Paternity/CS/Name change

[Smatchet]

UPDATE - Paternity/CS/Name change

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? AL

I have been lurking about the forums for some time now, reading, but haven’t found anything applicable.

I have 5 month old infant child with 38 yoa former bf - he moved out, at my request, when I was 2 months pregnant. He has had no contact with the child, and refuses all offers of visitation which both I and his brother have tried to arrange (his brother & brother's family have had continued contact with baby). Dad also refuses to become employed, living with relatives and staying out all night gambling and playing pool, and has paid no support. He last worked in a legitimate job approx 5 years ago. Paternity/child support proceedings are pending. Relief requested includes guideline cs based upon income imputed to him at his last earned wage, which is $8.00 per hour higher than minimum wage, due to his voluntary unemployment. Other requested relief includes reimbursement of ½ of uninsured maternity and birth expenses, ½ of future uninsured doctor, dental and ortho, and life insurance with me as owner and responsible for payment of premium, and child as beneficiary (as there would likely be no ss benefits if father dies before child reaches majority).

Issues in dispute are:

Amount of wages to be imputed to father
Insurance policy on father’s life
Name of child--Child’s name is currently “dad’sname-mom’sname”. My last name is my former married name, and is the same as my 2 children from prior marriage. It is my position that the hyphenated name is in the best interest of my child, as father has no contact and child would be the “odd man out” if name is changed to just dad’s last name. AL statute is somewhat contradictory - 1981 statute provides that father may seek name change after legitimation, and if I object the probate court will hear the issue and make a determination. A 1983 AG opinion interpreting the statute, however, states that if the CP objects, the name cannot be changed.

Would someone please provide me with some info regarding how other states have handled the issues regarding name change and life insurance, in the absence of agreement. Cites would be very helpful.

Amazingly, there is no trailer anywhere in this story; perhaps dad will move in with someone who lives in a trailer to provide the perfect hick ending.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? AL

I have been lurking about the forums for some time now, reading, but haven’t found anything applicable.

I have 5 month old infant child with 38 yoa former bf - he moved out, at my request, when I was 2 months pregnant. He has had no contact with the child, and refuses all offers of visitation which both I and his brother have tried to arrange (his brother & brother's family have had continued contact with baby). Dad also refuses to become employed, living with relatives and staying out all night gambling and playing pool, and has paid no support. He last worked in a legitimate job approx 5 years ago. Paternity/child support proceedings are pending. Relief requested includes guideline cs based upon income imputed to him at his last earned wage, which is $8.00 per hour higher than minimum wage, due to his voluntary unemployment. Other requested relief includes reimbursement of ½ of uninsured maternity and birth expenses, ½ of future uninsured doctor, dental and ortho, and life insurance with me as owner and responsible for payment of premium, and child as beneficiary (as there would likely be no ss benefits if father dies before child reaches majority).

Issues in dispute are:

Amount of wages to be imputed to father
Insurance policy on father’s life
Name of child--Child’s name is currently “dad’sname-mom’sname”. My last name is my former married name, and is the same as my 2 children from prior marriage. It is my position that the hyphenated name is in the best interest of my child, as father has no contact and child would be the “odd man out” if name is changed to just dad’s last name. AL statute is somewhat contradictory - 1981 statute provides that father may seek name change after legitimation, and if I object the probate court will hear the issue and make a determination. A 1983 AG opinion interpreting the statute, however, states that if the CP objects, the name cannot be changed.

Would someone please provide me with some info regarding how other states have handled the issues regarding name change and life insurance, in the absence of agreement. Cites would be very helpful.

Amazingly, there is no trailer anywhere in this story; perhaps dad will move in with someone who lives in a trailer to provide the perfect hick ending.

Its likely that you can get all of that ordered (except perhaps the life insurance), your problem is going to be collecting on that. If he has no job and refuses to work, its going to be harder than heck to collect.

On top of that....he may simply refuse to get and pay for the life insurance policy even if its ordered.

 

[Smatchet]

Its likely that you can get all of that ordered (except perhaps the life insurance), your problem is going to be collecting on that. If he has no job and refuses to work, its going to be harder than heck to collect.

On top of that....he may simply refuse to get and pay for the life insurance policy even if its ordered.

I requested the life insurance specifically because I know he will likely never pay (he has stated that he doesn't care if he goes to jail--he won't have to work in there either! ) I will pay the premiums on the life insurance, I have just requested the court to order that he submit to all testing required and sign all necessary documentation for the policy to issue.

 

[stealth2]

I wouldn't necessarily be too certain about the imputation, either. He wasn't working long before the child was conceived.

I'm curious why you picked the worthless deadbeat to father a child.

 

[Smatchet]

I wouldn't necessarily be too certain about the imputation, either. He wasn't working long before the child was conceived.

I'm curious why you picked the worthless deadbeat to father a child.

His prior work history, although 5 years ago, consists of 14 years as a welder/fitter with the same employer. Although the court may not impute his last wages, I do expect that they will impute significantly more than min. wage, as he could take an entry level job with no experience earning 2x min wage. I have researched the state employment service job site and will have an exhibit detailing available jobs to present in court.

I didn't exactly choose him to father a child. Baby is the caboose (other kids are 12 and 9), and was a happy accident. And although dad refuses to work, his gambling earnings are significant--just not provable. When he began refusing to contribute $ to the household, and I get up and work everyday, I showed him the door.

I'll be happy to get this behind me and never have to tell this whole pathetic story again. What an idiot I have been; however, I have lovely children, a good job, and a good life. If it were just me, I wouldn't push any of these issues, and I'd just let him disappear. But I have a son who will be asking me about his dad in a few years, and I want to be able to say that I did everything I could to make him responsible for his child and to try to establish contact.

 

[nextwife]

I have 5 month old infant child with 38 yoa former bf - he moved out, at my request, when I was 2 months pregnant. ..... He last worked in a legitimate job approx 5 years ago.

Honest to gosh, you even slept with a guy like this - much less MOVED IN TOGETHER, much less went ahead and had a baby with him?

I hope you are ready to support this child yourself, because he was a deadbeat for years before you chose this guy to be daddy. As a tax payer, I truly hope you can support this child if he's not around to help. Because with a profession like gambling who knows what his future will bring.

 

[Smatchet]

Honest to gosh, you even slept with a guy like this - much less MOVED IN TOGETHER, much less went ahead and had a baby with him?

Obviously, otherwise we wouldn't be here with you being so astonished.

Feel free to take potshots, goodness knows they are well deserved, but I'd appreciate it if you would also add any info you might have which is relevant to the issues that will be addressed in court.

 

[nextwife]

Well, I'd suggest that you have life policies on BOTH you and your ex, rather than on just he. If YOU were to die, your ex would likely get custody. And you need to make sure the kids are provided for, regardless. I'd suggest a life policy against you with a children's trust as the beneficiary, and someone OTHER than ex as trustee. You as owner, though.

If it's been so many years, you may not be able to get income imputed back that far. Also, many industrial wages have been flat, and benfits actually cut. So if he had remained in the same job, he might not actually be making a gross income package any higher, or even as high, as back then. I see a lot of mortgage applications, and salaries have NOT all gone up these past five years.

Establishing his wage five years ago may not be as important as establishing what persons employed at his, and similar, employers, in the same job, are getting NOW.

 

[Smatchet]

Establishing his wage five years ago may not be as important as establishing what persons employed at his, and similar, employers, in the same job, are getting NOW.

Thanks for your post. I have researched through the state employment service and will have an exhibit detailing available job openings in his area. Min. wage in AL is $5.25 per hour. Beginning wages for welders with only 6 months experience are $10-16 per hour. Given his past experience, he could probably obtain employment at the high end of that scale, but I am asking that wages be imputed at $13.00 per hour. In trying to settle, I offered to impute at just $10 per hour. He thinks that since he chooses not to work, he won't have to pay any support. Nevermind what the law says.

Re life insurance. I have had life insurance on me for years, and increased it during my pregnancy. I have established a trust to provide for my children in the event of my death. The trust is quite detailed and will provide for my children in the manner I would if I were alive. The trust res will be distributed equally after the baby reaches the age of 25. Suffice it to say that I am worth far more dead than alive at this point.

 

[LdiJ]

Suffice it to say that I am worth far more dead than alive at this point.

I can relate to that!

 

[VeronicaGia]

You are still going to have a very hard time trying to impute income based on five year old wages. And you'll never get it anyway, so I'm not sure why you're bothering to try for something that high. He has been out of the workforce for a long time.

Keep in mind that once paternity is established, he could file for joint legal and physical custody. Since he's not working, he could be the child's main caregiver, meaning he may have the child more than you and you could end up paying him. I'm not saying he'd actually file for this or get it if he filed for it, but he could easily make a case to be a stay at home parent.

 

[Smatchet]

You are still going to have a very hard time trying to impute income based on five year old wages. And you'll never get it anyway, so I'm not sure why you're bothering to try for something that high. He has been out of the workforce for a long time.

Keep in mind that once paternity is established, he could file for joint legal and physical custody. Since he's not working, he could be the child's main caregiver, meaning he may have the child more than you and you could end up paying him. I'm not saying he'd actually file for this or get it if he filed for it, but he could easily make a case to be a stay at home parent.

I think the judge will find that imputing at $10 hr is reasonable, as there are at least 20 entry level jobs in welding available in this area right now and he has 14+ years of experience.

He has no basis to argue to be a stay at home parent, as he has no home. Additionally, he wants nothing to do with our son and has refused any contact. Further, he stays out all night shooting pool, and sleeps until 2 or 3 pm. This is one scenario I am not worried about, based upon rulings in the jurisdiction in which I live and the facts of this case.

I appreciate the input from all who have responded. Does anyone have any input re the change of name issue?

 

[betterthanher]

I think the judge will find that imputing at $10 hr is reasonable, as there are at least 20 entry level jobs in welding available in this area right now and he has 14+ years of experience.

First of all -- has paternity ever been established here? You two were never married. If not, then until that happens, he is under no legal responsibility to pay you a penny. Just like he has no legal rights to the child and you don't have to allow him to see the child. Also, he's under no legal obligation to pursue visitation either. So your attempts and those by others should stop.

As far as your imputing issue: Don't get your hopes up. You only hope a Judge will do that and that's unlikely. Also, I noticed in a previous response, you mentioned about bringing job listings. I'd keep those at home because those will have no relevance.

We're telling you -- be prepared to have an income imputed onto him that will be roughly minimum wage at 40-hours/week. You nor the courts don't really have any legal authority to impute anything more because of his work history.

He has no basis to argue to be a stay at home parent, as he has no home. Additionally, he wants nothing to do with our son and has refused any contact. Further, he stays out all night shooting pool, and sleeps until 2 or 3 pm. This is one scenario I am not worried about, based upon rulings in the jurisdiction in which I live and the facts of this case.

His sleeping habits and how he spends his money is HIS business and are irrelevant to this. Until paternity is established, he can deny all he wants.

Your life insurance issue: since you two were never married, you just can't "order" what you want. Life insurance is one thing. You have no legal authority to "order" anyone to carry life insurance -- same goes with a court. That's walking the line of abuse of discretion. If he chooses to carry life insurance, that's his choice -- not yours.

As far as health insurance, if it isn't available to him, he isn't going to be ordered to have it. The child support amount will be calculated accordingly (with the fact that you're paying the insurance, so his payment will reflect that).

You've been given realistic advice. If the tables were turned and you were a guy asking this of a woman, the same advice would apply. He's no different. You've been given the realities that since he's not working, it'll be very difficult to get money from him. You nor a court have any authority to order anyone to work. Plus, I'd like to remind you that a Judge will also look at the fact you shackled up with this guy -- who had no job and slept until mid-afternoon. All of a sudden because he's not working and sleeping until mid-afternoon is an "issue" with you will be irrelevant.

 

[Smatchet]

First of all -- has paternity ever been established here? You two were never married. If not, then until that happens, he is under no legal responsibility to pay you a penny. Just like he has no legal rights to the child and you don't have to allow him to see the child. Also, he's under no legal obligation to pursue visitation either. So your attempts and those by others should stop.

AL recognizes marriage by commonlaw and divorce proceedings are pending. Paternity has been established by genetic testing, but not adjudicted in court. Although the matter has yet to go to court, standing orders in this jurisdiction require that both parents contribute to the support of children while matters are pending, and require that neither parent withhold the child from the other parent. He will never be under a legal obligation to visit, even after the case is tried. I'm not attempting to force visitation, what I have done is make every effort, through his brother, to offer visitation so no contact between the two of us required (which btw was what he had stated the problem was to his brother, until offer was made. Now he states the problem is child's last name.)
I will be filing a motion on Monday to transfer the proceedings to Juvenile Court for paternity/cs and waiving the issue of marriage.

As far as your imputing issue: Don't get your hopes up. You only hope a Judge will do that and that's unlikely. Also, I noticed in a previous response, you mentioned about bringing job listings. I'd keep those at home because those will have no relevance. We're telling you -- be prepared to have an income imputed onto him that will be roughly minimum wage at 40-hours/week. You nor the courts don't really have any legal authority to impute anything more because of his work history.

AL cs guidelines provide that income from prior employment can be imputed if the obligor is found to be voluntarily unemployed or underemployed. I understand the problem with this is the length of time during which he has been unemployed. He has been unemployed for so long because he says he makes more $ gambling than he could earn at a job. Frankly, no matter what the cs order is, whether it's $367 (using $10) or significantly less, he'll probably never pay a penny of it. Which leads us to . . .

Your life insurance issue: since you two were never married, you just can't "order" what you want. Life insurance is one thing. You have no legal authority to "order" anyone to carry life insurance -- same goes with a court. That's walking the line of abuse of discretion. If he chooses to carry life insurance, that's his choice -- not yours.

I am very sorry to hear that the court does not have the authority to order him to allow life insurance to secure the cs obligation. Since I don't anticipate that dad will do the right thing, and since there are no ss benefits payable if dad becomes deceased, I was hoping to have this as a safety net for son. Dad as insured, me as owner and payor, and child as beneficiary.

As far as health insurance, if it isn't available to him, he isn't going to be ordered to have it.

I haven't asked that dad provide health insurance. I provide health and dental insurance. I have requested that he be ordered to pay 1/2 of all uninsured meds.

You nor a court have any authority to order anyone to work. Plus, I'd like to remind you that a Judge will also look at the fact you shackled up with this guy -- who had no job and slept until mid-afternoon. All of a sudden because he's not working and sleeping until mid-afternoon is an "issue" with you will be irrelevant.

I am aware that he can't be ordered to work. However, I can present evidence which shows that he has the ability to earn above min. wage. If the listings I referred to aren't competent evidence, what is? Whether the judge imputes higher than min. wage . . . who knows. As far as not working and sleeping all day being an "issue" with me, my statements were made in response to a poster who felt that dad may have standing for custody as a stay at home parent. Frankly, what he does with his time doesn't matter to me, and I don't care where his $ comes from. I would like for him to support his child, as he is supposed to do.

If the tables were turned and you were a guy asking this of a woman, the same advice would apply. He's no different.

I have not assumed that the advice was gender biased. Thank you for your input and particularly for your clarification of the life insurance issue.

 

[betterthanher]

AL recognizes marriage by commonlaw and divorce proceedings are pending.

But there are guidelines that are followed whether a relationship is considered "common law." It's not as easy as you think. Just because two people are living together doesn't necessarily constitute 'common law marriage.'

Paternity has been established by genetic testing, but not adjudicted in court. Although the matter has yet to go to court, standing orders in this jurisdiction require that both parents contribute to the support of children while matters are pending, and require that neither parent withhold the child from the other parent.

But you are not withholding the child. He is not required to be in the child's life whatsoever (outside of support), let alone visit. Like we've told you, he's unemployed, so his ability to "support" the child is extremely limited.

He will never be under a legal obligation to visit, even after the case is tried.

Wrong! And please don't try to tell us any differently. Visitation is a priviledge. No court can "order" him to see the child.

I will be filing a motion on Monday to transfer the proceedings to Juvenile Court for paternity/cs and waiving the issue of marriage.

If paternity has already been established, then all you should need to do is file that with the paperwork. One less step.

AL cs guidelines provide that income from prior employment can be imputed if the obligor is found to be voluntarily unemployed or underemployed. I understand the problem with this is the length of time during which he has been unemployed. He has been unemployed for so long because he says he makes more $ gambling than he could earn at a job.

You've pretty much answered your own dillemma here. The fact is he's been unemployed for the past 5 years. If he all of a sudden became unemployed during this process, that would be a different situation. I hope you're not forgetting that you shacked up with this guy knowing his situation. If you think a Court won't recognize that, you're crazy. It wasn't an issue then and now it is? Hmm.

I am very sorry to hear that the court does not have the authority to order him to allow life insurance to secure the cs obligation. Since I don't anticipate that dad will do the right thing, and since there are no ss benefits payable if dad becomes deceased, I was hoping to have this as a safety net for son. Dad as insured, me as owner and payor, and child as beneficiary.

It secures nothing. If he has a 10-year policy and doesn't die, then nobody gets squat. Do you want the courts to have the legal authority to "order" whatever some other person requests? I certainly hope not. Plus, with you two never being married, I am not sure on the legalities of you being able to be the "owner and payor" of such policy.

I haven't asked that dad provide health insurance. I provide health and dental insurance. I have requested that he be ordered to pay 1/2 of all uninsured meds.

Medical insurance is involved in every cs case. If you pay it, then the amount he will be ordered to pay will reflect that. If he decides to cover health insurance, then his amount will reflect that as well.

I am aware that he can't be ordered to work. However, I can present evidence which shows that he has the ability to earn above min. wage. If the listings I referred to aren't competent evidence, what is?

You're still not getting it. Why aren't you understanding the fact that he hasn't worked in 5 years? You have to PROVE he is underemployed and your chances of that are very, very slim. Bringing in job listings means nothing. You KNEW this when you got involved with him and it is a very crucial factor in your case. It being an "issue" with you NOW is slightly hypocritical, don't ya think?

Whether the judge imputes higher than min. wage . . . who knows.

We're telling you -- he won't. And if he does, he'll have a case for an appeal right there.

As far as not working and sleeping all day being an "issue" with me, my statements were made in response to a poster who felt that dad may have standing for custody as a stay at home parent.

He very well could have a chance to claim to be a "stay at home dad." Notice I said "claim."

Frankly, what he does with his time doesn't matter to me, and I don't care where his $ comes from. I would like for him to support his child, as he is supposed to do.

And if his obligation is factored in at minimum wage and 40-hours-a-week, that IS supporting the child. I hate to keep bringing this up, but you can't completely fault him because you were well aware of his situation when you got involved with him.

You really need to start focusing on being realistic here. Support factored in at minimum-wage/40 hours (be sure to request this!). Also, his support amount will reflect you carrying health insurance. If there is day-care involved, you'll BOTH share the costs of that, too.