Separating Siblings

[milspecgirl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

My ex and I are going to mediation next week to try to work out a schedule that will work for our girls (15 and 12). He currently has primary with me having ample visitation. This was agreed upon when I had to move for work approx 5 years ago. I have been back in town now for 1.5 years and have been working on getting back the 50/50 that we had before I was transferred.

My question is this: do judges allow separation of children? Our 15 yo is going thru a rough time and is in counseling and under a psychiatrists care. However, she causes a lot of stress for the 12 yo and it is manifesting is physical ailments. My thought is to separate them during the week and have them together on weekends. I don't want them separated for good or totally, but I think a break between them may be necessary while the older one goes thru treatment to protect the younger one emotionally.

My scenario would be like week 1- oldest one with mom, youngest with dad. weekend 1- both kids with mom. week 2- oldest one with dad, youngest one with mom. weekend 2- both kids with dad.

Thoughts? Ideas?

 

[forthecause]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

My ex and I are going to mediation next week to try to work out a schedule that will work for our girls (15 and 12). He currently has primary with me having ample visitation. This was agreed upon when I had to move for work approx 5 years ago. I have been back in town now for 1.5 years and have been working on getting back the 50/50 that we had before I was transferred.

My question is this: do judges allow separation of children? Our 15 yo is going thru a rough time and is in counseling and under a psychiatrists care. However, she causes a lot of stress for the 12 yo and it is manifesting is physical ailments. My thought is to separate them during the week and have them together on weekends. I don't want them separated for good or totally, but I think a break between them may be necessary while the older one goes thru treatment to protect the younger one emotionally.

My scenario would be like week 1- oldest one with mom, youngest with dad. weekend 1- both kids with mom. week 2- oldest one with dad, youngest one with mom. weekend 2- both kids with dad.

Thoughts? Ideas?

possible if you agree to it, but I am not sure if a judge would be happy splitting the siblings up.

Does your x want to fight over it all??

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

My ex and I are going to mediation next week to try to work out a schedule that will work for our girls (15 and 12). He currently has primary with me having ample visitation. This was agreed upon when I had to move for work approx 5 years ago. I have been back in town now for 1.5 years and have been working on getting back the 50/50 that we had before I was transferred.

My question is this: do judges allow separation of children? Our 15 yo is going thru a rough time and is in counseling and under a psychiatrists care. However, she causes a lot of stress for the 12 yo and it is manifesting is physical ailments. My thought is to separate them during the week and have them together on weekends. I don't want them separated for good or totally, but I think a break between them may be necessary while the older one goes thru treatment to protect the younger one emotionally.

My scenario would be like week 1- oldest one with mom, youngest with dad. weekend 1- both kids with mom. week 2- oldest one with dad, youngest one with mom. weekend 2- both kids with dad.

Thoughts? Ideas?

I agreed to split custody when I moved down. The oldest stayed north and the younger one came with me.

What I did was to ensure a schedule that had the children together on vacations and holidays. Otherwise, they were apart. The fought terribly when younger, but now, the two are really close.

 

[milspecgirl]

we are going to mediation next week and I am hoping to work something out with him. We do not get along and we do not agree on anything, but we do love our kids and are both good parents.
My oldest one is really acting out and putting a strain on his marriage. Their counselor as well as the oldest one's psychiatrist are stating that 50/50 could be very good for my daughter as she has major separation problems. My hope is to try to keep some distance between the 2 of them for a time until my older one can get help so she doesn't continue to hurt the younger one. They would still be together every weekend as well as all major holidays, etc. I was thinking maybe if they weren't together all the time they could try to form a bond.
I just don't know if it is even a good idea to bring up to the mediator.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Do you have it documented that the older one is hurting the other one?

Exactly HOW is the older one hurting younger child? Physically? Verbally?

 

[milspecgirl]

the older one is bullying the younger one. What is happening is that she is using the younger one as her confidante, even though the younger one doesn't want to hear it and then threatening and bullying her into keeping secrets. My youngest daughter gets very stressed and this is causing physical issues to manifest. It has been documented in counseling and my ex and I see the manifestations and way she treats her sister. While I know bickering and fighting with sisters in natural (I have one), my older daughter has mental issues (that are being dealt with) that make her a master manipulator and narcisist. My ex and I are able to deal with her, but a 12 year old child is no match.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If a judge were presented the facts as stated, you might prevail. What I am hearing are arguments on why it is in the BEST INTEREST of both children to be separated for the time being. It sounds like a parent could focus on ONE child at a time to help with the issues.

If it were me presenting it, I would focus on how it is in their better interests to be "only" children for most of the week. What would be the plan of attack to help BOTH children while in the respective homes.