What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota
I am not sure if legal advice is what I need. After reading this, tell me, is there is any point in contacting the police or even if I did, would it more likely than not backfire on me?
People here probably can't answer if it would backfire, but at least someone can tell me if they would or could even take action. If not, then my question is answered.
(If they might take action, the next step is a psychiatry forum, since it is the specific personality of the person that is the determining factor on whether to be alarmed enough to go that route, and if it might actually escalate, instead of help, the situation. This is my first day on this forum. Thank you in advance.)
This is far longer than the usual post, but think there are some details here that might be significant. (I don't know what is or isn't.)
There is a person I've known for over 30 years. A friend from high school. Much of our adult life we have not been in contact, but have on occassion.
Last time we saw each other was 5 years ago. Last online contact was 2 years ago. I finally came to my senses at that point and knew I would never interact with him again.
I saw recently that he had sent me messages on facebook. I almost never use facebook and hadn't realized there were the following subsequent messages for quite a while. These were sent over a course of 17 days.
--- Hi.
--- Just getting back to you; it's been a scary time lately. How are you doing?
--- It's important that I strangle you...
--- I hope you understand...It's both a sexual thing for both of us...I'm not sure I can handle your Rape Fantasy, but I'm willing to try. Just let me know what you need.
--- Hey, Sarah!
--- I Need you to beg...
--- Hey, Sarah. Would you die for me? I know it's a pretty significante question, but you seem to be an almost sacrificial female. Would you kiss me before you died?
--- I think Sarah needs to die;
--- Is She resistant?
Regarding the rape fantasy, I made the mistake of telling him five years ago I had fantasies of being raped (like very many women). Stupid thing to tell someone who I have always known was very off. But he seemed like he'd grown up and was sane, and it was just adult conversation. We were just friends almost entirely, except for 3 stupid bouts of intercourse in our early twenties (over 20 years ago now). But maybe that diminishes the apparent threat?
So, he has been diagnosed with bipolar, in and out of psych wards since he was a teenager. He very likely has mild fetal alcohol syndrome. He has schizotypal personality disorder. He hallucinates. He has a very high IQ (160 or so) but with learning disabilities. His communication sometimes devolves until you can't understand him (written and verbal).
When he was a teenager, he once tried to stab a friend of ours at a restaurant. He told me he thought he might have killed a homeless man on the railroad tracks. He was disturbed and also excited about it. I didn't believe him.
In our twenties, he physically hurt me pretty badly. He was hallucinating very badly at that time and I knew he thought I was someone else when he hurt me. Then he said he wanted to kill me and that this world was hell and that because he loved me, he wanted to remove me from this hell. I sent him away and thankfully he left. He went home and ended up hitting his mom (a very sweet person) that night and was hauled off to jail. (I didn't see him for over 10 years after that, at which time, it seemed like he had gotten help and was sane and doing very well. Mature, with a concience, sane, rational. At first, anyway.)
He is "supposed" to take medication, but doesn't like how it makes him feel, so at times he stops.
He has told me many very disturbing fantasies. Just one of many examples: biting and gouging a women until she's dead. Not like a fantasy of killing your neighbor's dog who is barking, but you would never actually do it. More like he would do it if he could figure out how to get away with it, but knows he can't. He loves blood. Has consistently called himself a Satanist since he was a teenager.
He always talks to me like it's been a week since the last time, even when it was over 10 years. He has a bad sense of time. So, even though he sent these a few weeks ago and it was 2 years since the previous contact, I am scared about his messages. I don't want to dismiss it just because he hasn't killed me yet. Last time we saw each other 5 years ago, he told me he was in love with me. In the same conversation, I told him I would not speak to him again, because he was being a jerk and was scaring me. I don't think that set well with him.
He sent an email 2 years later referring to that time as if no time had passed saying, "I need you. I don't know how, I don't know how to define it....you were an angel to me, and I won't forget that. I hate angels...."
If I should report, do I report in my city or his? (We're in different suburbs.) I think that this isn't enough for the police to do anything about it. He didn't actually say straight out that HE wanted to kill me or was going to. But a friend told me I should report it asap. He knows where I live and work, and where some of my family members live. PS, I know very well that I was an idiot for continuing to talk to him all those years.
I am not sure if legal advice is what I need. After reading this, tell me, is there is any point in contacting the police or even if I did, would it more likely than not backfire on me?
People here probably can't answer if it would backfire, but at least someone can tell me if they would or could even take action. If not, then my question is answered.
(If they might take action, the next step is a psychiatry forum, since it is the specific personality of the person that is the determining factor on whether to be alarmed enough to go that route, and if it might actually escalate, instead of help, the situation. This is my first day on this forum. Thank you in advance.)
This is far longer than the usual post, but think there are some details here that might be significant. (I don't know what is or isn't.)
There is a person I've known for over 30 years. A friend from high school. Much of our adult life we have not been in contact, but have on occassion.
Last time we saw each other was 5 years ago. Last online contact was 2 years ago. I finally came to my senses at that point and knew I would never interact with him again.
I saw recently that he had sent me messages on facebook. I almost never use facebook and hadn't realized there were the following subsequent messages for quite a while. These were sent over a course of 17 days.
--- Hi.
--- Just getting back to you; it's been a scary time lately. How are you doing?
--- It's important that I strangle you...
--- I hope you understand...It's both a sexual thing for both of us...I'm not sure I can handle your Rape Fantasy, but I'm willing to try. Just let me know what you need.
--- Hey, Sarah!
--- I Need you to beg...
--- Hey, Sarah. Would you die for me? I know it's a pretty significante question, but you seem to be an almost sacrificial female. Would you kiss me before you died?
--- I think Sarah needs to die;
--- Is She resistant?
Regarding the rape fantasy, I made the mistake of telling him five years ago I had fantasies of being raped (like very many women). Stupid thing to tell someone who I have always known was very off. But he seemed like he'd grown up and was sane, and it was just adult conversation. We were just friends almost entirely, except for 3 stupid bouts of intercourse in our early twenties (over 20 years ago now). But maybe that diminishes the apparent threat?
So, he has been diagnosed with bipolar, in and out of psych wards since he was a teenager. He very likely has mild fetal alcohol syndrome. He has schizotypal personality disorder. He hallucinates. He has a very high IQ (160 or so) but with learning disabilities. His communication sometimes devolves until you can't understand him (written and verbal).
When he was a teenager, he once tried to stab a friend of ours at a restaurant. He told me he thought he might have killed a homeless man on the railroad tracks. He was disturbed and also excited about it. I didn't believe him.
In our twenties, he physically hurt me pretty badly. He was hallucinating very badly at that time and I knew he thought I was someone else when he hurt me. Then he said he wanted to kill me and that this world was hell and that because he loved me, he wanted to remove me from this hell. I sent him away and thankfully he left. He went home and ended up hitting his mom (a very sweet person) that night and was hauled off to jail. (I didn't see him for over 10 years after that, at which time, it seemed like he had gotten help and was sane and doing very well. Mature, with a concience, sane, rational. At first, anyway.)
He is "supposed" to take medication, but doesn't like how it makes him feel, so at times he stops.
He has told me many very disturbing fantasies. Just one of many examples: biting and gouging a women until she's dead. Not like a fantasy of killing your neighbor's dog who is barking, but you would never actually do it. More like he would do it if he could figure out how to get away with it, but knows he can't. He loves blood. Has consistently called himself a Satanist since he was a teenager.
He always talks to me like it's been a week since the last time, even when it was over 10 years. He has a bad sense of time. So, even though he sent these a few weeks ago and it was 2 years since the previous contact, I am scared about his messages. I don't want to dismiss it just because he hasn't killed me yet. Last time we saw each other 5 years ago, he told me he was in love with me. In the same conversation, I told him I would not speak to him again, because he was being a jerk and was scaring me. I don't think that set well with him.
He sent an email 2 years later referring to that time as if no time had passed saying, "I need you. I don't know how, I don't know how to define it....you were an angel to me, and I won't forget that. I hate angels...."
If I should report, do I report in my city or his? (We're in different suburbs.) I think that this isn't enough for the police to do anything about it. He didn't actually say straight out that HE wanted to kill me or was going to. But a friend told me I should report it asap. He knows where I live and work, and where some of my family members live. PS, I know very well that I was an idiot for continuing to talk to him all those years.
Last edited: