What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
Arizona
Hi all,
This is long, so please bear with me.
My 7 year old daughters mom (we'll call her "D") and I were still "together" (never married) for about 2 years after my daughter was born. When we separated, we never pursued any legal action to establish child support or visitation. We had always been able to agree on these issues. Within the last couple of years I have a new woman in my life and within the last 8-9 months "D" had left the man she had been living with for a year (we'll call him "H") and now has a new man (we'll call this one "J") living with her. She met "J" on the internet while she was living with "H". She then separated from "H" and met "J" 3-4 times in person before he moved out here from another state at the beginning of this month. I was not crazy about some things "H" did, but at least she had dated him some before they lived together. Also, since I knew "H", I never had a problem talking directly to him if I ever had a problem. I have seen and spoken to "J" exactly once in the month that he has been living in the same home as my daughter and the conversation was about 20 words long.
Prior to September of last year and for about 3 years, I was renting a room from a friend of mine in a 3br house where 2 other roommates lived. Needless to say, it was crowded and was no place that I wanted my daughter staying overnight. "D" works the night shift and leaves the house around 8:45pm and comes home at about 7:30am. After "D" left "H", she had no one to watch my daughter while she was at work, so she couldn't wait for me to move out of the house I was living in with the roommates and get a place where I could keep my daughter overnight. I met the woman I am with now while living at the roommate house and things between us got serious so we got our own house together, complete with 3 bedrooms so my daughter could have her own room. As soon as we moved into this house, my daughter began staying with us on the nights "D" worked. We had agreed that she would stay with me on those nights and we would alternate weekends. After about a month of this arrangement, "D" told me that "J" was going to be moving out here. I later advised "D" that I would continue to pay her support until the end of the year (another 3 months worth) but since I had my daughter an equal amount of time, I did not see a reason to continue paying her. The reason I did not stop the payments as soon as my daughter started staying with me is because there were a few months here and there that I did not make support payments to her, so I figured the 4 months worth of payments would compensate for this. Shortly after I told "D" I would stop paying her at the end of the year, she told me that when "J" moved out here, she intended to have my daughter stay home with him while she was at work. I told her I would not accept this until I had a chance to get to know him and I felt comfortable with my daughter staying overnight with him as the only other person in the house.
Needless to say, things escalated from that point and I told her that I was not going to back down on that issue and I was not afraid to go to court to have the matter settled if need be. After that, things calmed down so I hadn't talked anymore about going to court. I just found out that about 3 weeks ago she began the proceedings to obtain a child support order.
My first question is given that we had privately agreed on an amout for support which is supported by the fact that she did not pursue legal action until now, is it likely the court will order back child support payments?
The second question is since she agreed to the visitation arrangements until "J" moved out here, is it likely the court will un-do this arrangement simply because she has decided "J" can babysit for her while she's at work (which means she will benefit by me having to pay her child support again)?
Sorry this is so long, but there is a lot of history that I feel is relavant to the case, and I appreciate anyone that has taken the time to read through it and offer a response.
Thanks again.
Arizona
Hi all,
This is long, so please bear with me.
My 7 year old daughters mom (we'll call her "D") and I were still "together" (never married) for about 2 years after my daughter was born. When we separated, we never pursued any legal action to establish child support or visitation. We had always been able to agree on these issues. Within the last couple of years I have a new woman in my life and within the last 8-9 months "D" had left the man she had been living with for a year (we'll call him "H") and now has a new man (we'll call this one "J") living with her. She met "J" on the internet while she was living with "H". She then separated from "H" and met "J" 3-4 times in person before he moved out here from another state at the beginning of this month. I was not crazy about some things "H" did, but at least she had dated him some before they lived together. Also, since I knew "H", I never had a problem talking directly to him if I ever had a problem. I have seen and spoken to "J" exactly once in the month that he has been living in the same home as my daughter and the conversation was about 20 words long.
Prior to September of last year and for about 3 years, I was renting a room from a friend of mine in a 3br house where 2 other roommates lived. Needless to say, it was crowded and was no place that I wanted my daughter staying overnight. "D" works the night shift and leaves the house around 8:45pm and comes home at about 7:30am. After "D" left "H", she had no one to watch my daughter while she was at work, so she couldn't wait for me to move out of the house I was living in with the roommates and get a place where I could keep my daughter overnight. I met the woman I am with now while living at the roommate house and things between us got serious so we got our own house together, complete with 3 bedrooms so my daughter could have her own room. As soon as we moved into this house, my daughter began staying with us on the nights "D" worked. We had agreed that she would stay with me on those nights and we would alternate weekends. After about a month of this arrangement, "D" told me that "J" was going to be moving out here. I later advised "D" that I would continue to pay her support until the end of the year (another 3 months worth) but since I had my daughter an equal amount of time, I did not see a reason to continue paying her. The reason I did not stop the payments as soon as my daughter started staying with me is because there were a few months here and there that I did not make support payments to her, so I figured the 4 months worth of payments would compensate for this. Shortly after I told "D" I would stop paying her at the end of the year, she told me that when "J" moved out here, she intended to have my daughter stay home with him while she was at work. I told her I would not accept this until I had a chance to get to know him and I felt comfortable with my daughter staying overnight with him as the only other person in the house.
Needless to say, things escalated from that point and I told her that I was not going to back down on that issue and I was not afraid to go to court to have the matter settled if need be. After that, things calmed down so I hadn't talked anymore about going to court. I just found out that about 3 weeks ago she began the proceedings to obtain a child support order.
My first question is given that we had privately agreed on an amout for support which is supported by the fact that she did not pursue legal action until now, is it likely the court will order back child support payments?
The second question is since she agreed to the visitation arrangements until "J" moved out here, is it likely the court will un-do this arrangement simply because she has decided "J" can babysit for her while she's at work (which means she will benefit by me having to pay her child support again)?
Sorry this is so long, but there is a lot of history that I feel is relavant to the case, and I appreciate anyone that has taken the time to read through it and offer a response.
Thanks again.