Pregnant/unmarried. Can I move&deliver in other state w/out notice to paternal parent

[legalcuriosity]

Wow, do I smell hypocrisy.

So, you want to intentionallymove from California to Texas!??! -- thousands of miles away.

Then you "feel" joint custody should be 50/50. So, how in the hell would that be possible?

Oh, and you "want" physical custody and "he can see her on an agreed schedule".

Is that so?

Just to let you know -- this guy can make it very, very difficult for you and could petition for full custody. After all, the child is to go to the better parent -- especially if you had to move to support it.

Your actions are hypocritical (although legal). I'll bet you won't hesistate filing for child support as soon as the child is born and holding HIM financially responsible -- even though you're making it almost impossible for the dad to establish a life with the child.

You are intentionally moving far away. You are intentionally withholding not telling him of what you plan to do. This is HIS child as well, it's not just yours. Maybe you should act like an adult and discuss this with him to see what his plans are because I am sure you won't hesistant marching down to the child support office to make sure he's financially responsible. Meanwhile, you're being irresponsible.

Quite frankly, I am surprised NO ONE even mentioned that!

If this was a guy asking how he could get away, he'd be getting flamed. That is a fact.

 

[Gracie3787]

If this was a guy asking how he could get away, he'd be getting flamed. That is a fact.

Thank you, that was exactly the point of my last post- double standards.
Gracie

 

[LdiJ]

Wow, do I smell hypocrisy.

So, you want to intentionallymove from California to Texas!??! -- thousands of miles away.

Then you "feel" joint custody should be 50/50. So, how in the hell would that be possible?

Oh, and you "want" physical custody and "he can see her on an agreed schedule".

Is that so?

Just to let you know -- this guy can make it very, very difficult for you and could petition for full custody. After all, the child is to go to the better parent -- especially if you had to move to support it.

Your actions are hypocritical (although legal). I'll bet you won't hesistate filing for child support as soon as the child is born and holding HIM financially responsible -- even though you're making it almost impossible for the dad to establish a life with the child.

You are intentionally moving far away. You are intentionally withholding not telling him of what you plan to do. This is HIS child as well, it's not just yours. Maybe you should act like an adult and discuss this with him to see what his plans are because I am sure you won't hesistant marching down to the child support office to make sure he's financially responsible. Meanwhile, you're being irresponsible.

Quite frankly, I am surprised NO ONE even mentioned that!

If this was a guy asking how he could get away, he'd be getting flamed. That is a fact.

LC....from a legal standpoint your comments aren't accurate.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you, that was exactly the point of my last post- double standards.
Gracie

Well...I for one wouldn't flame the guy...and I doubt that Stealth would either. Both of us would be likely to tell him that he was perfectly free to move. We might point out the difficulties of visitation in that scenario...but I doubt either one of us would flame him.

Mom isn't considering this move to keep the child away from dad...she is considering this move because she can't afford to live in CA. Since we ALL know how darned expensive it is to live in CA...I for one can't fault her on that.

 

[legalcuriosity]

LC....from a legal standpoint your comments aren't accurate.

I am well aware of that. If you noticed, I did make a comment making note that what all of you was legal.

I was pointing out the hypocrisy of the OP and some of the suggestions. California to Texas? You mean to tell me that there aren't more inexpensive places between those two locations? If someone says "no", I'll call "BS." Maybe dad should get the child.

(edit) - As I noted, no one suggested talking to him first -- especially if the OP is afraid of a possible nasty custody battle that could ensue. And it won't be cheap for anyone involved.

And I wasn't implying you or Stealth would be jumping on the guy...I know you two wouldn't. But you can't deny there would be others who'd crawl out of the wood work.

 

[secretspecial]

Pregnant/unmarried. Can I move&deliver in other state w/out notice to paternal parent

I'm including my original post. Please read with EDITS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Reside in California & want to move to Texas

The father of the baby & I are not together. We were never married and never lived together. I cannot afford to stay in CA with the additional expense of another child. MY FIRST CHILD'S FATHER IS DECEASED. THERE IS NO ISSUE HERE, SO PLEASE DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. I can comfortably afford to move out of state and raise my daughter. I want her to have a relationship w/her father, but am concerned about how moving out of state will affect us legally. Can he legally stop me? Can he, through the courts, force me and/or our daughter to come back to CA? I feel legal custody should be 50/50, I SAID LEGAL CUSTODY (NOT JOINT CUSTODY) but I want physical custody, and he can see her on an agreed schedule throughout the year. AN AGREED SCHEDULE WOULD BE "AGREED" TO -- THAT MEANS BETWEEN BOTH PARENTS.

He does not know I'm considering moving and I have decided not to tell him until after the move (within the next 5-6 months). I plan to relocate before I deliver this child. WE ARE NOT MARRIED, NOR HAVE WE EVER LIVED TOGETHER. WE LIVE SEPARATE "S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E" LIVES. I PLAN TO RELOCATE TO AN AFFORDABLE AREA TO BE ABLE TO RAISE THIS CHILD AND LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS. He will be furious and seek legal action. Will California or Texas have jurisdiction over the dispute, and what can I expect to happen, legally, as far as a custody dispute goes?

I FEEL MY QUESTIONS WERE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHT FORWARD. THIS IS AN ADVICE FORUM. NOT A "MAKE ASSUMPTIONS AND ACCUSATIONS" BOARD. C'MON PEOPLE. WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO VENT ON EACH OTHER, JUST PROVIDE HONEST, FAIR ADVICE.

NOW THAT I'VE CLARIFIED INFORMATION IN CERTAIN REPLIES, I'M ASKING AGAIN FOR ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU.

 

[RLS05]

a little advice

Hello, I think if you leave and are not gone for the amount of time(6 months) to establish jurisdiction over in texas and even if the baby is born in texas the father can file here in california the child having been conceived in california( basis for jurisdiction)but if your there in texas before the birth, have been there long enough to establish jurisdiction then your in good standing for physical custody/shared legal. i am glad you see he has the rights, same as you, but also prior to the childs birth he should get a courtesy phone call ( manners )so he can be there for the child/you at that time. it is his responsibility even now for prenatal care same as yours, as well he may have interest to participate/know the well being of the child during your pregnancy of. Its your judgement call in my eyes. if you feel it best for all concerned and a good move( 5 or 10 yr plan to live there in texas kind of thing not just temporary like maybe 1 year or so to live there in texas then move again etc..) i hope you find yourself in the best possible situation down the road and the dad also between the two of you great communication so your child can benefit from two great relationships while growing up. If i wanted that uncontested upperhand/control from the start i would go to texas right now so there would be no question about jurisdiction. with a clear conscience is something else though, but i believe the freedom is there to move to texas. sooner the better.

 

[LdiJ]

Hello, I think if you leave and are not gone for the amount of time(6 months) to establish jurisdiction over in texas and even if the baby is born in texas the father can file here in california the child having been conceived in california( basis for jurisdiction)but if your there in texas before the birth, have been there long enough to establish jurisdiction then your in good standing for physical custody/shared legal. i am glad you see he has the rights, same as you, but also prior to the childs birth he should get a courtesy phone call ( manners )so he can be there for the child/you at that time. it is his responsibility even now for prenatal care same as yours, as well he may have interest to participate/know the well being of the child during your pregnancy of. Its your judgement call in my eyes. if you feel it best for all concerned and a good move( 5 or 10 yr plan to live there in texas kind of thing not just temporary like maybe 1 year or so to live there in texas then move again etc..) i hope you find yourself in the best possible situation down the road and the dad also between the two of you great communication so your child can benefit from two great relationships while growing up. If i wanted that uncontested upperhand/control from the start i would go to texas right now so there would be no question about jurisdiction. with a clear conscience is something else though, but i believe the freedom is there to move to texas. sooner the better.

You are not correct about jurisdiction. The child would be a legal resident of the state where the child was born. Therefore that state would have jurisdiction. I have seen some cases where attempts have been made to claim jurisdiction for the state of the child's conception...but few of those cases have succeeded, and I can find no case law that supports that position.

However I agree that moving sooner, rather than later is the wise things to do. First, its healthier for the pregnancy...and second, it firmly establishes OP's residency in TX.

Quite frankly...I waffle on the issue of whether or not she should inform the putative father prior to her move. Again, this is based on the health and safety of the pregnancy. If dad is likely to fly off the handle regarding this....then its safer for there to be distance between them when he is informed.

 

[dwdragon]

Ok I'm fairly new here but I would like to say a couple things.

The legal advice has already been given. Yes, before the child is born it is perfectly legal.

Now for the replies to the people who seem to be pointing the finger without knowing all the facts. I've been reading these boards for less than 4 months now and have only recently posts. Far more than necessary people seem to want to jump to conclusions and ride up the backside of the poster looking for help.

I don't think in any situation that anyone here can know the full extent of the circumstances without the poster leaving a 30 page background and situation report.

Take this post for instance.... the poster said the father might be very angry. She is willing to give 50% LEGAL custody and agreed visitations. Now I don't mean this derogatory and I'm not saying it applies but there are many women in the US that day after day have children by physically abusive men and still want the father to be a part of the child's life. In just about every post I've read where a woman seems to seperate the father and child even a little or visa versa someone pops up and says "BUT THEY HAVE A RIGHT TOO!" It sickens me that people automatically assume a poster would put if the person is abusive.

I think the best thing said here outside the actual legal advice is to keep the advice and posts to being exactly that... LEGAL ADVICE.

 

[krazie_pando]

Hey I was wondering if any of ya'll had advice on my post?

 

[betterthanher]

So why in the heck did we bring this 3 AND A HALF MONTH OLD thread back to life??

 

[dwdragon]

LOL I didn't even realize it was that old but in retrospect if someone else comes to these forums even in another 3 months and does a search for information regarding a similar situation there is a chance they may read it and who knows maybe they'll even gain a little information from newer posts.

 

[betterthanher]

LOL I didn't even realize it was that old but in retrospect if someone else comes to these forums even in another 3 months and does a search for information regarding a similar situation there is a chance they may read it and who knows maybe they'll even gain a little information from newer posts.

Key word is "search". It doesn't need to be brought back to life.

 

[dwdragon]

Key word is "search". It doesn't need to be brought back to life.

Note the line "they may gain a little information from newer posts". I think I'm gonna make a new signature something to the effect that "Tunnel vision leads to the train broadsiding you."

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Ok I'm fairly new here but I would like to say a couple things.Great, to bad you could not have done it when this post was actually active.


The legal advice has already been given. Yes, before the child is born it is perfectly legal.

Now for the replies to the people who seem to be pointing the finger without knowing all the facts. I've been reading these boards for less than 4 months now and have only recently posts. Far more than necessary people seem to want to jump to conclusions and ride up the backside of the poster looking for help.

Sorry, I am confused. "Ride up the Backside of the Poster, ?looking for Help"


I don't think in any situation that anyone here can know the full extent of the circumstances without the poster leaving a 30 page background and situation report.

This site is called.."FREE LEGAL ADVICE". Who are you and I to decide that the poster needs to leave a 30 page background check to use this forum?

It is a public forum. People post, people answer. If you are so anal, that you needed to respond to such an old thread, WHY NOT GET YOUR OWN FORUM, WITH YOUR VERY OWN RULES?


Take this post for instance.... the poster said the father might be very angry. She is willing to give 50% LEGAL custody and agreed visitations. Now I don't mean this derogatory and I'm not saying it applies but there are many women in the US that day after day have children by physically abusive men and still want the father to be a part of the child's life. In just about every post I've read where a woman seems to seperate the father and child even a little or visa versa someone pops up and says "BUT THEY HAVE A RIGHT TOO!" It sickens me that people automatically assume a poster would put if the person is abusive. Did you get a thirty page incident report, before YOU made this reply?


I think the best thing said here outside the actual legal advice is to keep the advice and posts to being exactly that... LEGAL ADVICE.

Well, you certainly failed at your own idea. You have no authority on how this forum is run, and you are posting to month old threads.

In fact, Not only did you respond to a very old post,..............YOU ARE NOT EVEN GIVING LEGAL ADVICE ON THIS THREAD.