Overnight guests

[Ambr]

More personal opinions - don't you just love it!!!

The last thing that the child(ren) need to deal with is mom bringing home the new boyfriend and him spending the night.

There is nothing wrong with mom having a social life after the divorce. But if the child is home at the time - end your date at the door. If the child is at his fathers - invite your boyfriend over for the evening.

There are no guarantees that this new gentleman will be the new love of her life and they will marry. In all odds - as sad as they sound - she will probably date a few men before she finds another "true love". Why subject her child to it. Why let the child form an attachment to the new boyfriend, only to lose it when the relationship ends. It would be like dealing with a divorce everytime that mom changes boyfriends. Not to mention the "moral" lessons - or lack off - that she is demonstrating to the child.

Remember - JMO - Don't you just love that free speech right? LOL!

*******I'm not going to edit anything, but we apparently posted at the same time and I just read your last post. Personally, I would still end my dates at the door when she was there. You are her example of what is "normal" for a relationship. You are teaching her the "type of man" that she will probably look for in a relationship later. ***************

 

[KCMR]

Just as I thought

That is exactly what I thought.

I think this man is healthy for you and your daughter. Sounds like my situation 100%.

The man is now my husband and we are all very happy.
Good Luck!

 

[texcess]

I think your handling it great. I was also cautious about introducing my children to a "date". I would explain it the date before he ever met my kids and he would be introduced as a friend. And thats exactly how we would act in front of the children. Only one relationship devloved in the 5 years and after about a year of seeing more and more of him the kids never even questioned the transition from friend to boyfriend. It was just a natural flow.
Being a single mother can be very lonely at times. Considerng the length of time you have been involved with this man I dont think you should worry at all about having him stay over on occassion. I think its healthier for you verses rushing into marriage to enjoy that intamacy. I would however be careful if this relationship dosnt work out not to repeat it any time soon. In other words I think your child can understand this guy is special..but if she has to adjust to another guy staying over if this one dosnt work out...well that throws the theory of "special" out and sets a lifestyle pattern that you may not want your child to be exposed to.
Not sure if how clear my opinion is. I guess the bottom line is if he gets along well with your daughter and he makes you happy then go for it this time! Just let him understand it shouldnt be every night...its ok for him to be a guest. But if you want him to stay over more then just occassionally..then maybe it is time for marriage.
Best of luck!