Personal and legal advice

[thehigherroad]

What is the name of your state? California


I am asking for some personal advice along with legal advice on how any of you have handled a situation like this:
My ex and I have joint legal / physical custody and about a 60/40 time split of our 3 kids. He was ordered to pay $245 in monthly support and told me that because of this he does not have to pay for anything else. I am talking about school sports (that he wants them to do) field trips and other school expenses such as yearbooks, pe clothes and things like that. Anyone else have to deal with this? He said his lawyer told him the support covers all of these things and he shouldn't have to pay anything else. Is that true? I know I could just tell the kids they can't do these things or just suck it up and pay for it all by myself. But he is telling them to go on the trips and sign up for the sports but won't pay for half. New court order doesn't say anything about this and old order says half of uncovered medical expenses but doesn't reference anything about school expenses. What is standard? Does the court really expect the support to cover these things?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Zephyr]

usually support is to cover everything (or at least his half) not specified in the court order...given that he has the children 40% he does need to purchase clothing and all of their necessitities for at his home as well.

you can't make him pay more.

 

[proud_parent]

What is the name of your state? California


I am asking for some personal advice along with legal advice on how any of you have handled a situation like this:
My ex and I have joint legal / physical custody and about a 60/40 time split of our 3 kids. He was ordered to pay $245 in monthly support and told me that because of this he does not have to pay for anything else. I am talking about school sports (that he wants them to do) field trips and other school expenses such as yearbooks, pe clothes and things like that. Anyone else have to deal with this? He said his lawyer told him the support covers all of these things and he shouldn't have to pay anything else. Is that true? I know I could just tell the kids they can't do these things or just suck it up and pay for it all by myself. But he is telling them to go on the trips and sign up for the sports but won't pay for half. New court order doesn't say anything about this and old order says half of uncovered medical expenses but doesn't reference anything about school expenses. What is standard? Does the court really expect the support to cover these things?

Thanks in advance.

Quite frankly, he is is right. He is not required to pay any amount beyond what is ordered, no matter what it is for.

Those extras you describe are just that. Extras.

How old are your children? It may be time for you to sit down and explain to them how a household budget works, where the money goes, and what factors must be considered in determining where any funds available (after all obligations are met) may be spent. Have them participate in deciding what items they are willing to work toward or to do without. If there are items left over that you personally think it important for the kids to have, figure out how you will pay for it.

And if there's a special, big ticket item that you absolutely cannot swing on your own, consider politely telling Dad that funds are tight and asking whether he would be willing to make some contribution. If he says no, then be prepared to drop it or to go it alone.

 

[Humusluvr]

But he is telling them to go on the trips and sign up for the sports but won't pay for half. .

His lawyer is correct, but he doesn't get to dictate what they do on YOUR TIME. If he wants them to go on trips, they should be during his time and he pays for it.

If the trip is on your time and you can afford it, and you are ok with it - then you allow it.

I would personally write him an email like this :

Dear EX,

In order to avoid confusion in the future, please discuss with me any school trips, or special purchases you would like to share the cost of, before you discuss anything with the kids. I can't afford to spend over a certain amount from my budget for extras, so if you would like to provide it - I'm all for it! Otherwise, we will make a decision on whether the funds are available. I don't want the kids to get excited about something I may not be able to afford on my own. If you want to make the decision to purchase something, you may absolutely do so on your own. Thank you in advance for talking to me first so we can work out an agreement.

Sincerely,
me.


What do you think?

 

[jbowman]

I asked about this in court when I went last January. My judge specifically told me that she could not order NCP to pay for half of extracurricular activities. The only mandatory add-ons are medical reimbursements and day care expenses and you only get that if you specifically ask for them to be in the order.

So no, if you can not afford to put kids in extracurriculars, they just wont be able to do them. Child support is supposed to help cover those costs, along with school supplies, clothes, etc.