stormyskies87
Junior Member
Ok. I am trying to get some information for someone I know going through this giant mess. So please, bare with me.
So, he moved from Pennsylvania to North Carolina however many years ago. Got bad into drugs. Met a girl whom was also into drugs. Dated for awhile. Left her and moved back to PA to get away from her and said drugs. He lived in Pa for several months and got clean and then ended up going back to her and getting on drugs again. So, as soon as he moves back, she wants to have a baby. In his drug induced state, he decided this would be a great idea. Within weeks of him moving back, she was pregnant. They had their baby. He stuck around for 2-3 years trying to make it work but they were both so bad into drugs, he left again for Pennsylvania to get clean. He succeeded. She got clean... So on and so forth. On a side note, this child looks nothing like him and he often wonders if he is even his. So that's the background information.
They decided on a set amount of child support on their own without going through the courts. He has given her $280 every month since he's left 5 years ago. He's even given her extra money when she needed it. He's kept every receipt. They didn't go through the courts because according to her, he would have to pay almost $500, cause that's what single parents of 1 would get where she lives, according to her. Everything I checked into with his current income estimates between $50 and $100 depending on her income and what not (things that I had to guess at cause I don't know). I've also heard, that since it's not through the courts, that everything he has sent her is considered a gift and she can continue to receive it from him and then when the kid is 18, take him for 16 years of back child support. How true is this? How screwed is he? And what should/can he do to improve his situation?
The mother will only let him go to North Carolina to see him. She won't make any exceptions to allow him to visit in Pennsylvania. To get the money and time off from work to drive 10 hours to see his kid and then drive back is near impossible. So, for the first time in 5 years, he has finally went down to visit. All went well. He was thinking that perhaps in the summer when his son is out of school that he could come up for a few weeks and spend some of the summer with him. She will not allow that unless she can come and stay with him. He doesn't want to visit with her. Just his son. He left her for a reason. He has his own life and is living with his new fiance in her house and really doesn't want his ex staying there. Can she be forced by a judge to allow him to take him without her? What does he have to do to go about getting that done? Any help is much, much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
So, he moved from Pennsylvania to North Carolina however many years ago. Got bad into drugs. Met a girl whom was also into drugs. Dated for awhile. Left her and moved back to PA to get away from her and said drugs. He lived in Pa for several months and got clean and then ended up going back to her and getting on drugs again. So, as soon as he moves back, she wants to have a baby. In his drug induced state, he decided this would be a great idea. Within weeks of him moving back, she was pregnant. They had their baby. He stuck around for 2-3 years trying to make it work but they were both so bad into drugs, he left again for Pennsylvania to get clean. He succeeded. She got clean... So on and so forth. On a side note, this child looks nothing like him and he often wonders if he is even his. So that's the background information.
They decided on a set amount of child support on their own without going through the courts. He has given her $280 every month since he's left 5 years ago. He's even given her extra money when she needed it. He's kept every receipt. They didn't go through the courts because according to her, he would have to pay almost $500, cause that's what single parents of 1 would get where she lives, according to her. Everything I checked into with his current income estimates between $50 and $100 depending on her income and what not (things that I had to guess at cause I don't know). I've also heard, that since it's not through the courts, that everything he has sent her is considered a gift and she can continue to receive it from him and then when the kid is 18, take him for 16 years of back child support. How true is this? How screwed is he? And what should/can he do to improve his situation?
The mother will only let him go to North Carolina to see him. She won't make any exceptions to allow him to visit in Pennsylvania. To get the money and time off from work to drive 10 hours to see his kid and then drive back is near impossible. So, for the first time in 5 years, he has finally went down to visit. All went well. He was thinking that perhaps in the summer when his son is out of school that he could come up for a few weeks and spend some of the summer with him. She will not allow that unless she can come and stay with him. He doesn't want to visit with her. Just his son. He left her for a reason. He has his own life and is living with his new fiance in her house and really doesn't want his ex staying there. Can she be forced by a judge to allow him to take him without her? What does he have to do to go about getting that done? Any help is much, much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
