Self-employed Custodial Parent. Help me prove my income.

[wildsoul]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California.

My ex and I were not married, but had a child together (age 2 now.) Abusive and mentally unstable ex left us 9 months ago. We finally got a signed child support agreement, but ex is now trying to fight it AGAIN. The courts are allowing him and his attorney to have another go at me.

Current agreement is that he is supposed to pay $XXX for child support, and half of daycare.

I don't think he can continue to dispute CS. He got a good job this year, while I'm self-employed (and always have been.) He makes a lot more than me now, especially as I'm coming out of the recession broke ass and trying to rebrand/revive my business. I'm depleting my savings while trying to get back on my feet. He's furious at the outcome, but I've provided 3 years worth of financials consisting of 3 sets of special interrogatories (2" thick!") IE's, tax returns, everything. Plus I settled for less than guideline just to avoid a trial, like him and his attorney kept threatening. So CS is being garnished.

He is refusing to pay half of daycare. His newest tactic is to claim that I've abandoned our child by putting him in daycare, and that I'm not working, therefore he doesn't want to pay half of daycare.

The judge is allowing him to demand proof that I work. So much of my work right now is unpaid! I've been building a new website, writing marketing materials, etc. I don't put tasks on my calendar, only actual appointments with people. Can you please give me some ideas for how I can submit proof?

So frustrating, as I've paid for 7 months of daycare without him reimbursing me. Almost half the time our baby wasn't even able to attend because he was sick, so I paid for daycare AND missed work. Now ex is trying to get out of the court order, which is standard in our state. All this document prep is REALLY keeping me from working on my business. Sad, sad irony. Please help me. I want to provide a really good packet of papers that the judge will find acceptable (the judge didn't specifically say what I need to provide.)

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California.

My ex and I were not married, but had a child together (age 2 now.) Abusive and mentally unstable ex left us 9 months ago. We finally got a signed child support agreement, but ex is now trying to fight it AGAIN. The courts are allowing him and his attorney to have another go at me.

Current agreement is that he is supposed to pay $XXX for child support, and half of daycare.

I don't think he can continue to dispute CS. He got a good job this year, while I'm self-employed (and always have been.) He makes a lot more than me now, especially as I'm coming out of the recession broke ass and trying to rebrand/revive my business. I'm depleting my savings while trying to get back on my feet. He's furious at the outcome, but I've provided 3 years worth of financials consisting of 3 sets of special interrogatories (2" thick!") IE's, tax returns, everything. Plus I settled for less than guideline just to avoid a trial, like him and his attorney kept threatening. So CS is being garnished.

He is refusing to pay half of daycare. His newest tactic is to claim that I've abandoned our child by putting him in daycare, and that I'm not working, therefore he doesn't want to pay half of daycare.

The judge is allowing him to demand proof that I work. So much of my work right now is unpaid! I've been building a new website, writing marketing materials, etc. I don't put tasks on my calendar, only actual appointments with people. Can you please give me some ideas for how I can submit proof?

So frustrating, as I've paid for 7 months of daycare without him reimbursing me. Almost half the time our baby wasn't even able to attend because he was sick, so I paid for daycare AND missed work. Now ex is trying to get out of the court order, which is standard in our state. All this document prep is REALLY keeping me from working on my business. Sad, sad irony. Please help me. I want to provide a really good packet of papers that the judge will find acceptable (the judge didn't specifically say what I need to provide.)

The NCP can "dispute" child support all the way to age 18. Sometimes CS goes down, often it goes up in amount. You can't stop Dad from disputing the amount.

Here's what CA says on the matter: http://www.occourts.org/directory/family/child-support.html. Also, http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=04001-05000&file=4050-4076.

What you normally provide to prove your income is last year's tax returns, or the last 3 years of tax returns.

 

[ecmst12]

What does your lawyer say?

(if you don't have one, there's your problem right there)

 

[wildsoul]

The NCP can "dispute" child support all the way to age 18. Sometimes CS goes down, often it goes up in amount. You can't stop Dad from disputing the amount.

Here's what CA says on the matter: http://www.occourts.org/directory/family/child-support.html. Also, http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=04001-05000&file=4050-4076.

What you normally provide to prove your income is last year's tax returns, or the last 3 years of tax returns.

Yeah, I've provided much more than tax returns already. Every bank statement for every account. Lists of clients. Lists of potential clients. On and on. All that happened was, as you said, his child support went UP. Their initial stipulation was low, but I didn't want to fight it. He DID and meanwhile, his income went up even more, so his CS stipulation went up too. He's super pissed about that.

Forgot to add two things.
1. The signed agreement he is now disputing was only signed 6 weeks ago. There has been no change warranting a re-examination. It's just harassment, but because he claimed he didn't understand what he signed, the judge is giving him another chance.

2. They already imputed income for me at minimum wage, because I'm not at break-even yet.

 

[wildsoul]

What does your lawyer say?

(if you don't have one, there's your problem right there)

I have a family law specialist. My attorney said to me, "They want paperwork? You give them paperwork." I balked at how this is taking me away from producing income, and was told to make note of how much time I spent on document production. My attorney or the judge didn't exactly specify WHAT will help prove my case though. I'm hoping others who've dealt with something similar can give me ideas for what kind of proof to submit.

 

[Silverplum]

I have a family law specialist. My attorney said to me, "They want paperwork? You give them paperwork." I balked at how this is taking me away from producing income, and was told to make note of how much time I spent on document production. My attorney or the judge didn't exactly specify WHAT will help prove my case though. I'm hoping others who've dealt with something similar can give me ideas for what kind of proof to submit.

Your attorney works in that court with that judge: we don't. ASK your attorney what the court wants, specifically. It's your attorney's JOB to communicate these things to you.

 

[CJane]

What sort of business do you run? There may be relatively simple ways to "prove" you're working.

 

[wildsoul]

What sort of business do you run? There may be relatively simple ways to "prove" you're working.

I'm a consultant. So I've got invoices that match income. I don't work in person; there's no cash under the table going on. My attorney suggested providing a business plan and so I'm taking my handwritten one and plugging into a proper template. Just now I realized I can export my calendar to Excel, so while my attorney told me the judge hates calendars, I think I can maybe show some of my activities in an Excel chart. For example, can show that about 50% of the time I didn't have access to daycare and couldn't work. The actual things I've done are things like writing my website, market research, redoing marketing materials--all the things that a solo entrepreneur does.

What ideas do you have CJane?

 

[mmmagique]

I'm a consultant. So I've got invoices that match income. I don't work in person; there's no cash under the table going on. My attorney suggested providing a business plan and so I'm taking my handwritten one and plugging into a proper template. Just now I realized I can export my calendar to Excel, so while my attorney told me the judge hates calendars, I think I can maybe show some of my activities in an Excel chart. For example, can show that about 50% of the time I didn't have access to daycare and couldn't work. The actual things I've done are things like writing my website, market research, redoing marketing materials--all the things that a solo entrepreneur does.

What ideas do you have CJane?

I work at home and have never needed daycare. I don't see how working at home precludes you from working. (although you would need to take frequent breaks)
Many parents work from home and manage to balance their online businesses with their parenting duties.
Is it ideal? In some cases, yes. In others, not so much.

 

[single317dad]

I work at home and have never needed daycare. I don't see how working at home precludes you from working. (although you would need to take frequent breaks)
Many parents work from home and manage to balance their online businesses with their parenting duties.
Is it ideal? In some cases, yes. In others, not so much.

I am self-employed and I wish I had put my son in preschool long before I did. It was MUCH better for both of us once I could focus on work and he had more play and social time at school.

 

[AnonUserName]

I work at home and have never needed daycare. I don't see how working at home precludes you from working. (although you would need to take frequent breaks)
Many parents work from home and manage to balance their online businesses with their parenting duties.
Is it ideal? In some cases, yes. In others, not so much.

Sounds like the OP could be in a catch 22. Can't book appointments if she doesn't have child care but doesn't need child care everyday. Most daycares won't hold spots unless you pay for the full week, every week.

 

[gam]

Sounds like the OP could be in a catch 22. Can't book appointments if she doesn't have child care but doesn't need child care everyday. Most daycares won't hold spots unless you pay for the full week, every week.

Actually many daycares allow part time, and many will work with a changing schedule with only a couple days notice to switch days. If you don't use the days you still have to pay, but you only have to pay for the amount of days you sign up for. Some daycares even have a set amount of free days a year that you can miss and not be charged for. They also will let you add on a day from time to time, as long as they can arrange to have staff cover all children that day. She could also find a private sitter that would allow for a more flexible schedule. Doing your homework pays off when your dealing with a non traditional mon-fri 40 hour a week job.

 

[wildsoul]

Sounds like the OP could be in a catch 22. Can't book appointments if she doesn't have child care but doesn't need child care everyday. Most daycares won't hold spots unless you pay for the full week, every week.

I'm a consultant and talk on the phone for a living, so it has to be absolutely quiet. My child is 2. It's not like I can park him somewhere and ask him to be quiet. When I'm not on the phone, it's still near impossible to do anything more complicated than check email. Little one is active, wanting and deserving of attention.

I hardly worked the first 18 months of his life so I could really give him my all. Depleted my savings in doing so, but was really worth it. Mama needs to work now. Especially as his dad doesn't want to help pay for anything.