Question About Military Service Divorce PW

[Kooth]

What is the name of your state? Utah
I was married a year Nov. 10, 2006. One month before I retired from the army, and was separated by Oct 07. My wife told me to take care of the divorce paperwork online. If I make her the petitioner (like she wants) there is additional paperwork asking about my military service. That makes me nervous. I know it has something with the Servicemans Civil Relief Act. Not sure what that is. She is not entitled to any of my retirement or other benefits. She also refuses to sign the paperwork until it says exactly what she wants it to, which as I understand, I have to file the paperwork with the court before she signs it anyway. If she disputes anything, and refuses to sign, she wold have to hire an attorney to get it changed. I put in the paperwork that there were irreconcilable differences and that marriage counseling and a separation were unsuccessful at working through deep-seated issues brought into the marriage by both parties.
Her response was that she didn't bring any deep-seated issues into the relationship, just me, and wants the paperwork to state that. Everybody with a pulse brings unresolved issues into a relationship.


Back to the military issue. Why do "they" need to know anything about my military service? Does it matter who is the plantiff? If She continues to dispute the generic issues (which I know she will) what are possible ramifications?What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Utah
I was married a year Nov. 10, 2006. One month before I retired from the army, and was separated by Oct 07. My wife told me to take care of the divorce paperwork online. If I make her the petitioner (like she wants) there is additional paperwork asking about my military service. That makes me nervous. I know it has something with the Servicemans Civil Relief Act. Not sure what that is. She is not entitled to any of my retirement or other benefits. She also refuses to sign the paperwork until it says exactly what she wants it to, which as I understand, I have to file the paperwork with the court before she signs it anyway. If she disputes anything, and refuses to sign, she wold have to hire an attorney to get it changed. I put in the paperwork that there were irreconcilable differences and that marriage counseling and a separation were unsuccessful at working through deep-seated issues brought into the marriage by both parties.
Her response was that she didn't bring any deep-seated issues into the relationship, just me, and wants the paperwork to state that. Everybody with a pulse brings unresolved issues into a relationship.


Back to the military issue. Why do "they" need to know anything about my military service? Does it matter who is the plantiff? If She continues to dispute the generic issues (which I know she will) what are possible ramifications?What is the name of your state?

You cannot submit the paperwork to the court if she is the petitioner, only she can.

 

[Kooth]

Question about military service divorce pw

Thanks, that's what I thought!

 

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? Utah
1. My wife told me to take care of the divorce paperwork online.
2. She also refuses to sign the paperwork until it says exactly what she wants it to,
3. Her response was that she didn't bring any deep-seated issues into the relationship, just me, and wants the paperwork to state that

Kooth? Do you see a trend here? Doesn't appear to me that this is going to "end" in an amicable manner or that your interests are going to be protected.

How about instead of following orders to suit her, you suit yourself? Complete the paperwork as you see fit, name yourself the petitioner and have her served. If she doesn't like it - well then I guess she can go on-line and figure out how to counterfile.

If anything, in the future, instead of telling you what to do, she will be more likely to take responsibility for herself.

 

[Silverplum]

Kooth? Do you see a trend here? Doesn't appear to me that this is going to "end" in an amicable manner or that your interests are going to be protected.

How about instead of following orders to suit her, you suit yourself? Complete the paperwork as you see fit, name yourself the petitioner and have her served. If she doesn't like it - well then I guess she can go on-line and figure out how to counterfile.

If anything, in the future, instead of telling you what to do, she will be more likely to take responsibility for herself.

100% seconded.
I wish I could go over 100%, but that's illogical.

 

[Kooth]

Thanks for the advice. I planned on filing the way I see fit. I did decide to change the reason to something "less clinical" and more generic. I guess I'm trying to anticipate her next move before she makes it. Also I'm hoping she doesn't hire an attorney since neither one of us can afford it. It makes me sad because she's a good woman. She's a survivor of sexual abuse, and has never had any counseling to deal with it. Anyway, thanks again!

 

[fyrered]

What is the name of your state? Utah
I was married a year Nov. 10, 2006. One month before I retired from the army, and was separated by Oct 07. My wife told me to take care of the divorce paperwork online. If I make her the petitioner (like she wants) there is additional paperwork asking about my military service. That makes me nervous. I know it has something with the Servicemans Civil Relief Act. Not sure what that is. She is not entitled to any of my retirement or other benefits. She also refuses to sign the paperwork until it says exactly what she wants it to, which as I understand, I have to file the paperwork with the court before she signs it anyway. If she disputes anything, and refuses to sign, she wold have to hire an attorney to get it changed. I put in the paperwork that there were irreconcilable differences and that marriage counseling and a separation were unsuccessful at working through deep-seated issues brought into the marriage by both parties.
Her response was that she didn't bring any deep-seated issues into the relationship, just me, and wants the paperwork to state that. Everybody with a pulse brings unresolved issues into a relationship.


Back to the military issue. Why do "they" need to know anything about my military service? Does it matter who is the plantiff? If She continues to dispute the generic issues (which I know she will) what are possible ramifications?What is the name of your state?

First of all I personally would not do a divorce online. 2, I would assume that she want's to be the petitioner because she want's to make it look like she is leaving you some woman are like that. 3, just state if you insist filing on line citing irreconcilable differences nothing more. 4,Then state there will be no chance of reconciling. I recommend you file your divorce through a attorney most attorneys can do a uncontested divorce for about $500.00 to a $1000.00. A contested divorce can run you $1,500.00 to 3,000.00 but you would have a peice of mind it is being done properly. The question is how bad do you want to get away from this woman and how fast do you want to move on? If you got time then let a attorney do it. Especially seen how she want's military information. If you have a child then definately let a lawyer handle this ,not a online divorce systym.

 

[tuffbrk]

The cost of a contested divorce varies widely depending upon the issues being contested, the speed with which you can get on the court's calendar, whether or not interim motions are filed, etc.

Please be certain you research for correct legal information before posting answers, as opposed to basing responses on 1) your experiences or 2) your state averages.

This will help make forum searches more productive for all. Thanks.