Pre-school

[jaf72]

What is the name of your state? MA

Hi~ I have a question regarding pre-school. My fiance asked his ex what her plans were regarding pre-school for their son in the fall. Their son is 4, and won't be 5 for the kindergarten cut-off, so my fiance wants him to go to pre-school. He is a shy kid, and would likely benefit from the social interaction, nevermind that pre-schools actually do educate. She has physical custody, he has visitation, and they share legal custody. It states in their decree that they are to share in and agree on major decisions regarding their son. Well, she told my fiance today she isn't sending him to preschool in the fall (most likely because she doesn't know yet where she will be living) and that kids don't have to go to preschool. My fiance strongly disagrees and wants his son to have every oppurtunity. He is afraid that come kindergarten, his son will be behind socially and academically. I know we are talking ABC's and 123's, but it is my understanding that pre-school is encouraged amoung educators. Is there any legal way to require her to send him? Thanks in advance for any advice/input.

 

[Zephyr]

he could request mediation so that he and his ex could sit down and hash this out.

 

[jaf72]

thanks...

I had thought of that... my ex and I have a mediation clause in our decree, but my fiance doesn't. I don't think she will go for it... she just assumes she can make these decisions because their son lives with her primarily. Can you MAKE someone go to mediation?

 

[FrustratedMommy]

I dont know honestly.

I am a mother of 5 NCM to 1 of those, and they all have or will attend pre school. I think its very beneficial to them honestly. I can teach them all the ABC's and 123's without a problem, however the new "no child left behind" acts are bumping up what the children need to learn, in which grade and at what ages. (Just had this conversation recently with my sons Pre K teacher!)

Kindergarden when I was in school was ABC's, 123's, colors, shapes, how to tie shoes. Now they need to know that BEFORE kindergarden.

Perhaps call the schools and get in writing something showing what the child will need to know for kindergarden? If she see's exactly what he is going to need to know/do for himself by then, she may change her mind.

I wish you luck with this.

 

[stealth2]

A judge could order them to mediation. But a judge cannot order her to reach an agreement in mediation. No one can tell you whether a judge would order the child to attend preschool, but I frankly doubt it - if it's not required by the state, a judge is unlikely to force the issue.

Has Dad offered to either split the cost or pay for it himself?

 

[jaf72]

Yes, he did offer to pay half, then all. The town we live in has a great school system, and the pre-school is subsidised so it is extremely affordable. ($500/ year for two days a week) He also offered to work visitation around the school nights so his son could stay at our house and she wouldn't have to worry about getting him to and from school. My fiance has a rotating schedule, and he would be able to do this. He really believes that this IS in his son's best interest. His son has never been away from a primary caregiver and is shy. He could benefit from a little social interaction two days a week before he goes to kindergarten five days a week. I guess the challenge is convincing his mom that this is in his best interest. Thanks for the input.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes, he did offer to pay half, then all. The town we live in has a great school system, and the pre-school is subsidised so it is extremely affordable. ($500/ year for two days a week) He also offered to work visitation around the school nights so his son could stay at our house and she wouldn't have to worry about getting him to and from school. My fiance has a rotating schedule, and he would be able to do this. He really believes that this IS in his son's best interest. His son has never been away from a primary caregiver and is shy. He could benefit from a little social interaction two days a week before he goes to kindergarten five days a week. I guess the challenge is convincing his mom that this is in his best interest. Thanks for the input.

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I suspect that mom is misinterpreting his motives. It would be easy for mom to assume that because he is attempting to arrange for the child to attend preschool in HIS town, that he is "back door" attempting to manipulate things in order to put him in the best position for primary custody once the child starts KG.

He would probably get better results if he researches a recommend a preschool in MOM's town.