It's a CIVIL ORDER - it's not gonna affect you. I have passed several criminal background checks in the past year, changed jobs, moved into a new place (the apt complex runs criminal bg checks), etc.Mostly because I don't want it to affect other aspects of my life. I am not really familiar with legal issues and court proceedings, but a few people I have talked to say that a RO will show up on any criminal background check.
Me either. THEY attacked ME - but they sought a restraining order and I didn't.If this is infact NOT true, and it can have no other affect other than to not have contact with her, I can accept that. It's just that I don't want that social stigma that I am abusive or ever have been. I am not a violent person, and I would never hurt those I care about.
I call bull****. Nothing irritates me more than men who say "It's because I have a penis" or "It's because I'm bigger than her"I know that because I am a guy and she is a girl the cards are automatically stacked against me. And since I am 6'3 and about 220 and she is 5'3 and about 100 pounds, of course there has to be more that went on.
You're gonna HAVE to 'get' it. Seriously. You prevented her from leaving the premises. You BROKE the LAW. Thank the gods that your 'punishment' is likely going to be a restraining order and not a DV conviction.I had to have bullied her and hit her and abusied her in some way. But honest to god, I did nor have I ever done anything to hurt her. This is someone I have loved with all my heart for 3 years and is someone I could never intentionally hurt. Yet somehow I have a restrainign order against me because I am a threat to her? I just don't get it...
I stated that a CIVIL restraining order would not negatively affect a particular poster's future. Since he did not state that he was in law enforcement, or seeking DOD clearances, I have to assume he is not or will not, as that would have been extremely pertinent information.MikeKV via PM said:In one instance I believe you said, although I could be wrong, that a restraining order would not affect someone's record. I don't agree. I work for a very prominent govt. consulting firm in the DC area and i've heard where many people are not able to acquire DOD clearances and/or public trust clearances for ANY blemishes on their record and this includes RO's.
I received a PM from a poster here who had issues with the advice I gave. In the interest of public disclosure, I am posting the pertinent part of the PM here, as well as my response to the poster's concerns.
I stated that a CIVIL restraining order would not negatively affect a particular poster's future. Since he did not state that he was in law enforcement, or seeking DOD clearances, I have to assume he is not or will not, as that would have been extremely pertinent information.
A CIVIL RO is public record. Anyone with access to the courts online files (assuming they have them) can see that there is an RO against the OP once it's issued. But it will not show up on a CRIMINAL check and should not affect his ability to rent a home or get a job. Which is what his concern was.
I don't know that 1 PM implies obsession, per se. Though I can absolutely understand becoming rather quickly enamored of my vast intellect.Who the hell is MikeKV and why is he so obsessed with you CJane??
Ohhh....I thought he had sent you a couple...I don't know that 1 PM implies obsession, per se. Though I can absolutely understand becoming rather quickly enamored of my vast intellect.
I only posted publicly because I refuse to do anything via PM except gossip with you, dear Bay.
1 PM... multiple issues w/me.Ohhh....I thought he had sent you a couple...
I love to gossip....
I'd love to know what your intention WAS, then, in blocking her exit.Yes I kept her there when she wanted to leave. At the time that wasn't my intention
Take this as an object lesson. Now you know that you cannot prohibit someone from leaving if that is what they choose to do. Therefore, don't ever try to stop someone again.Well that's the last thing I wanted, I really wasn't trying to "imprison" her. I just really wanted her to calm down and talk to me rationally. I didn't want her to just run out all erratic and do something stupid. I just simply wanted her to settle down a bit so we could work it out in a calm and mature manner.
This is the FIRST time anything like this has ever happened. I have never hit, or threatened to hit her. This litterally came out of nowehere and has completely blind-sided me. Everything had been wonderful(at least on the surface) for a long time now. We were talking about where we wanted to be married just the night before! Then this arguement happens and she just completely flies off the deep end, and now she says that she doesn't feel safe around me? I have been with her for 3 years and lived with her for 2. I just don't see how that can be.
I acknowledge that trying to keep her there was not the right thing to do, and I can accept(though not understand) that she doesn't want anything to do with me. What I do not understand is why a restraining order is neccessary. I would never hurt her and she HAS to know that. I mean, isn't a restraining order designed for protection? Doesn't there have to be some risk of harm for her to have this against me?