Question about Child Support and how it's delivered

[georgia_girl328]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

My ex husband and I have been divorced for three years. He is Active Duty Military and was a Senior Airman when we divorced. Since then, he has been promoted to Staff Sergeant. When we divorced he was after me to get my own checking account so that the funds could be directly deposited. I did that and since then he has refused to direct deposit the funds into my account. It's been two years. My income is less than it was when we divorced so this leads me to my two questions:

1. If I get my child support reevaluated, will it go up?

2. Is there any way to get it added into my papers so that the money will be direct deposited into my account?

Thanks so much in advance for your advice.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

My ex husband and I have been divorced for three years. He is Active Duty Military and was a Senior Airman when we divorced. Since then, he has been promoted to Staff Sergeant. When we divorced he was after me to get my own checking account so that the funds could be directly deposited. I did that and since then he has refused to direct deposit the funds into my account. It's been two years. My income is less than it was when we divorced so this leads me to my two questions:

1. If I get my child support reevaluated, will it go up?

2. Is there any way to get it added into my papers so that the money will be direct deposited into my account?

Thanks so much in advance for your advice.

How is he paying you?

 

[stealth2]

1. Maybe.
2. Maybe.

To get a definitive answer, you'd need to file and see what the court decides.

 

[georgia_girl328]

How is he paying you?

With a check twice a month. We have visitation set up in the papers (which he rarely keeps) but he says he won't set up direct deposit because of the off chance he can see our daughter for a few extra minutes each time.

 

[Zigner]

With a check twice a month. We have visitation set up in the papers (which he rarely keeps) but he says he won't set up direct deposit because of the off chance he can see our daughter for a few extra minutes each time.

I'm not sure that I see the problem here...oh, except that DAD might get to see his kid for a minute or two more, right?

 

[georgia_girl328]

I'm not sure that I see the problem here...oh, except that DAD might get to see his kid for a minute or two more, right?

Wear and tear on my car, extra gas used. He doesn't even get her for the full time that he's supposed to because he's too tired from work. Excuse me if I don't seem too eager to cater to him when he isn't even fulfilling his entire visitation. It's a control issue, hence the reason I divorced him. Mental abuse and spousal maltreatment is on his military record.

 

[Proserpina]

With a check twice a month. We have visitation set up in the papers (which he rarely keeps) but he says he won't set up direct deposit because of the off chance he can see our daughter for a few extra minutes each time.

So let me make sure I'm getting this right. He pays the amount he should, and pays it regularly. It's just the delivery method you want to change.

If that's right, I want you to consider something. You say this is all about him wanting control, right? So, say you take it to court. One of two things will happen:

1. You get your derriere handed to you by a judge who thinks you're petty to the point that you're going to be paying Dad's legal costs for taking it to court in the first place or,

2. You get your way and Dad has to pay by deposit which is no skin off his nose anyway.

But this is the reality: He wins the control game NO MATTER WHAT.

Y'see, if you keep things going as you are - he wins the game in his mind. If you go back to court, no matter what happens he wins the control game even moreso because he's forced you to become so rattled that you want the court to babysit your money management.

Do you see what I'm saying here?

Take the checks, smile sweetly and drive away to go on with your business.

Really.

 

[Proserpina]

Wear and tear on my car, extra gas used. He doesn't even get her for the full time that he's supposed to because he's too tired from work. Excuse me if I don't seem too eager to cater to him when he isn't even fulfilling his entire visitation. It's a control issue, hence the reason I divorced him. Mental abuse and spousal maltreatment is on his military record.

Let me guess - noted, but never convicted of anything right?

 

[stealth2]

Wear and tear on my car, extra gas used. He doesn't even get her for the full time that he's supposed to because he's too tired from work. Excuse me if I don't seem too eager to cater to him when he isn't even fulfilling his entire visitation. It's a control issue, hence the reason I divorced him. Mental abuse and spousal maltreatment is on his military record.

You're going t have many years of high blood pressure if you let this stress you. Not worth it. Really.

 

[Proserpina]

Mom, what happened when you and your fiance wanted to move out of state?

 

[georgia_girl328]

Mom, what happened when you and your fiance wanted to move out of state?

We didn't because he got a better job here, I got into school full time and started working.

And you guys are right. As much as I want to type out a scathing retort to everyone here, you're right. It's too petty to take to a lawyer. I'll take my checks when I can get them and hope he grows up in the meantime like I'm trying to do. Although, I have considered having support re-evaluated since he has put on rank but I go back and forth about that. I don't know if I should or not.

 

[LdiJ]

We didn't because he got a better job here, I got into school full time and started working.

And you guys are right. As much as I want to type out a scathing retort to everyone here, you're right. It's too petty to take to a lawyer. I'll take my checks when I can get them and hope he grows up in the meantime like I'm trying to do. Although, I have considered having support re-evaluated since he has put on rank but I go back and forth about that. I don't know if I should or not.

The norm when the paying parent is in the military is that the child support is garnished from their pay and sent directly by the government to either the state controlling CS agency or directly to the receiving parent. Its really quite unusual for a military parent to be able to pay directly. I suspect that is why he wanted you to get a bank account, so that the military could direct deposit the child support there. I am rather surprised that did not go through.

 

[georgia_girl328]

The norm when the paying parent is in the military is that the child support is garnished from their pay and sent directly by the government to either the state controlling CS agency or directly to the receiving parent. Its really quite unusual for a military parent to be able to pay directly. I suspect that is why he wanted you to get a bank account, so that the military could direct deposit the child support there. I am rather surprised that did not go through.

It doesn't specifically say in the papers that he HAS to have it direct deposited. It just says he has to give me X amount on the 1st and 15th of every month. He says the only way he'll do direct deposit is if he has to PCS (transfer to another base) or if he deploys. He says it's simpler. He doesn't want them taking it out of his paycheck because they'll take it all out at the first of the month. I don't know why he won't have his bank do it. He told me to get a bank account so he COULD do it and then once I have one he changed his mind.

I mean I know I'm lucky to actually receive child support, so many women don't so I guess I can't complain too much, I just felt it would be easier.

 

[lifechanges]

I'm wondering if you could offer him two alternatives:

1- he mails you the check so you dont' have to drive to get it (that seems wasteful on both parts)
2- he puts money into your account via bill pay or just walking up to your branch.

Direct deposit, true maybe he can't afford the full amount in one bulk- either way, unless he is behind you won't get much traction.

I would NOT go out of my way to meet him to get the check. As to taking it to court, hmmm, might be a big waste of time and money.

I would give him those options and then if he refuses, consider pursuing further.

You have to be prepared to receiving the CS late though...but it may be worth it.

Other alternative is he gives you the checks on visitation weekends?

 

[rooms222]

Since he is active duty, he is eligible for USAA and its free banking services. The bill pay service for them will mail you the check for no cost to him. At the present time, funds are not deducted from his account until the check clears the bank (some bill pays take the money out the day the payment is supposed to arrive). He will have proof that he paid you as cancelled check copies are available online directly from his online access. He will also have proof that the payment was mailed by an independent third-party ahead of time to arrive on the scheduled day. I used them when I was direct paying interim child support and it worked very well.