Parental rights question.

[RRevak]

(Florida)
My name is Robin. I have a 5 yr old daughter named Emily. My question is regarding the potential for termination of her biological fathers parental rights. For the last 3 years he has been for the most part, absent. He's been there for a while, and then inevitably when a new relationship comes along he's gone. The last two years have been the worst. I have given him free and open opportunities to see her but he just doesnt. There's always an excuse so as of now he's seen her a total of 3 days in the last year and a half. He was sending meager child support but that stopped a year ago as he claimed that he couldnt afford it. We have no court order, just him sending about $250 per month. He's now engaged and the woman he's engaged to wants nothing to do with out daughter. She's stated that she's not ready to be a step mother. He is now agreeing to give up his parental rights and i'm more than ok with that. I just want him out as he's better out of my daughers life than only being there when there's nothing better to do. My question is, if we're both alright with this, can we terminate? Also, how would we go about it? I also have to state that he is listed on the birth certificate although we were never married.

 

[Isis1]

(Florida)
My name is Robin. I have a 5 yr old daughter named Emily. My question is regarding the potential for termination of her biological fathers parental rights. For the last 3 years he has been for the most part, absent. He's been there for a while, and then inevitably when a new relationship comes along he's gone. The last two years have been the worst. I have given him free and open opportunities to see her but he just doesnt. There's always an excuse so as of now he's seen her a total of 3 days in the last year and a half. He was sending meager child support but that stopped a year ago as he claimed that he couldnt afford it. We have no court order, just him sending about $250 per month. He's now engaged and the woman he's engaged to wants nothing to do with out daughter. She's stated that she's not ready to be a step mother. He is now agreeing to give up his parental rights and i'm more than ok with that. I just want him out as he's better out of my daughers life than only being there when there's nothing better to do. My question is, if we're both alright with this, can we terminate? Also, how would we go about it?

you agree, dad agrees, however who is able to adopt the child in leiu of the father? are you married, does your husband want to adopt your child? depending on the court system, they may not allow termination unless there is another parent to adopt.

i'll be back later with a link or some senior with faster fingers then i will respond.

 

[Isis1]

Florida - Grounds For Termination of Parental Rights

http://www.law.fsu.edu/library/flsupct/sc00-1469/op-sc00-1469.pdf

http://dev.designfarm.com/guardian/media/amendment_case.pdf

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Has paternity ever been established?

 

[RRevak]

response

Regarding the question of who takes Emily: I have a significant other and we've been together for two and a half years but we are not married. We are currently engaged although we dont plan to marry for a while. He wants to be able to adopt Emily once we are finally married but again, the marriage is on hold due to my heavy school schedule. So as of now there isnt anyone to adopt her immediatly. Regarding paternity: There was never a question of paternity on his part until the child support issue came up. Then he immediatly wanted a test. When presented with the option to take one, he refused....and continues to refuse to take one. So the only establishment of paternity thats official is his signature on her birth certificate. I've repeatedly requested a test just to have it in paperwork but thats when he stops answering my phone calls. My funds are limited so affording an attorney to make him take one is difficult.

 

[Isis1]

establishing paternity will be the first step to terminating rights. he has to be established in order to terminate. your boyfriend will have to be your husband to adopt. and most states require one year of marriage prior to accepting an adoption consideration.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

So, you make it sound like an AOP was signed at birth.

a child has the right to be supported by both parents. Why haven't you filed for support?

 

[RRevak]

reply

I tried filing for support through the state. The process was very long and very drawn out. Once they finally contacted him and explained that he was to be made to pay child support, he demanded a paternity test as well as a court hearing. He didnt show up to take the paternity test and stopped answering their phone calls. He also ignored their letters. His response to them was that the number they calculated was much too high and that he was in no shape to afford it. His yearly income is about $42,000 and they calculated that he was to owe about $800 or so per month. After another few months, i just gave up. I understand that my daughter has a right to be supported by both parents, but he doesnt want to pay any form of child support. His fiancee is in the navy and about to head overseas and he wishes to go with her. This is when i proposed the termination option which he agreed to. My fiancee very much wants to support my daugher as he views her like his own. The only support she recieves from her biological father is that he pays her health insurance which comes out of his paychecks. Thats going to change soon as my fiancee wants to place both of us on his policy using the Domestic Partner Clause.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If court had been set and he didn't show, there would have been a default judgment against dad.

Where are you in the process? Did you drop it?

Dad, until terminated, has the constitutional right to be a good dad, mediocre dad, or a bad dad. But unless dad has been convicted of being an axe murderer, child molester, or some other atrocious thing, he can still be dad unless you are WED and have a dad waiting in the wings.

Still don't know why you are letting him off the hook so easily.

 

[RRevak]

reply

Call me petty or childish but that simply isnt right. Why should the biological father, who hasnt wanted to be a real father unless he didnt have a significant other, get to retain his "constitutional rights" to be any kind of father he wants.. bad, mediocre or not there at all? But my fiancee, who really and truly wants to be there, and has consistantly been there even when he didnt live with us, cannot? I'm sorry but i just dont see the logic in that. Why would i want someone to have the right to call himself my daughters father when he's shown my daughter such blatant and callous disregard. She doesnt even ask for him or about him anymore as he doesnt even have the good will to call her. She doesnt even want to speak to him. And believe me, i'm always asking her "if she wants to call daddy". The response as of the last 6 months or so has been a shrug of the shoulders and a no. But she's more than happy to call my fiancee to tell him how her day has gone, what she's done in school that day etc while he's at work. This is why i'm feeling that the termination would be the right thing for everyone. The biological father can move on and be free to do whatever he wants and we can move on with our lives. And when the time comes my then husband will adopt. My daugher deserves a real father, even if it isnt the one she was biologically given.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

Call me petty or childish but that simply isnt right. Why should the biological father, who hasnt wanted to be a real father unless he didnt have a significant other, get to retain his "constitutional rights" to be any kind of father he wants.. bad, mediocre or not there at all? But my fiancee, who really and truly wants to be there, and has consistantly been there even when he didnt live with us, cannot? I'm sorry but i just dont see the logic in that. Why would i want someone to have the right to call himself my daughters father when he's shown my daughter such blatant and callous disregard. She doesnt even ask for him or about him anymore as he doesnt even have the good will to call her. She doesnt even want to speak to him. And believe me, i'm always asking her "if she wants to call daddy". The response as of the last 6 months or so has been a shrug of the shoulders and a no. But she's more than happy to call my fiancee to tell him how her day has gone, what she's done in school that day etc while he's at work. This is why i'm feeling that the termination would be the right thing for everyone. The biological father can move on and be free to do whatever he wants and we can move on with our lives. And when the time comes my then husband will adopt. My daugher deserves a real father, even if it isnt the one she was biologically given.

Your fiance CAN adopt your daughter but you have to be married first! I understand that you are too busy to have a wedding now, but that doesn't mean you can't get married now. Getting married by a justice of the peace takes what? 20 minutes? As IS said, you may need to be married for at least a year before starting the adoption process. Why not get that clock started by getting married at the courthouse? Or are there other reasons for not getting married now?
ETA: Of course, there's all that other stuff that has to happen before the adoption process can begin: Establishing paternity, getting dad to agree, terminating paternity. But again, why not get that ball rolling?

 

[Ohiogal]

Call me petty or childish but that simply isnt right.

Actually it is.

Why should the biological father, who hasnt wanted to be a real father unless he didnt have a significant other, get to retain his "constitutional rights" to be any kind of father he wants..

Because they are CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. You know -- the basis and foundation of our country.

bad, mediocre or not there at all?

Because YOU created a child with him. YOU made the decision to screw him and let him put his penis in your vagina and then when you found out you were pregnant you carried the child to term. YOU did that without first insuring that he would be a good, great, and present father.

But my fiancee, who really and truly wants to be there, and has consistantly been there even when he didnt live with us, cannot?

Because he is a legal stranger who did not participate in the creation of Emily.

I'm sorry but i just dont see the logic in that.

It starts with biology -- some third graders can understand it.

Why would i want someone to have the right to call himself my daughters father when he's shown my daughter such blatant and callous disregard.

You don't have to want it. This is not based on your WANTS.

She doesnt even ask for him or about him anymore as he doesnt even have the good will to call her. She doesnt even want to speak to him. And believe me, i'm always asking her "if she wants to call daddy". The response as of the last 6 months or so has been a shrug of the shoulders and a no. But she's more than happy to call my fiancee to tell him how her day has gone, what she's done in school that day etc while he's at work.

Oh well.

This is why i'm feeling that the termination would be the right thing for everyone. The biological father can move on and be free to do whatever he wants and we can move on with our lives. And when the time comes my then husband will adopt. My daugher deserves a real father, even if it isnt the one she was biologically given.

Well you cannot get the court to terminate his rights until there is someone CAPABLE of assuming them. Which according to the law your fiance is not that person.

 

[RRevak]

reply

to Non Mom- Yes, my school schedule has been the only thing delaying the wedding. I'm a pre-med student and i also assist part-time at the county morgue so for time purposes we were waiting until next year when i've finished my bachelors. That way we could use the time in which i would be completing my medical school applications to have a wedding. I've never given any thought to the idea of a justice ceremony though. And we would only have to be married a year before we could start an adoption petition? What are the requirements for a Justice ceremony? In other words, what paperwork would we need etc? Reply to OhioGal- Actually, the biological father and i were together for 6 years before we became pregnant and during that time all he talked about was wanting a child. Once we actually became pregnant, thats when he changed. The adultry began just before Emily was born which prompted me to leave when she was two months old. I am well versed on how children are created but i was not well versed on the idea that sometimes a person can want something and then decide something else when they get it. No Emily was definately not planned but once we found out he assured me that it was a wonderful thing and that he was going to be great. I trusted him. But as i said, he got it, panicked, then ran. And has never really looked back. Dont be so quick to judge a situation so harshly until you know whats behind it.

 

[Isis1]

to Non Mom- Yes, my school schedule has been the only thing delaying the wedding. I'm a pre-med student and i also assist part-time at the county morgue so for time purposes we were waiting until next year when i've finished my bachelors. That way we could use the time in which i would be completing my medical school applications to have a wedding. I've never given any thought to the idea of a justice ceremony though. And we would only have to be married a year before we could start an adoption petition? What are the requirements for a Justice ceremony? In other words, what paperwork would we need etc? Reply to OhioGal- Actually, the biological father and i were together for 6 years before we became pregnant and during that time all he talked about was wanting a child. Once we actually became pregnant, thats when he changed. The adultry began just before Emily was born which prompted me to leave when she was two months old. I am well versed on how children are created but i was not well versed on the idea that sometimes a person can want something and then decide something else when they get it. No Emily was definately not planned but once we found out he assured me that it was a wonderful thing and that he was going to be great. I trusted him. But as i said, he got it, panicked, then ran. And has never really looked back. Dont be so quick to judge a situation so harshly until you know whats behind it.

i think the point was, after 6 years you still didn't know. and technically, you both were not willing to commit if you both didn't get married before having a baby. but i digress.

go to your local courthouse (county of records) and sign up for a marriage license. it takes 5 minues to fill out the form together. and whatever amount of time you stand in line. now depending on your court, you can get married that day, or you can schedule it a week later. a justice of the peace will do a quick 10 minute ceremoney. i did it. it was painless....

 

[cyjeff]

You see, the courts believe that if you are serious about committing to the wellbeing of a child that you should be serious about committing to each other as well.

Or else the courts will get to hear this case again in a year or so.