Possible restraining order against step-parent?

[kik1999]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

This is so stupid, I feel like I'm in high school again, however, I need advice on how to handle an over involved step-parent to my daughter. My ex husband and I have had a falling out after 8 years of amicable co-parenting. I believe it is due to his wife, as he has stated many times he wants to remain amicable. But I'm at a loss as to how to stop her from getting involved. This past week she has sent me numerous emails stating that she is the LEGAL step-parent of my child and has LEGAL rights. I have, of course, informed her otherwise, and asked her to stop contacting me and to stay out of affairs regarding our daughter.

She has now stooped to an all time low. She has contacted my place of employment and told them that I am a drug user (which, obviously, I'm not), just to be spiteful. I will gladly take a drug screen and pass, but what steps should I take to limit her destructive behavior? Is this the type of thing that I contact the police regarding? Do I get a restraining order? Do I take my ex back to court and if so, for what? I can and have ignored her emails, but this is involving my livelyhood now. Unacceptable and immature in my opinion. Isn't this harassment of some sort? Thank you for your time on this IMMATURE matter. I can't believe I am in my 30s and having to deal with this....

 

[Ohiogal]

File a police report for harrassment. Ask for a restraining order against her -- NOT a domestic violence protection order. They are different things.
Then you may be able to take your ex back to court depending on how your shared parenting plan/court orders read.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

This is so stupid, I feel like I'm in high school again, however, I need advice on how to handle an over involved step-parent to my daughter. My ex husband and I have had a falling out after 8 years of amicable co-parenting. I believe it is due to his wife, as he has stated many times he wants to remain amicable. But I'm at a loss as to how to stop her from getting involved. This past week she has sent me numerous emails stating that she is the LEGAL step-parent of my child and has LEGAL rights. I have, of course, informed her otherwise, and asked her to stop contacting me and to stay out of affairs regarding our daughter.

She has now stooped to an all time low. She has contacted my place of employment and told them that I am a drug user (which, obviously, I'm not), just to be spiteful. I will gladly take a drug screen and pass, but what steps should I take to limit her destructive behavior? Is this the type of thing that I contact the police regarding? Do I get a restraining order? Do I take my ex back to court and if so, for what? I can and have ignored her emails, but this is involving my livelyhood now. Unacceptable and immature in my opinion. Isn't this harassment of some sort? Thank you for your time on this IMMATURE matter. I can't believe I am in my 30s and having to deal with this....

How do you know it was her? Are you assuming or is there actual proof?

 

[kik1999]

Thank you SO much OG! I want this childish behavior to stop. Emails and phone calls are one thing, but letters/contacting my employer is another.

 

[kik1999]

How do you know it was her? Are you assuming or is there actual proof?

She told me in a text message that she contacted so and so at my company regarding my 'drug use'. I have been contacted by the person stating her allegations. Funny, if there was really suspected drug use, why is she telling my employer and NOT CPS? That's why I know this is spiteful.

 

[Just Blue]

She told me in a text message that she contacted so and so at my company regarding my 'drug use'. I have been contacted by the person stating her allegations. Funny, if there was really suspected drug use, why is she telling my employer and NOT CPS? That's why I know this is spiteful.

Wow!! Not only is she a jerk, but she is a dumb-ass to boot!! Save all communications from her and do as OG suggests.

Also you might want to consider a civil suit for defamation of character....

 

[kik1999]

Yes, she isn't too bright. I can't believe this is happening. It's embarrassing to say the least that I even have had to have this conversation with my employer. She contacted a Senior VP at my company, who doesn't even know me. I work for a large national very well known company. He's the CEO's right hand guy. I'm assuming she got his name from the newspaper or internet. All b/c I asked her to let my ex and I handle issues regarding my daughter. My ex is even tired of her bs, or so he's told me. He had NO idea that she did this until I called him and told him.

I thought about the civil suit, but I don't have any monetary damages.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

I thought about the civil suit, but I don't have any monetary damages.

$1 plus attorney and court costs? And a no contact order prohibiting her from contacting you, your employer, your church...

 

[kik1999]

So how will this affect her interacting with our daughter - it shouldn't , right? And should I really contact an attorney regarding a suit? I didn't think there were ones out there that would take a case as immature and stupid as this. I absolutely cannot imagine 10 more years of a relationship like this with someone who has such involvement with my daughter. Ugh!

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

I didn't think there were [attorneys] out there that would take a case as immature and stupid as this. . Ugh!

Well, there are alot of immature and stupid attorneys.

On the flip side, just stop communicating with her. Block her emails. Let her phone calls go to voice mail, or hang up.

 

[California9909]

Well, there are alot of immature and stupid attorneys.

On the flip side, just stop communicating with her. Block her emails. Let her phone calls go to voice mail, or hang up.

I have been thru something like this with my x-wife and I suggest that you do NOT continue to communicate with her in any way BUT DO NOT block her emails - they are great evidence. Absolutely call the police. My x got so bad, it was considered a criminal harassment case (I dropped the charges cuz I didn't want baby-mama in jail and she stopped bugging me at the time)

Just my input - keep her emails coming tho. Do not block them but don't respond to them.

 

[kik1999]

Thank you for the advice, Cali. I have also not responded to text messages, allow her calls to go to voice mails (which I save) and have saved every email since 2004. The only response I gave her, was a couple of weeks ago, when I kindly (but adamantly) told her to allow my ex husband and I to resolve issues regarding OUR daughter, reminding her I did not have to communicate with her (since she is not party to our order), and asking her to stop contacting me in any way, shape or form. In her response I received from the one email I sent her, is where she stated that she was my daughter's LEGAL stepmother. She assumes since she is married to my ex, that she has some type of legal relationship or entitlement to be invovled. I wish there was someplace I could point my ex to show him that she doesn't have rights. Unfortunately, I have yet to see anything in black in white (because that is what it would take for him to understand), that states that step-parents don't have rights.

Again, I truly appreciate everyone's advice.

 

[tiggerrick]

I feel for you, and more for your daughter. Even if she is not part of any legal action, the step parent does influence your daughter every minute they spend together (for better or worse.) Also, any 'affairs' you address with your ex regarding your daughter, will have some direct or indirect effect on the step parent. Her actions of calling your job is TOTALLY out of line. Now, you may want to decide to be the bigger person and 'let it go' if it has not negatively affected your work AND she stops. Remember, she is part of your daughter's family, and by extension yours.
Perhaps you could tell her that you are willing to 'hear her out' on any issues she brings up. Your answer could always be something like "I'll look into that" or "let me think a little about that issue" and then act, or not, whatever is appropriate. You know that she brings them up with your ex as well, so even if YOU shut her out, your ex won't. Filing against her MAY make things uncomfortable for your daughter, but I also wouldn't stand for repeated offenses like these.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for the advice, Cali. I have also not responded to text messages, allow her calls to go to voice mails (which I save) and have saved every email since 2004. The only response I gave her, was a couple of weeks ago, when I kindly (but adamantly) told her to allow my ex husband and I to resolve issues regarding OUR daughter, reminding her I did not have to communicate with her (since she is not party to our order), and asking her to stop contacting me in any way, shape or form. In her response I received from the one email I sent her, is where she stated that she was my daughter's LEGAL stepmother. She assumes since she is married to my ex, that she has some type of legal relationship or entitlement to be invovled. I wish there was someplace I could point my ex to show him that she doesn't have rights. Unfortunately, I have yet to see anything in black in white (because that is what it would take for him to understand), that states that step-parents don't have rights.

Again, I truly appreciate everyone's advice.

IF steps had rights there would be something to find in black and white. The fact that there isn't statutes defining their "rights" is the key!! There is plenty of case law of over-involved steps being the cause of loss of custody and visitation though....
I think there was even a Judge Judy that had a case of civil fines for a step mother filing false CPS complaints....

 

[kik1999]

IF steps had rights there would be something to find in black and white. The fact that there isn't statutes defining their "rights" is the key!! There is plenty of case law of over-involved steps being the cause of loss of custody and visitation though....
I think there was even a Judge Judy that had a case of civil fines for a step mother filing false CPS complaints....

Well maybe I will point that out to him the next time he brings up the fact that she does have rights. I'll tell him to show me where in the law it states she does. She thinks her marriage license apparently gives her rights to my daughter.

Thanks for pointing that out Bay!!!