Recent threads about CP dying have me worried

[escape2paradise]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

Many of you know my situation by now. Short Recap:

I was awarded sole custody of my daughter last June. Dad could have supervised visits if he would take and pass a drug test, but has yet to do so. He could work up from supervised if he get the mental and drug help he needs, but again has yet to do so.

My question is, if I die tomorrow would dad be entitled to custody of our daughter? Does my husband have standing as a De Facto parent? As I understand it WA does recognize de facto parents based on the following criteria:

"(1) the natural or legal parent consented to and fostered the parent-like relationship,
(2) the petitioner and the child lived together in the same household,
(3) the petitioner assumed obligations of parenthood without expectation of financial compensation, and
(4) the petitioner has been in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to have established with the child a bonded, dependent relationship, parental in nature. ...

My husband has satisfied all of the above criteria.

 

[escape2paradise]

My husband and I have life insurance put in place just specifically for use in a custody paper if he should pass before his son turns 18.

I would be filing emergency temporary full custody. I have at least 10 thousand plus (possibly 20) prepared for a court battle. It would be done the very next morning.

That's what we have put in place.

I do have a decent size insurance policy as well. My husband and I have discussed the same plan. I'm just concerned because of all the recent threads regarding this very issue. The general consensus seems to be that the parent left behind automatically gets custody. I'm just wondering is that true 100% of the time no matter what issues the court is aware of with that parent.

 

[futuredust]

I have read you can set up a standby guardianship for your children. I am not certain how this works, but would be worth looking into and having in place.

From Google I found this: http://standbyguardianship.org/pdf/AIA-SBGFactSheet.pdf
http://standbyguardianship.org[/url

 

[wileybunch]

I do have a decent size insurance policy as well. My husband and I have discussed the same plan. I'm just concerned because of all the recent threads regarding this very issue. The general consensus seems to be that the parent left behind automatically gets custody. I'm just wondering is that true 100% of the time no matter what issues the court is aware of with that parent.

Barring something saying otherwise, the surviving parent DOES automatically have custody because they always already did, they may have just not had PRIMARY custody.

But, your ex has "something saying otherwise", his rights have been restricted due to drug use so a battle could be forged by s-dad with regard to that. The thing is, someone would NEED to forge that battle since obviously it wouldn't happen on its own and like with the example here, moving quickly and with solid information and evidence was key.

 

[escape2paradise]

Barring something saying otherwise, the surviving parent DOES automatically have custody because they always already did, they may have just not had PRIMARY custody.

But, your ex has "something saying otherwise", his rights have been restricted due to drug use so a battle could be forged by s-dad with regard to that. The thing is, someone would NEED to forge that battle since obviously it wouldn't happen on its own and like with the example here, moving quickly and with solid information and evidence was key.

Sorry, I guess I didn't make myself clear. I understand that the NCP automatically has custody and that a suit needs to be filed. I just wanted to be clear on wether or not the issues the X has would be taken into consideration by the court when deciding who raises my daughter if I am gone.

It seems the standard answer for my husband trying to retain custody is "No Way", he has no standing. I just wanted some clarification since I believe he does have standing as a de facto parent, at least in the state of WA.

 

[LdiJ]

Barring something saying otherwise, the surviving parent DOES automatically have custody because they always already did, they may have just not had PRIMARY custody.

But, your ex has "something saying otherwise", his rights have been restricted due to drug use so a battle could be forged by s-dad with regard to that. The thing is, someone would NEED to forge that battle since obviously it wouldn't happen on its own and like with the example here, moving quickly and with solid information and evidence was key.

One thing to keep in mind, is that grandparents are normally in a stronger position to get custody than stepparents. Therefore your parents might be more successful than your husband.

 

[wileybunch]

One thing to keep in mind, is that grandparents are normally in a stronger position to get custody than stepparents. Therefore your parents might be more successful than your husband.

Excellent point.

 

[escape2paradise]

One thing to keep in mind, is that grandparents are normally in a stronger position to get custody than stepparents. Therefore your parents might be more successful than your husband.

Is that true even given the de facto parent status? I just seems ridiculous to me that my parents would have a better position than my husband who has been with me and DD since she was 1.5 yrs old. He has lived in the same home and would still be in the same home raising her two younger brothers. With my husband, ,my daughter would be able to stay home and attend the same school. Living with either set of Grandparents she would not be at the same school and she would be away from her siblings.

 

[Silverplum]

Is that true even given the de facto parent status? I just seems ridiculous to me that my parents would have a better position than my husband who has been with me and DD since she was 1.5 yrs old. He has lived in the same home and would still be in the same home raising her two younger brothers. With my husband, ,my daughter would be able to stay home and attend the same school. Living with either set of Grandparents she would not be at the same school and she would be away from her siblings.

Stepdad is still a legal stranger. Even if.

Grandparents are, at least, blood relatives.

All you can do is prepare the best you can and then live your life. At least you live in a state that does recognize de facto parent status.

 

[escape2paradise]

Stepdad is still a legal stranger. Even if.

Grandparents are, at least, blood relatives.

All you can do is prepare the best you can and then live your life. At least you live in a state that does recognize de facto parent status.

Yes, I guess they will all just have to figure it out if something happens. DD is 15 now so only a few more years to worry about this one.

 

[escape2paradise]

What about the stepparent and the grandparents going after custody together.


I know when our family first got little brother (non blood relatives) my inlaws and sister n laws both had custody.

I was wondering about that as well.

 

[frylover]

Grandparents are, at least, blood relatives.

God, in my mind's eye I can see my MIL sanctimonioulsy nodding her head at this.

 

[LdiJ]

Is that true even given the de facto parent status? I just seems ridiculous to me that my parents would have a better position than my husband who has been with me and DD since she was 1.5 yrs old. He has lived in the same home and would still be in the same home raising her two younger brothers. With my husband, ,my daughter would be able to stay home and attend the same school. Living with either set of Grandparents she would not be at the same school and she would be away from her siblings.

Your parents have a relationship that is legally recognized. Your husband does not. If both sets of grandparents defered to him that is one thing, if either set of grandparents challenged him it would be another (assuming that dad had no chance of custody)

Your daughter's wishes would factor in to some extent, but either set of grandparents would have stronger standing than your husband, and so would aunts or uncles.

 

[Isis1]

given that dad in this case is not abiding by court orders, therefore is technically abandoning his daughter, sometime in the near future is a contested adoption even a suggestion? if daughter wants it?

 

[summerdawn]

I have to say, these threads about CP dying have been giving me the creeps too.