Please Explain "upon my agreement"

[yecatskimball]

What is the name of your state?NH

Could someone please explain to me EXACTLY what "upon my agreement" means in regards to visitation?

I have sole legal and sole physical custody of our children, and the visitation is set up as upon my agreement....what does this mean really?

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state?NH

Could someone please explain to me EXACTLY what "upon my agreement" means in regards to visitation?

I have sole legal and sole physical custody of our children, and the visitation is set up as upon my agreement....what does this mean really?

It means you control the strings. But why would you want to deny the kids their right to the other parent?

 

[Rushia]

It means that when NCP calls and asked for a visit you have the right to say yes or no. Be warned though that if you say no too many times or completely withhold visitation then when the NCP takes you back to court a schedule will be set up.

I, too have sole legal/physical custody. Dad and I make our own arrangements that make us both happy and as such we haven't been to court over visitation since the divorce in two years. I even go to his house and visit with him, the new wife and their new baby. They come to mine. I even get to babysit their little one sometimes. It works best for our children that we can get along and do this "our" way rather than have a court schedule. We all have our moments sometimes as that will happen. It can work if you let it. If you want to talk more feel free to pm me.

 

[yecatskimball]

NO...in the four years we have been divorced I have NEVER denied him seeing the children~even if I had plans I would change them to accomodate his schedule(he doesnt want to see them much so when he shows an interest I bend over backwards to make sure the kids see him)

I just never understood what "upon my agreement" meant.

It concerned me lately because he didnt want to see the children for 8 months~said he had "things he was doing"....and some of those "things" he told me...are not good (read here illegal...and drinking to much...lost his lic. lost the place he was living)...long story short..now he is staying with a couple who know his brother...and I am concerned.

He has mentioned in passing lately that he might want to see the kids. I said that I would be willing to drive them to him(he lives in another town about 45 miles) but that I would drop them off for the day(drive around or go to the mall so that they would have private time with their dad) but that I didnt want them to sleep over or to be left alone with the couple. He got angry at that...

 

[whatthistime]

What is the name of your state?NH

Could someone please explain to me EXACTLY what "upon my agreement" means in regards to visitation?

I have sole legal and sole physical custody of our children, and the visitation is set up as upon my agreement....what does this mean really?

Ah, the wording of a non involved parent.
In essence, yes, you have the say so, but be prepared if he changes his mind and wants a SOP he'll likely get it. I have the same situation. I've never said no to my ex regarding visitation, but he took me back to court anyway. He didn't want to be involved at all the first two years of the childs life. But then when the baby was out of diapers he got interested and came around, sporadically, but he did come around.
Keep records for your own protection. Dates he has the child, etc. I suggest just making notes on a regular calender every weekend, whether he takes the kids or not. That way if Dad tries to tell a court that you denied him visitation, at least you have some dates documented.
Good Luck.

 

[yecatskimball]

Thank you everyone for helping me!