Relocation Question

[l_x]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am in the military and is stationed in the same town where my son is living with the mother. I chose to be stationed on that town so I can be near my son. I am deploy-able and my next deployment is next year for 6 months. The mother talked to me briefly about moving out of state. I told her I disagreed but she say she can move with no problem because I am in the military and is deploy-able. Can she move being that I am in the military? I will be at that station for the next four years.

 

[ecmst12]

You are being deployed for (at least) half of next year and so are not able to assume primary custody of the child. Mom can move wherever she likes and the only real defense you would have would be to ask for the child to remain with you after she moves. But since you can't ask for that due to your military status, you don't have any real way to stop her from moving. After you are out of the service, you might have a better chance if she tries this again, but you chose to have a job where you have to go away for months (or even years) at a time to a place where you couldn't take the child even if you wanted to, and Uncle Sam sadly doesn't give a crap about your family.

 

[mistoffolees]

You are being deployed for (at least) half of next year and so are not able to assume primary custody of the child. Mom can move wherever she likes and the only real defense you would have would be to ask for the child to remain with you after she moves. But since you can't ask for that due to your military status, you don't have any real way to stop her from moving. After you are out of the service, you might have a better chance if she tries this again, but you chose to have a job where you have to go away for months (or even years) at a time to a place where you couldn't take the child even if you wanted to, and Uncle Sam sadly doesn't give a crap about your family.

I'm not sure it's that simple. As of today, Dad is in CA and has no immediate plans to leave CA. Deployable is not the same as deployed.

He could ask for custody on the basis of Mom trying to leave the state - and just might get it. The court doesn't have a crystal ball and doesn't like determining things on the basis of "might happen". They're more concerned with how things are today.

 

[stealth2]

Except he states that he IS deploying next year for 6 mos.

 

[ecmst12]

And that will just mean that kiddo will have to move in the middle of the year next year, totally disrupting his school and making the extra 6 months he gets to spend in the area totally pointless since he'll have to go with mom eventually anyway. And who knows what could happen while OP is deployed - his tour could get extended, or heaven forbid he might not come back at all.

 

[stealth2]

Or Mommy could pull up her big-girl panties and learn how to live where she is now.

 

[acmb05]

Except he states that he IS deploying next year for 6 mos.

Having been in the military I can tell you things could very easily change by next year. For that matter OP could be deployed next month. You just never know with the military.

 

[stealth2]

Very true.

I guess I'd want to know WHY Mom wants to move. Although I can guess.

 

[acmb05]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am in the military and is stationed in the same town where my son is living with the mother. I chose to be stationed on that town so I can be near my son. I am deploy-able and my next deployment is next year for 6 months. The mother talked to me briefly about moving out of state. I told her I disagreed but she say she can move with no problem because I am in the military and is deploy-able. Can she move being that I am in the military? I will be at that station for the next four years.

You know when I went in the military they told me I would be at Ft Bragg for the first 4 years because of my MOS and airborne and all that good stuff. I spent about 4 months there and next thing you know I'm on a C141 heading to Korea.

My point being that you are in the military, don't count on being guaranteed you will be anywhere for the next 4 years.

 

[l_x]

The mother want to move in with her boyfriend. She wanted to move out to a different county before but her and her boyfriend didn't work out so she ended up not moving. Now, she met someone new out of state and is thinking of moving. It's not official yet but I'm preparing in case she do. If she move and they don't work out, she may end up moving back as all her families are here.

I have been in the military for 9 years and have never been station out of the country before. I picked my orders to be in the same town as my son so I hope I will get to stay there for the next 4 years. I was stationed in a different town for the last 3 years but it was only 45mins away. I have always try to stay as close as I can to him.

 

[mistoffolees]

My point being that you are in the military, don't count on being guaranteed you will be anywhere for the next 4 years.

That's for sure. My BIL is Army and he doesn't even know where he's going to be in 4 WEEKS, much less 4 years.

The mother want to move in with her boyfriend. She wanted to move out to a different county before but her and her boyfriend didn't work out so she ended up not moving. Now, she met someone new out of state and is thinking of moving. It's not official yet but I'm preparing in case she do. If she move and they don't work out, she may end up moving back as all her families are here.

Please talk with an attorney.

If I were you, as soon as she announces a move, I'd be in court asking for custody on the basis of her severing the child's relationship with you simply so she could move across country and shack up with some new dude. The child needs stability and doesn't need to be forced to live with some new stranger whenever Mom gets an itch that needs scratching.

 

[LdiJ]

That's for sure. My BIL is Army and he doesn't even know where he's going to be in 4 WEEKS, much less 4 years.



Please talk with an attorney.

If I were you, as soon as she announces a move, I'd be in court asking for custody on the basis of her severing the child's relationship with you simply so she could move across country and shack up with some new dude. The child needs stability and doesn't need to be forced to live with some new stranger whenever Mom gets an itch that needs scratching.

I agree with you but dad IS going to be deployed for 6 months next year. That is just as problematic.

 

[l_x]

Would it be possible to ask for my son to stay with my wife during my deployment? (if the mother decides to move). I am aware my wife have no rights to my son and is a legal stranger, but that will keep my son in the same school and same town where he grew up. Will it hurt me in court to ask for this? If it is, I won't.

I'm getting nervous now that she can since I'm in the military.

 

[sometwo]

Would it be possible to ask for my son to stay with my wife during my deployment? (if the mother decides to move). I am aware my wife have no rights to my son and is a legal stranger, but that will keep my son in the same school and same town where he grew up. Will it hurt me in court to ask for this? If it is, I won't.

I'm getting nervous now that she can since I'm in the military

if the shoe were reversed would you want her husband keeping the child instead of you ? Would you want your child left with a legal stranger instead of with their parent?

Just saying.

and BTW would your wife really want to take on the responsibility full time with you gone, with someone else's kid?

 

[mistoffolees]

I agree with you but dad IS going to be deployed for 6 months next year. That is just as problematic.

No, it's not.

First, AT THE PRESENT TIME, it looks like he will be deployed for 6 months next year. As people have been trying to explain to you, military plans change all the time. It may not even happen.

But even if it does, Dad can let the child stay with Mom when he's overseas. So his argument would be "there's no reason to move the child away from the only home he's ever known and take him away from his other parent just so Mom can go shack up with her BF. Please order for custody to stay with me and that the child would TEMPORARILY go to Mom in the event that I get deployed in the future."

Problem solved.