on numerous occasions that the majority of the cc debt was his (i even have one in an email). the credit card debt consists of 4 cards (3 in his name & 1 joint). the total debt at the time he stopped contributing his pay was around 17k. since then he alone has put around 2k a month on the cards (proof of his spending habits). the total balances are now total over 26k. he has been living with his parents 20 mins away. he had visitation of our son every other weekend and two evenings during the week. he has been fired from 3 different jobs since we seperated and is currently unemployed still living with his parents. i am pretty sure that his parents are paying the cost of the lawyer friend and are the driving force behind his recent actions. we recently sold the joint house, and in the process he ultimately tried to put myself and my two sons homeless not once but twice. the first time i had to beg with the realtor for a couple of weeks to get a place to live lined up. i offered two different realtors and he didnt want to use either. i then begged him for over a month to just choose one. so the one he choose, and was clearly working for him after we got into the negotiation process. i have no family in the area. and basically if he did not sign the aggrmt for the proceeds of the house, i had no other option but to move back with my parents out of state (where he would not be able to see his son very often). so again, he showed his greed and holded out until 3 hrs before the deadline with the title company. basically my current situation is, the aggrmt that he signed only gave me 30k enough for the downpayment to get into my house. he also took 30k, and we put 25k in escrow until an aggrmt is met. he has threatened me on numberous occasions where as i had to change jobs, get a new car (he had a key), change the locks on the house, and currently he made it very clear that he would take his son whenever he pleased. so i pulled him out of his daycare, and am now at a new address (son in a new daycare) where he does not yet know the contact info. i told him that he is welcome to continue visitation as soon as we get SOMETHING in writting. for our sons well being. his attorney is very aggressive and i am sure giving him lots of ideas to fight me. my attorney is pretty much worthless, and i have to fight him and them on everything! he kept telling me to just sign that it sounds like a good offer... but when i decided to hold out (against his wishes), they finally caved and signed the house aggrmt. all four of us met today, and my offer was: me full legal custody, him visitation (every other weekend and one eve a week). i do not think it would be a good idea for joint legal custody because i know he will continue to fight me on every little detail! as well as i would give him 25% of the balance of the cc's at the time he was contributing money, and am asking that he give me 5 months of half of the mortgage, 2k for legal fees (because he broke our verbal aggrmt) and half of a plumbing bill that i paid while he was contributing. they made it very clear that this is in no way acceptable, and that we could just do a temporary custody order so that he could see his son. which he needed to change days around because i moved 40 miles away. they also have lowered his child support 200 a month (they are now proposing 600 a month). they say that they are being generous because he is currently unemployed. but while we were married he made a consistant income of around 55k a year (shouldnt this be taken into consideration?) this is supposed to be written up and signed tomorrow. but if they do what they have done in the past they are going to make some sort of changes, and ask me to sign. i am debating whether i should fire my attorney, not sign anything. and go file to get temporary custody myself. i think that if this was to go before a judge i might have someone on my side. i really do not have anymore $$ to try to get another attorney. i moved to front royal (which is a small town) and i have been told that the judge is very much on the mothers side. i am just unsure that this is my best route to go. any advise would be greatly appreciated!
background on my current situation:
married 3 yrs, 1 child together (2yrs), own a house together, seperated 10 months. he has been a lousy husband (abandonment, adultry, bars, the works) for the first 6 months of separation we had a verbal aggrmt where he kept giving his paycheck, and i paid all of our bills (with anything extra a month toward the credit card debt). as well as i gave him money (any amt any time he wished). we also agreed that we would work this ourselves (to aid in keeping the cost down, and keep it friendly). we both stuck to this aggrmt until i found out that he retained a lawyer (which is also a family friend). and stopped his direct deposit. i offered him the house, he declined. i tried 3 different re-finance deals (where i was offering to pay his cc debt in full and give him 30-60k cash). he declined, said it was not enough money. basically he has admitted to me on numerous occasions that the majority of the cc debt was his (i even have one in an email). the credit card debt consists of 4 cards (3 in his name & 1 joint). the total debt at the time he stopped contributing his pay was around 17k. since then he alone has put around 2k a month on the cards (proof of his spending habits). the total balances are now total over 26k. he has been living with his parents 20 mins away. he had visitation of our son every other weekend and two evenings during the week. he has been fired from 3 different jobs since we seperated and is currently unemployed still living with his parents. i am pretty sure that his parents are paying the cost of the lawyer friend and are the driving force behind his recent actions. we recently sold the joint house, and in the process he ultimately tried to put myself and my two sons homeless not once but twice. the first time i had to beg with the realtor for a couple of weeks to get a place to live lined up. i offered two different realtors and he didnt want to use either. i then begged him for over a month to just choose one. so the one he choose, and was clearly working for him after we got into the negotiation process. i have no family in the area. and basically if he did not sign the aggrmt for the proceeds of the house, i had no other option but to move back with my parents out of state (where he would not be able to see his son very often). so again, he showed his greed and holded out until 3 hrs before the deadline with the title company. basically my current situation is, the aggrmt that he signed only gave me 30k enough for the downpayment to get into my house. he also took 30k, and we put 25k in escrow until an aggrmt is met. he has threatened me on numberous occasions where as i had to change jobs, get a new car (he had a key), change the locks on the house, and currently he made it very clear that he would take his son whenever he pleased. so i pulled him out of his daycare, and am now at a new address (son in a new daycare) where he does not yet know the contact info. i told him that he is welcome to continue visitation as soon as we get SOMETHING in writting. for our sons well being. his attorney is very aggressive and i am sure giving him lots of ideas to fight me. my attorney is pretty much worthless, and i have to fight him and them on everything! he kept telling me to just sign that it sounds like a good offer... but when i decided to hold out (against his wishes), they finally caved and signed the house aggrmt. all four of us met today, and my offer was: me full legal custody, him visitation (every other weekend and one eve a week). i do not think it would be a good idea for joint legal custody because i know he will continue to fight me on every little detail! as well as i would give him 25% of the balance of the cc's at the time he was contributing money, and am asking that he give me 5 months of half of the mortgage, 2k for legal fees (because he broke our verbal aggrmt) and half of a plumbing bill that i paid while he was contributing. they made it very clear that this is in no way acceptable, and that we could just do a temporary custody order so that he could see his son. which he needed to change days around because i moved 40 miles away. they also have lowered his child support 200 a month (they are now proposing 600 a month). they say that they are being generous because he is currently unemployed. but while we were married he made a consistant income of around 55k a year (shouldnt this be taken into consideration?) this is supposed to be written up and signed tomorrow. but if they do what they have done in the past they are going to make some sort of changes, and ask me to sign. i am debating whether i should fire my attorney, not sign anything. and go file to get temporary custody myself. i think that if this was to go before a judge i might have someone on my side. i really do not have anymore $$ to try to get another attorney. i moved to front royal (which is a small town) and i have been told that the judge is very much on the mothers side. i am just unsure that this is my best route to go. any advise would be greatly appreciated!