Separation and Divorce

[sgtcwby]

My state of residency is Virginia.

I appreciate everybody's help on here.

I really need to know the steps though in this process.

Let me tell you what I think it is and please somebody correct me if I am wrong or tell me if I am right.

1. Put house for sell
2. Sell house (could be 6-12 months before it sells) while still leaving together
3. Get legal separation and MSA (don't you have to have proof you are living separately to get the the legal separation or can I get this while I am selling the house and if I am allowed to get the separation, even though we are not living apart from one another because of the house, does the one year start time start ticking then or do I really have to wait till we have officially sold the house and are living apart?)
4. When do we file for custody? Once living apart? once we get legal separation? etc...
5. file for divorce after whatever you guys tell me on #3.

Trying to clarify some of these things....so if anybody could help. I appreciate it. Thanks!

 

[sgtcwby]

I forgot to tell you I am active duty in the Virginia Army National Guard, Active Guard Reserve (AGR) and I do not live on any base.

I own a single family home.

 

[LdiJ]

Dude...you really NEED an attorney. You are asking for far more help than an internet forum can provide.

On top of that, you keep starting new threads with the same questions. That is a violation of the TOS for this site.

 

[sgtcwby]

I haven't asked that many questions and if I have you smart guys, that do this stuff on a regular basis, should be able to answer, to me, these very simple questions.

I reposted my last post to a new thread, because it was getting me no where. Sorry if that was a violation. I didn't know.

 

[Bali Hai]

I haven't asked that many questions and if I have you smart guys, that do this stuff on a regular basis, should be able to answer, to me, these very simple questions.

I reposted my last post to a new thread, because it was getting me no where. Sorry if that was a violation. I didn't know.

I just don't understand how you got into the military without graduating from high school.

Did you have a relative helping you??

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Ignore Bali ... he/she seems to really dislike the military.

Your best bet since neither of you can afford the house on your own is to remain put and place the house on the market. Put on your best face with the kids around and go to counseling. I suggest getting it all aired out now so that you can co-parent successfully. Once the house sells, then separate. It will provide the least amount of damage financially to both parties.

Figure out an equitable amount that needs to be contributed towards household maintenance. No, her saving up all her money and you footing the bill is NOT equitable. Basically, it should be based percentage wide on how much you each make.

I cannot answer you in Virginia law. I can only give you advice on making it a more civilized divorce.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

Are you not entitled to the services from Base Legal?

 

[sgtcwby]

Ignore Bali ... he/she seems to really dislike the military.

• I am...I am noticing a lot about Bali

Your best bet since neither of you can afford the house on your own is to remain put and place the house on the market. Put on your best face with the kids around and go to counseling. I suggest getting it all aired out now so that you can co-parent successfully. Once the house sells, then separate. It will provide the least amount of damage financially to both parties.

• It not that I can't afford the house on my own, I just know I won't be able to afford child cupport or child care and my home.

Figure out an equitable amount that needs to be contributed towards household maintenance. No, her saving up all her money and you footing the bill is NOT equitable. Basically, it should be based percentage wide on how much you each make.

• I currently pay all bills except for the childcare, this is because of the amount of income she makes (not much)

I cannot answer you in Virginia law. I can only give you advice on making it a more civilized divorce.

• Thanks for the help you did give, maybe somebody with Virginia Law expertise will pop up somewhere, maybe not.

• Thanks again!!

 

[sgtcwby]

Are you not entitled to the services from Base Legal?

• Not sure, I will find out. Thanks for bringing it up. The reason I am not sure is because I am not in the regular army, I active in the Guard...so I think I should be, but I need to make some phone calls.

 

[sgtcwby]

I just don't understand how you got into the military without graduating from high school.

Did you have a relative helping you??

• Why are you such a hateful and spiteful individual? What the crap did I do to you? I am a successful person in just about all that I do. Just because I have NEVER gone through DIVORCE before and don't know the first about it, does not mean that I am a stupid, high school drop out. I came on this forum, thinking...WOW, this actually looks promising. People are actually taking THEIR time to help others everywhere. Maybe they can help answer some of my questions as well and in turn easing my mind a little bit and possibly not costing as much during the divorce. I never once in any of my posts asked for spiteful words or somebody's opinions. I asked for facts established by today's state laws. Now maybe somebody hurt you and maybe you just need a HUG, but that is NO Excuse to be acting as such, because it will get you nowhere in life!!!! If you can't refrain from your current way of responding to people's posts, I think it would be better for you NOT to post at all, because from I have seen from mine and many other's threads you are NOT helping one bit, except for providing your BIASED OPINION. Hope you have a GREAT week!

 

[Bali Hai]

• Why are you such a hateful and spiteful individual? What the crap did I do to you? I am a successful person in just about all that I do. Just because I have NEVER gone through DIVORCE before and don't know the first about it, does not mean that I am a stupid, high school drop out. I came on this forum, thinking...WOW, this actually looks promising. People are actually taking THEIR time to help others everywhere. Maybe they can help answer some of my questions as well and in turn easing my mind a little bit and possibly not costing as much during the divorce. I never once in any of my posts asked for spiteful words or somebody's opinions. I asked for facts established by today's state laws. Now maybe somebody hurt you and maybe you just need a HUG, but that is NO Excuse to be acting as such, because it will get you nowhere in life!!!! But with your current attitude don't expect it any time soon!! If you can't refrain from your current way of responding to people's posts, I think it would be better for you NOT to post at all, because from I have seen from mine and many other's threads you are NOT helping one bit, except for providing your BIASED OPINION. Hope you have a GREAT week!

Just consider this divorce boot camp gump.

 

[SHORTY LONG]

Just consider this divorce boot camp gump.

IMHO LMAO

 

[tuffbrk]

• Why are you such a hateful and spiteful individual? What the crap did I do to you? I am a successful person in just about all that I do. Just because I have NEVER gone through DIVORCE before and don't know the first about it, does not mean that I am a stupid, high school drop out. I came on this forum, thinking...WOW, this actually looks promising. People are actually taking THEIR time to help others everywhere. Maybe they can help answer some of my questions as well and in turn easing my mind a little bit and possibly not costing as much during the divorce. I never once in any of my posts asked for spiteful words or somebody's opinions. I asked for facts established by today's state laws. Now maybe somebody hurt you and maybe you just need a HUG, but that is NO Excuse to be acting as such, because it will get you nowhere in life!!!! If you can't refrain from your current way of responding to people's posts, I think it would be better for you NOT to post at all, because from I have seen from mine and many other's threads you are NOT helping one bit, except for providing your BIASED OPINION. Hope you have a GREAT week!

Now, now...you are being spiteful. I am in a similar position to Bali and so his posts always make me smile - it's all about perspective and whether the scr*w you got during the divorce was far more than all the years of scr*ing you got when you were married! Don't sweat the small stuff - take the advice that you want and leave the rest. Have a good one.