parental rights

[JessicaArlyn]

Woo-Hoo!! I finally get up the nerve to stop being a lurker and contribute more.....
Trust me, Decieved, all of us have made our way to this site because of similar situations in our lives. The people who come back understand their obligations, moral and financial, and look here for support. I have looked ALL over, and what IAAL said is all true. It sounds from your posts that the child is 'siding' with the mom, but he is probably just confused and being manipulated. File that order of visitation and spend as much time with him as you can, maybe your love will turn his head around. Sure, it's 'unfair' but what if this biodad is some loony?? YOU raised this child for many years, are you willing to invite a possible worse person into YOUR child's life?? Buck up, and we will all support you as you do the right thing.
Have a good day, Jessica/CA

 

[Illinois Parent]

Hi decieved -

(pulls out soap box once again)

When we are writing, unless we are a VERY good writer, it is very difficult to convey tone of voice. While your statement may well have been meant in a 'aw, gee, thanks, but that's not what I'm after' tone, it could just as easily have been taken in a
'don't preach to ME about morality, just give me a legal answer, thank you very much' defensive tone. You see, there is no way to really tell.

Because this site is full of people and issues that are for the most part intensely personal; because people responding to posts here (IAAL, LegalBeagle, AlwaysSearching, JessicArlyn, et. al) have pretty much the same tack on matters of parental responsibility, your succinctly worded response struck a chord. Unless I am mistaken, all of these respondants have, at one time or another stated something along the lines of 'parental responsibility is not something you can lay aside because it becomes burdensome, difficult or unpleasant'.

Please, go back and read some of the other responses, and you'll see where they are all coming from (myself included). The general consensus here is "Do the right thing where your (or any)kids are concerned. Period."

Most of us have been trying for years to do just that and someone conveying the thought of 'dropping out' of a child's life throws up red flags. We are ALL wrong for being too quick to judge you on this. But I ask for your understanding that many of us have come face to face with those who are MOST interested in themselves, their rights, their needs and only peripherally, if at all, interested in what is best for the child.

I am sure I'll get consensus here when I say that there are times when the child involved has been twisted to serve the best interest of one adult or another. I'm equally certain that the consensus is pity for the child. While the child may be wrong, in the wrong and doing wrong, they are only doing what they have been taught. This seems to be your situation. I do feel for you, as I don't know how I would be able to reconcile what I know to be right with the necessary steps for self-preservation you must take.

How truly sad for you. How truly tragic for the child. If I were in your shoes, I would probably end up doing what I legally had to do, but still keep the door open for this child. Who knows? Maybe this child will someday have an epiphany and want to reestablish contact with the one moral person in her life. So, be that person. You will serve the greater good in the long run. Even if she never, even as an adult comes to you, you can put your head down at night knowing you did the right thing. We'll notice.

And of course, if you lay out more of your situation, maybe someone can suggest ways for you to proceed. I have learned, in just a few short weeks on these posts, that there is truly "nothing new under the sun".

 

[Tigres]

IP,

It's absolutely lovely to have such an eloquent voice of reason among us! At some point I may just decide to ask you if I can repost some of your posts on my website. The world should hear what you are saying. Not that I think the world would ever go to my website!

Tig



------------------
I am not a lawyer. Any information relayed is merely my own experience or research.
In Egypt, Cats were once worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

"PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,SEEKS FROG."

 

[Illinois Parent]

Tigres -
Thanks for your kind words. BECAUSE you are a woman of OBVIOUSLY great intelligence and wisdom, you have my permission to do as you please with my posts. Same goes for anyone else - just don't feel obligated to tell me when you use them to line the bird cage.

And by the way Tigres, when you get rich off your fab Web page, just remember lil' ol moi.

"Cats have 9 lives, need 1. Moms have 1 life, need 9. Proof God was a man?"

[This message has been edited by Illinois Parent (edited September 28, 2000).]

 

[LegalBeagle]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Illinois Parent:
BECAUSE you are a woman of OBVIOUSLY great intelligence and wisdom<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh she is... and I am glad someone else is telling her so because she never believes me..